OK, which of you wrote this Dear Prudence question about Trick or Treat?

[Anonymous]

I know if the roles were reversed, someone would be unhappy that their snowflake wasn't given priority. Parents are only "negligent" when they are someone else's parents, it seems.

You can't deny someone Halloween candy, unless you want huge problems. But then, some people don't know when to say when.....

[Anonymous]

I don't mind giving all the kids candy but when I see the parents dressed up with an infant taking candy or holding their own bags out, that's not cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When we were growing up, we only went to the houses of people we knew. I think the parents who let their kids collect candy from random strangers are negligent.

This is a new one.

[Anonymous]

Haven't you heard about the turquoise/mauve or whatever the hideous color is for people who provide food allergy friendly treats?

[Anonymous]

And a response:

Yes I Take My Poor Children Trick-or-Treating in Your Rich Neighborhood: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2014/10/yes-i-bring-my-poor-children-trick-or-treating-in-your-rich-neighborhood.html

[Anonymous]

Wait, are the only ones who only give candy to children who can show proper identification to prove they are local? It's like voting in Texas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really rude to take your kids to a different neighborhood than your own. I spend a lot on candy. It's not cheap. I've already bought 4 bags this year.

Also, as someone who didn't grow up in a kid neighborhood, I hated it. It sucks not having lots of kids around you. Totally different childhood than my friends and DH had. Kid friendly was very high on the list when we were house shopping.

I'm not rich by any means, but I manage to buy enough candy for all the kids who are driven in to my neighborhood for trick-or-treating. It's once a year. These kids live in neighborhoods where it's not safe for them to go door to door. And I'm happy to spend a little more to give them the Halloween experience in my safe neighborhood. They deserve that.

[Anonymous]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/halloween-carpetbaggers-expose-the-fault-lines-between-the-haves-and-have-nots/2014/10/30/49aac050-6064-11e4-8b9e-2ccdac31a031_story.html?hpid=z4

And this thread is now featured in a Dvorak column.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/halloween-carpetbaggers-expose-the-fault-lines-between-the-haves-and-have-nots/2014/10/30/49aac050-6064-11e4-8b9e-2ccdac31a031_story.html?hpid=z4

And this thread is now featured in a Dvorak column.

We're famous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/halloween-carpetbaggers-expose-the-fault-lines-between-the-haves-and-have-nots/2014/10/30/49aac050-6064-11e4-8b9e-2ccdac31a031_story.html?hpid=z4

And this thread is now featured in a Dvorak column.

We're famous!

Well, infamous, I guess. But still!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a neighborhood that is a really close community and people go all out with the inflatable lawn decorations and so forth. We have watched Halloween change in our neighborhood over the past eight years or so. It went from being a local neighborhood party where you saw your friends' kids, caught up with old friends, and occasionally offered them a beer -- to being a big "free candy festival" for up to 300 people from outside the neighborhood. Things that we used to do in the neighborhood -- giving little kids a ride in a golf cart, the big kids setting up little tricks to scare the smaller kids, the big kids dressing up like zombies, the parents dressing up -- all of this has changed now that it's no longer a neighborhood event. We get massive amounts of traffic -- the lazy ass parents who trail the kids in a minivan and won't get out of the car, and most years I've been annoyed because if I have to drop one of my kids off at a Halloween party at a friend's house outside the neighborhood, I actually spend time in traffic in my neighborhood waiting to get back to my house.
And lately, we've had kids not only visiting at Halloween but showing up later soliciting funds for their school teams, trying to sell us stuff for their school fundraiser, etc. I concur with the poster who said that they chose a family-friendly neighborhood and chose to spend the money for that neighborhood. THe principle is called free-riding, folks. If you drop your kids off at my door, but there is no intention of reciprocity, then you're a user.
I buy your kid's stupid fundraisers, and you buy my kid's scout cookies, etc. It's a trade-off. Tit for tat. Just showing up and expecting things is not that. I think the original letter writer was correct when she said that it was actually a form of charity -- in which you take but don't give back. I agree with her. I pay taxes, I buy extra school supplies and backpacks for kids in September, I buy someone a turkey at Thanksgiving, Christmas, I buy extra Christmas gifts for someone else's child, I pack backpacks so kids have lunch on weekends if they get a free school lunch, I donate to Habitat for Humanity -- does everything in America need to be about redistribution? Why can't Halloween just be a neighborhood event? That doesn't seem unreasonable to me.

So how does it feel to be singled out as a parsimonious ass in the Washington Post?

[Anonymous]

I, for one, welcome trick or treaters until i run out of candy! I normally buy way too much, and only so much can be absorbed by hungry adults at work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:have 2 bins for candy. Give the expensive stuff the kids in your neighborhood. This is what a halloween greeting consultant we are hiring to hand out candy told us. This is a good interview question.

Where do you live? Cause we are coming to your hood!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a neighborhood that is a really close community and people go all out with the inflatable lawn decorations and so forth. We have watched Halloween change in our neighborhood over the past eight years or so. It went from being a local neighborhood party where you saw your friends' kids, caught up with old friends, and occasionally offered them a beer -- to being a big "free candy festival" for up to 300 people from outside the neighborhood. Things that we used to do in the neighborhood -- giving little kids a ride in a golf cart, the big kids setting up little tricks to scare the smaller kids, the big kids dressing up like zombies, the parents dressing up -- all of this has changed now that it's no longer a neighborhood event. We get massive amounts of traffic -- the lazy ass parents who trail the kids in a minivan and won't get out of the car, and most years I've been annoyed because if I have to drop one of my kids off at a Halloween party at a friend's house outside the neighborhood, I actually spend time in traffic in my neighborhood waiting to get back to my house.
And lately, we've had kids not only visiting at Halloween but showing up later soliciting funds for their school teams, trying to sell us stuff for their school fundraiser, etc. I concur with the poster who said that they chose a family-friendly neighborhood and chose to spend the money for that neighborhood. THe principle is called free-riding, folks. If you drop your kids off at my door, but there is no intention of reciprocity, then you're a user.
I buy your kid's stupid fundraisers, and you buy my kid's scout cookies, etc. It's a trade-off. Tit for tat. Just showing up and expecting things is not that. I think the original letter writer was correct when she said that it was actually a form of charity -- in which you take but don't give back. I agree with her. I pay taxes, I buy extra school supplies and backpacks for kids in September, I buy someone a turkey at Thanksgiving, Christmas, I buy extra Christmas gifts for someone else's child, I pack backpacks so kids have lunch on weekends if they get a free school lunch, I donate to Habitat for Humanity -- does everything in America need to be about redistribution? Why can't Halloween just be a neighborhood event? That doesn't seem unreasonable to me.

So how does it feel to be singled out as a parsimonious ass in the Washington Post?

This is only the beginning. They brought it upon themselves.

Wait until people start driving around to the suspected "great ToT" neighborhoods, and all of the cars start letting people off in the same places, causing more and more drop offs. Party time!

[Anonymous]

This year we had non-neighborhood children without costumes with pillow cases, grabbing handfuls of candy. While DH and I were out with our own kids we watched some kids from outside our neighborhood literally dump an unattended bowl into their pillow case. Kids from our neighborhood would just take one or two pieces. At 9:30 pm we closed up, and I left a bowl of candy on the front stoop for any stragglers. Sure enough, I heard a rowdy group come by 30 seconds afterward. I peeked through my window and - you guessed it-- older kids with pillow cases and no costumes in the process of dumping the just filled bowl into a pillowcase. I actually yelled at them not to be greedy and they looked at me, laughed, and took off.

Rude.