OK, which of you wrote this Dear Prudence question about Trick or Treat?

[Anonymous]

Set up a 501(c)(3). Charity's mission: give a way candy to the needy on Halloween night. Homeowner donates $ to said charity to buy candy. Charity buys candy, tax-free, and homeowner gives away candy. Homeowner gets a tax break. Everyone wins.

[Anonymous]

candy is bad for the children, give them pencils

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a block party you can always block entry at the check point to verify the papers of the car or person seeking entry.

How would you hope to legally block public streets, pray tell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That HAS to be made up. No one is trucking up to AU park or wherever from the 'hood.

No but people do go to Georgetown and to East Capitol St in the Hill.

[Anonymous]

On the subject of Halloween candy, what would you think of me if I was eating some and putting empty wrappers back in the bowl to give out to people? You know, it falls under the "trick" category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We go to a different neighborhood because we only have a few houses in our neighborhood. We usually go with friends in our friend's neighborhood. I leave out a bucket of candy every Halloween and return to find it untouched. We obviously do not have a trick or treating neighborhood.

Or they have been rightly taught NOT to take candy from an unstaffed bucket.

This is the first I've ever heard of this. i assume of course the candy's at least wrapped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a block party you can always block entry at the check point to verify the papers of the car or person seeking entry.

How would you hope to legally block public streets, pray tell?

Papers???!!! Are you for real??!! LOLZ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in a neighborhood that is a really close community and people go all out with the inflatable lawn decorations and so forth. We have watched Halloween change in our neighborhood over the past eight years or so. It went from being a local neighborhood party where you saw your friends' kids, caught up with old friends, and occasionally offered them a beer -- to being a big "free candy festival" for up to 300 people from outside the neighborhood. Things that we used to do in the neighborhood -- giving little kids a ride in a golf cart, the big kids setting up little tricks to scare the smaller kids, the big kids dressing up like zombies, the parents dressing up -- all of this has changed now that it's no longer a neighborhood event. We get massive amounts of traffic -- the lazy ass parents who trail the kids in a minivan and won't get out of the car, and most years I've been annoyed because if I have to drop one of my kids off at a Halloween party at a friend's house outside the neighborhood, I actually spend time in traffic in my neighborhood waiting to get back to my house.
And lately, we've had kids not only visiting at Halloween but showing up later soliciting funds for their school teams, trying to sell us stuff for their school fundraiser, etc. I concur with the poster who said that they chose a family-friendly neighborhood and chose to spend the money for that neighborhood. THe principle is called free-riding, folks. If you drop your kids off at my door, but there is no intention of reciprocity, then you're a user.
I buy your kid's stupid fundraisers, and you buy my kid's scout cookies, etc. It's a trade-off. Tit for tat. Just showing up and expecting things is not that. I think the original letter writer was correct when she said that it was actually a form of charity -- in which you take but don't give back. I agree with her. I pay taxes, I buy extra school supplies and backpacks for kids in September, I buy someone a turkey at Thanksgiving, Christmas, I buy extra Christmas gifts for someone else's child, I pack backpacks so kids have lunch on weekends if they get a free school lunch, I donate to Habitat for Humanity -- does everything in America need to be about redistribution? Why can't Halloween just be a neighborhood event? That doesn't seem unreasonable to me.

Um.. maybe some parents bring their kids over because it's safer 'round the affluent areas. Maybe they don't feel safe walking or driving around their neighborhoods. Maybe in their low income 'hoods not many people participate in giving out candy. I invited an acquaintance with their kids over to my more affluent area because in their area, there aren't very many kids, so it's not as much fun. We have since moved out of the area, but they have gone back to that area during Halloween. I think it's great that they can do that. I think it's great that here, in the US, we can freely move around, for the most part.

So, because you donate to charity throughout the year you want just this one event to be neighborhood only, even though this event is celebrated by the entire country, for the most part. I know, put a sign out that says "for my affluent neighbors only." Good luck with that.

This. Seriously, people, candy is not expensive. Have a heart - these kids are from crap neighborhoods; you can't see how much better for them it is to walk in a safe, pleasant neighborhood one night a year to get some treats on the most epic kid holiday after Christmas? For the person who enjoyed his/her cozy neighborhood Halloween, I can understand the feeling of loss of a nice tradition there. But for the people who are just cheap/racist/snobby - no sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This. Seriously, people, candy is not expensive. Have a heart - these kids are from crap neighborhoods; you can't see how much better for them it is to walk in a safe, pleasant neighborhood one night a year to get some treats on the most epic kid holiday after Christmas? For the person who enjoyed his/her cozy neighborhood Halloween, I can understand the feeling of loss of a nice tradition there. But for the people who are just cheap/racist/snobby - no sympathy.

This is really the nub of it, and it is about scale. Small numbers of out-of-neighborhood people are fine, but when large numbers of out-of-neighborhood people come to Halloween, it can destroy the community feeling. Instead of seeing your friends and neighbors and kids you sort of know, you are seeing a bunch of random strangers. It's a totally different feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This. Seriously, people, candy is not expensive. Have a heart - these kids are from crap neighborhoods; you can't see how much better for them it is to walk in a safe, pleasant neighborhood one night a year to get some treats on the most epic kid holiday after Christmas? For the person who enjoyed his/her cozy neighborhood Halloween, I can understand the feeling of loss of a nice tradition there. But for the people who are just cheap/racist/snobby - no sympathy.

This is really the nub of it, and it is about scale. Small numbers of out-of-neighborhood people are fine, but when large numbers of out-of-neighborhood people come to Halloween, it can destroy the community feeling. Instead of seeing your friends and neighbors and kids you sort of know, you are seeing a bunch of random strangers. It's a totally different feeling.

How do you know they are strangers? They are in costume! Genuinely curious here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This. Seriously, people, candy is not expensive. Have a heart - these kids are from crap neighborhoods; you can't see how much better for them it is to walk in a safe, pleasant neighborhood one night a year to get some treats on the most epic kid holiday after Christmas? For the person who enjoyed his/her cozy neighborhood Halloween, I can understand the feeling of loss of a nice tradition there. But for the people who are just cheap/racist/snobby - no sympathy.

This is really the nub of it, and it is about scale. Small numbers of out-of-neighborhood people are fine, but when large numbers of out-of-neighborhood people come to Halloween, it can destroy the community feeling. Instead of seeing your friends and neighbors and kids you sort of know, you are seeing a bunch of random strangers. It's a totally different feeling.

How do you know they are strangers? They are in costume! Genuinely curious here.

Perhaps your neighborhood has more elaborate costumes than I am used to. It's never really been that hard to identify people. Also, most of the parents accompanying the little ones are not in costume either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This. Seriously, people, candy is not expensive. Have a heart - these kids are from crap neighborhoods; you can't see how much better for them it is to walk in a safe, pleasant neighborhood one night a year to get some treats on the most epic kid holiday after Christmas? For the person who enjoyed his/her cozy neighborhood Halloween, I can understand the feeling of loss of a nice tradition there. But for the people who are just cheap/racist/snobby - no sympathy.

This is really the nub of it, and it is about scale. Small numbers of out-of-neighborhood people are fine, but when large numbers of out-of-neighborhood people come to Halloween, it can destroy the community feeling. Instead of seeing your friends and neighbors and kids you sort of know, you are seeing a bunch of random strangers. It's a totally different feeling.

How do you know they are strangers? They are in costume! Genuinely curious here.

Perhaps your neighborhood has more elaborate costumes than I am used to. It's never really been that hard to identify people. Also, most of the parents accompanying the little ones are not in costume either.

Do you talk to or check out every single person?

I am not sure of your point. If it is a public road, anyone can "Halloween" there. Just as if it is a public road, anyone can drive there. How would you propose to keep the undesirables out? What makes the children undesirable? Are they of color?

Maybe they like your neighborhood, once per year, for the same reason you do. Most neighborhoods I know, especially if the houses are closer together, are getting more and more children for Halloween. Isn't that what the holiday is about? The more the merrier. Do you have children? Do you turn off your lights on Halloween and stand at the window (with binoculars), waiting for it to pass?

I don't imagine you are this stringent when it suits you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:does everything in America need to be about redistribution? Why can't Halloween just be a neighborhood event? That doesn't seem unreasonable to me.

You could create a "secret knock" that only the neighborhood kids know ... like an elite secret society of trick or treating lol.

If this is actually a "problem" in your life worth devoting several paragraphs to, then you are probably way more fortunate than the kids showing up in your neighborhood one night a year to partake in a fun kid's holiday. BAH HUMBUG!

And if you don't want to buy their gift wrap or whatever later on, just say no thank you. Geeze, problem solved. You're welcome.

[Anonymous]

When we were growing up, we only went to the houses of people we knew. I think the parents who let their kids collect candy from random strangers are negligent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really rude to take your kids to a different neighborhood than your own. I spend a lot on candy. It's not cheap. I've already bought 4 bags this year.

Also, as someone who didn't grow up in a kid neighborhood, I hated it. It sucks not having lots of kids around you. Totally different childhood than my friends and DH had. Kid friendly was very high on the list when we were house shopping.

Yes, and no at the same time. I grew up in a rurl area, so I was usually one of few trick-or-treaters that would bother. I would walk the area - about 2 miles - and get loads of candy since I was one of a small handful of kids that would do it. And yes, being in a rural area was less than ideal. It was high up on my priority list.

So, I live in a nice neighborhood. It does bother me to see van loads come and drop off... but I also 'get it'. I invite our more rural friends to ToT with us.
But it is really not that big of a deal. They come to our neighborhood because their neighborhood has few homes that give out ToT, or is unsafe, or whatever.