how would you handle this difficult work situation?

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to take care of yourself and your family first. Ignore the people who are telling you to "suck it up." No--you don't have to. If they want to, that's fine, but it's not how most people want to live. Just get through this, work your 40-43 hours/week, if your boss balks, talk to HR, and look for another job after you recover from the birth. Family-friendly jobs do exist--I work in one and feel very lucky.

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

And it seems like the females who think they have done some awesome thing by working 60 hours a week during their pregnancy are just perpetuating this.

Yes! I also can't believe how many women are thinking that it's the greatest thing to live like that. Seriously? Have you fallen into deluding yourselves? Are you also the aggressive drivers that nearly kill others on the interstate? Are you happy when you spent your hard earned money on the 10 days of vacation you get? And while you are sitting in that cafe in Paris or Rome contemplate why the majority of the people around you appear to be truly enjoying an absolutely ordinary day?
Just wondering. That attitude is not normal. And please spare us the 'Why don't you move' comments, maybe *you* should move, to see that there is more than one way to live, and that opening your mind has nothing to do with patriotism for your country.

[Anonymous]

Therefore, if this is what you want, then you need to move to one of these 128 countries. If the entire Congress, both Houses, and the White House were all women, this policy might be, and I stress might, be a tad more liberal, but not very much as these women would want to re-elected.

Funny enough, I would venture to say that NONE of the 128 countries that were mentioned have an 'all-women-congress'.
And 'these women would want to be re-elected' - by whom? By men who have no families? Give me a break!?

And why on earth would you think it's *liberal* to ensure working women time with their infants, and to protect a fetus during pregnancy by protecting the working pregnant woman from too much physical stress at the workplace?? And why would you think it's 'conservative' to work 60 hr weeks, and possibly nightshifts, shift work, standing extended times, working without breaks, when pregnant? We have no laws here and thousands of women work right up until their water breaks.
Labeling this conservative vs liberal is just a bizarre way of thinking. I guarantee that many of the 128 countries are way more conservative than we are as a country.

[Anonymous]

This, as you know is not the case in this country not will it be anytime soon. Therefore, if this is what you want, then you need to move to one of these 128 countries. If you do not choose to move then stop complaining and whining as this will change nothing. If the entire Congress, both Houses, and the White House were all women, this policy might be, and I stress might, be a tad more liberal, but not very much as these women would want to re-elected.

The policy now is heaven compared to what it was even 20 years ago. My mother worked, and had no paid time off, she made it though three maternity leaves. So did millions of other women. What makes you think you are so special?

oh yes. all working women who believe in better parental leave/rights should just move away, rather than advocate for change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to take care of yourself and your family first. Ignore the people who are telling you to "suck it up." No--you don't have to. If they want to, that's fine, but it's not how most people want to live. Just get through this, work your 40-43 hours/week, if your boss balks, talk to HR, and look for another job after you recover from the birth. Family-friendly jobs do exist--I work in one and feel very lucky.

Good luck to you.

Ditto this excellent advice. It's definitely possible to have a career or job that you enjoy and that allows you to make worthwhile contributions without shortchanging your family and relationship with your spouse (or significant other).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This, as you know is not the case in this country not will it be anytime soon. Therefore, if this is what you want, then you need to move to one of these 128 countries. If you do not choose to move then stop complaining and whining as this will change nothing. If the entire Congress, both Houses, and the White House were all women, this policy might be, and I stress might, be a tad more liberal, but not very much as these women would want to re-elected.

The policy now is heaven compared to what it was even 20 years ago. My mother worked, and had no paid time off, she made it though three maternity leaves. So did millions of other women. What makes you think you are so special?

oh yes. all working women who believe in better parental leave/rights should just move away, rather than advocate for change.

You've got about as much maternity leave as you are going to get which is still a lot better than it was. We've been through this before. I don't want to pay taxes t 60% so you can spend a year at home with your child and I don't think many other taxpayers would want to do this either. Pre- and post-natal care is available to all women, even the poorest, subsidized by the taxpayer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You've got about as much maternity leave as you are going to get which is still a lot better than it was. We've been through this before. I don't want to pay taxes t 60% so you can spend a year at home with your child and I don't think many other taxpayers would want to do this either. Pre- and post-natal care is available to all women, even the poorest, subsidized by the taxpayer.

Are you posting at work? Cut it out. Those are my tax dollars. I'd rather they go for sane family leave policies.

[Anonymous]

OP, just chiming in to offer you some support. Wish we had more "work to live" types in this area! The narrow focus on work is really tiresome.

[Anonymous]

Become a Fed.

I went through same thing after DD was born. At that time I worked for a Fortune 50 company (too big to fail). The pressure to produce was tremendous. Now I work for the Fed. Most weeks, I put in 35 hours, including lunch. Down side is that my skills are atrophying. But a small sacrifice, bc I get to pick her up early at daycare, and see her smiling face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Become a Fed.

I went through same thing after DD was born. At that time I worked for a Fortune 50 company (too big to fail). The pressure to produce was tremendous. Now I work for the Fed. Most weeks, I put in 35 hours, including lunch. Down side is that my skills are atrophying. But a small sacrifice, bc I get to pick her up early at daycare, and see her smiling face.

PP, you aren't giving the Fed. workforce (women) a very good name. You took the job because it is mind-numbingly dull, but you get paid to leave early to pick up your kid. Surely, all of us who pay taxes for your salary deserve better and more dedicated employees than you. You prove what I have always believed that you could indiscriminately fire one in every three Federal employees in this area, never miss them, and save a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

hmmm, is this the fed vs all the other people who work SO HARD debate?

most feds i know pull their weight. i work nights and weekends as necessary and needed. seriously, give me a break with all this lazy fed nonsense. our infrastructure would fall apart without many of these individuals - doctors, soldiers, folks who protect your civil rights so that you can disparage the very people who protect your civil rights on this board.

[Anonymous]

Suck it up, quit crying like a little girl, and do your job. You give women a bad name, acting like such a baby. You are just pregnant. Not ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hmmm, is this the fed vs all the other people who work SO HARD debate?

most feds i know pull their weight. i work nights and weekends as necessary and needed. seriously, give me a break with all this lazy fed nonsense. our infrastructure would fall apart without many of these individuals - doctors, soldiers, folks who protect your civil rights so that you can disparage the very people who protect your civil rights on this board.

I'm commenting on the PP (you?) who said she took a Fed job so she could leave early to pick up her child. As a child of a man who served his country honorably in the US Air Force for over 30 years, I hardly think I would disparage soldiers, diplomatic corps, police, fire fighters, whatever. I am disparaging anyone who takes a Fed job so they can slack off early to pick up their kid and brag about doing so. This doesn't seem to me to be a person dedicated to doing anything but thinking of themselves and how they can profit from milking the Fed system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suck it up, quit crying like a little girl, and do your job. You give women a bad name, acting like such a baby. You are just pregnant. Not ill.

And, unless you were raped, you chose to get pregnant. Suck it up, quit bellyaching and whining, and do your job or get fired because you refuse to do your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hmmm, is this the fed vs all the other people who work SO HARD debate?

most feds i know pull their weight. i work nights and weekends as necessary and needed. seriously, give me a break with all this lazy fed nonsense. our infrastructure would fall apart without many of these individuals - doctors, soldiers, folks who protect your civil rights so that you can disparage the very people who protect your civil rights on this board.

I'm commenting on the PP (you?) who said she took a Fed job so she could leave early to pick up her child. As a child of a man who served his country honorably in the US Air Force for over 30 years, I hardly think I would disparage soldiers, diplomatic corps, police, fire fighters, whatever. I am disparaging anyone who takes a Fed job so they can slack off early to pick up their kid and brag about doing so. This doesn't seem to me to be a person dedicated to doing anything but thinking of themselves and how they can profit from milking the Fed system.

no i was not the pp - clearly if i work nights and weekends i am
not leaving early to pick up my child.