Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me

[Anonymous]

Omg I once knew a woman who would tell me I was not invited to things. “Oh yeah, just so you know, Wendy’s memorial service is next week and the kids aren’t invited just you know, no kids are invited” or “just so you know Darla’s bridal shower is next week and it’s a really small affair and you know, just a few women are invited”. It was truly bizarre as I had 1. never tried to invite myself or kids to any event related to her and 2. didn’t know either of the event hosts and would not expect to go and 3. barely know this woman. Some people were not socialized as children and it shows!

[Anonymous]

Most men don’t think this much about random people who they aren’t sleeping with. She has the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Julia, you keep mentioning that your husband doesn’t like me. Are you trying to tell me that you don’t like me? I can’t figure out why you are being so unkind and rude.”

This is a fine response but takes a lot of courage to deliver well! Honestly I read it as - she really likes you and her husband really doesn’t and she feels weird about that.

So it’s better for this weirdo to keep saying these things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her that's not what he says to you and then walk away

DO THIS!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg I once knew a woman who would tell me I was not invited to things. “Oh yeah, just so you know, Wendy’s memorial service is next week and the kids aren’t invited just you know, no kids are invited” or “just so you know Darla’s bridal shower is next week and it’s a really small affair and you know, just a few women are invited”. It was truly bizarre as I had 1. never tried to invite myself or kids to any event related to her and 2. didn’t know either of the event hosts and would not expect to go and 3. barely know this woman. Some people were not socialized as children and it shows!

THIS is my biggest trigger!! Being indirectly accused of something that is out of left field. That is the kind of thing that lives rent free in my head for days. Why does this lady think that of me? What did I do to make her think that?? Does she think that or am I just reading into the repeated statements that I wanted something or did something I never considered

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say

I am confused and don't understand what you mean

Make her clarify

Yep.

[Anonymous]

"That's really none of my business"

I had a friend who HAD to tell me about little comments her husband made where the theme was that I was hot to trot/I liked dick/I was a swinger/etc. I'm happily married, not banging other people or talking about banging other people and I like my hubby's dick.

It was really weird and I started to say "and you are ok with him saying these things?" and she'd sort of smile and shrug. It started to dawn on me how quiet her husband actually was when we saw him socially- so if he was getting any read on me, it was coming from her- if he was even saying these things at all. I finally just started saying "well-it's your marriage- if you don't mind him saying dirty things about me- but you should keep it to yourself". She finally stopped but I really think it was coming from her- not him. I think the same in your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In my 30s, I'd have felt bad. Now I'm in my 40s, I would take malicious pleasure in drawing her out and making her explain herself and seeing what sort of nonsense comes out...

I'm a lot older than you and this is the tack I would take also.

The first time she did this, she'd get the side eye. The second time she did this, I'd stare at her wide eyed. The third time, I'd start having fun with her.

I’m in my thirties but more mature than you. I would understand that something is wrong with this woman and would politely end the conversation and leave.

Not more mature. More boring (not PP, by the way).

+1. You can either have fun with it or live in the same world with the same amount of @ssholes and less fun. Easy choice.

[Anonymous]

There is a mom that is an acquaintance who is sort of weird that way to me. She is late 40s and pretty unattractive in the face, and has no style, always dressed plainer than plain, or in outdated looks (think skinny jeans and riding boots with a sweater that looks straight out of 2010) though she is skinny, which many consider attractive. Her husband is a decade younger, and while I don’t particularly find him attractive, objectively, I can admit he’s decent looking and reasonably fit. He works in sales and has a chatty, alpha male sales type personality. She is a quiet mouse.

She thinks that everyone is always flirting with her husband and constantly makes snide remarks about these other mothers at school. I realized that those are all the women her husband chats up the most and she’s insecure about it.

I bet this woman is similar OP.

[Anonymous]

I think she’s just…weird. Some people are just strange.

I would not confront - you said she’s just an acquaintance, so who cares what she or her husband think. Not worth trying to unravel her/their dysfunction. I would just avoid, & if you get stuck with her, laugh it off & say “oh, Derek is so funny!” & gee away as soon as possible. Who cares what she or her husband talk about, no one is interested.