Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me

[Anonymous]

I would just ignore her and avoid her. Who needs that crap. If you see them say hi and move along.

[Anonymous]

I think the next time she makes a comment like that, just look at her blankly and say, "so?"

[Anonymous]

Tell her that's not what he says to you and then walk away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this is the right forum. There is a woman that I know from my kid’s school and who I see at soccer practices and other social events. Not really a friend but we have a number of mutual friends.

She’s nice enough to me but literally every time we talk, she finds a way to tell me her husband has some kind of issue with me. Really strange things, like “he’s not sure what to think of you since you mentioned you really like such and such a music genre” or “he knew you’d be at XYZ event and actually mentioned he was going to avoid it” and then abruptly change the topic.

It’s SO bizarre. The guy himself is fine, nothing antsy or rude or weird, he’s very friendly if anything.

Not sure if she ever does this to other women, if she does I haven’t seen it. I feel like saying something to call her on it but idk what I’m really dealing with here. On my end there’s no problem, but he or they seem to really have some issue with me.

I think her DH has a thing for you, which is why he mentions you to her, often derisively to throw her off from realizing he has a crush. She seems to understand something is going on on his end and it makes her nervous so she blabs to you, trying to convince herself he hates when you she knows that’s not really the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sees you at a threat.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if this is the right forum. There is a woman that I know from my kid’s school and who I see at soccer practices and other social events. Not really a friend but we have a number of mutual friends.

She’s nice enough to me but literally every time we talk, she finds a way to tell me her husband has some kind of issue with me. Really strange things, like “he’s not sure what to think of you since you mentioned you really like such and such a music genre” or “he knew you’d be at XYZ event and actually mentioned he was going to avoid it” and then abruptly change the topic.

It’s SO bizarre. The guy himself is fine, nothing antsy or rude or weird, he’s very friendly if anything.

Not sure if she ever does this to other women, if she does I haven’t seen it. I feel like saying something to call her on it but idk what I’m really dealing with here. On my end there’s no problem, but he or they seem to really have some issue with me.

I think her DH has a thing for you, which is why he mentions you to her, often derisively to throw her off from realizing he has a crush. She seems to understand something is going on on his end and it makes her nervous so she blabs to you, trying to convince herself he hates when you she knows that’s not really the case.

I think you’re giving the wife too much credit. If the husband wanted to throw her off, he wouldn’t say anything at all to her about OP.

He said something nice about the OP, either because he’s clueless and doesn’t see the problem with that or because he’s abusive knew it would bother his wife. I tend to go with the former because wife’s response to OP indicates that she’s the abusive one here. If she were a nice woman, she wouldn’t let anything slip to OP and would probably just avoid her altogether.

If I were OP, I’d steer clear of this couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sees you at a threat.

BINGO. Her DH has taken an interest in you, or your various interests, and he brings it up to her.

She is proactively gaslighting you into thinking her DH does not like you, so you withdrawal from him/around him and don't bring up any more cool interests or places he might just happen to bump into you. That said, I would keep HER at arm's length.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just ignore her and avoid her. Who needs that crap. If you see them say hi and move along.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just ignore her and avoid her. Who needs that crap. If you see them say hi and move along.

This.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In my 30s, I'd have felt bad. Now I'm in my 40s, I would take malicious pleasure in drawing her out and making her explain herself and seeing what sort of nonsense comes out...

I'm a lot older than you and this is the tack I would take also.

The first time she did this, she'd get the side eye. The second time she did this, I'd stare at her wide eyed. The third time, I'd start having fun with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In my 30s, I'd have felt bad. Now I'm in my 40s, I would take malicious pleasure in drawing her out and making her explain herself and seeing what sort of nonsense comes out...

I'm a lot older than you and this is the tack I would take also.

The first time she did this, she'd get the side eye. The second time she did this, I'd stare at her wide eyed. The third time, I'd start having fun with her.

I’m in my thirties but more mature than you. I would understand that something is wrong with this woman and would politely end the conversation and leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In my 30s, I'd have felt bad. Now I'm in my 40s, I would take malicious pleasure in drawing her out and making her explain herself and seeing what sort of nonsense comes out...

I'm a lot older than you and this is the tack I would take also.

The first time she did this, she'd get the side eye. The second time she did this, I'd stare at her wide eyed. The third time, I'd start having fun with her.

I’m in my thirties but more mature than you. I would understand that something is wrong with this woman and would politely end the conversation and leave.

Not more mature. More boring (not PP, by the way).

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what this woman or her DH are up to but I wouldn't bother figuring it out. I would just avoid both of them. Is there some reason you keep ending up in conversation with her? I would think after two of these encounters, you would just steer clear.

[Anonymous]

I had an acquaintance who did this. It bothered me until I realized she was either 1. Jealous of me 2. Her husband was saying things about me to her. And then I just felt bad for her. I can't imagine how poorly she must have been feeling to feel like she had to say those things to me. The weird part is I rarely saw him or talked to him for more than a few minutes. Dh was the one who talked to him a lot because of a niche shared interest.

I just started avoiding her. DH would do things with her husband and the kids

[Anonymous]

I would say

I am confused and don't understand what you mean

Make her clarify