Notify party host I will bring extra kid (pay privately) or not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your other kid can get a ride home from the game or go home with a friend for awhile. A 9 yr old doesn’t belong at a preschool party

+1
Send your 9 year old home w/ a teammate or send your 5 year old with a preschool
Classmate to the party. A 9 year old doesn’t belong at a preschool party

+1 it’s so annoying to see these older kids at preschool places. Yeah he’s not part of the party, but what if he’s thirsty or hungry and just happens to be near for food room? Host will look rude if she doesn’t offer him anything and now she may not have enough food. He can be dropped off at home with your “working on a weekend” husband and you can be a bit late to the party. But absolutely do not bring your older kid. Lame AF.

[Anonymous]

OP - if you show up with your older kid unannounced I can guarantee your other child won’t be invited to the party next year. I made a point to not invite people who sprung extra guests rudely on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your other kid can get a ride home from the game or go home with a friend for awhile. A 9 yr old doesn’t belong at a preschool party

+1
Send your 9 year old home w/ a teammate or send your 5 year old with a preschool
Classmate to the party. A 9 year old doesn’t belong at a preschool party

+1 it’s so annoying to see these older kids at preschool places. Yeah he’s not part of the party, but what if he’s thirsty or hungry and just happens to be near for food room? Host will look rude if she doesn’t offer him anything and now she may not have enough food. He can be dropped off at home with your “working on a weekend” husband and you can be a bit late to the party. But absolutely do not bring your older kid. Lame AF.

+3 this is the way to go. Make a deal where your DS goes home with a teammate and you drive/host the teammate another time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have decided to just not to say anything in advance and just pay for his admission. They both have been there a few times before, and I don't need to watch him. He knows where to find me. It is the 5 year old that I need to take her to use bathroom, wash hands and make sure that she is safe.

Rude and bizarre but you do you

What? Not rude at all.
This is what a normal person would do. She doesn’t need to get the host’s permission to take a child to the play place. He isn’t part of the party- and she isn’t making him part of the party. There is zero issue here

A normal person doesn't bring a much older kid to a preschool party and then demand he play alone. Why would a kid want to do that anyway? Have dad pick him up (working from home on a zoom call the entire time? yeah, right!) or send him from the game with a friend.

[Anonymous]

Make other arrangements for your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You text them and say “Hey, I will need to have DS with us, is that okay? Obviously we will pay for his admission”

Someone did this for my kid’s birthday and it was fine. I was even able to scrape together an extra goodie bag for the sibling.

See, I would be like you, but DCUm is full of people ready to take offense at anything. path of least resistance: just show up, pay, and make sure extra kid avoids the party room.

This.

I wouldn't bother texting or making their lives complicated. Just drop your kid, pay for him and go back and forth. Don't make them feel obligated to extend an invite

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - if you show up with your older kid unannounced I can guarantee your other child won’t be invited to the party next year. I made a point to not invite people who sprung extra guests rudely on me.

OP is fine if she pays for her older kid and tells him to not go to the party room, no cake and favors etc. It's a public space. There will be so many other kids there. Do you think the other people's kids are springing up to get your dry cake and cheap favors?

[Anonymous]

Op here. It is an indoor playground good till age 13 something like that. Both of my kids come to this place before a few weeks ago, and they have a blast. We eat pizza all the time, he does not care about the kid goody bag & he won't die without eating pizza & cake there. I am not close to other team player's families, I am not going to ask anyone favor to drive him home. If I text the host, I know that the host is highly covering for his admission fee. I have seen families bring a family of 4 or 5 (like extea kid, both parents or grandparent) to birthday party, I don't want to be one of those families.

[Anonymous]

Your 9yo is going to be bored at the indoor play place. He will want pizza and cake. Sure, you can pack food for him, but your daughter's hosts will see it, feel awkward, and offer the party food while they quietly seethe about the huge boy who's knocking into the little ones in the bounce house and eating all the pizza.

Just have him get a ride home from the game with a teammate. Or ask another parent (not the host) to keep an eye on your daughter while you run him home.

Bringing him is probably the least attractive of your options.

[Anonymous]

Have a discussion. Horrors! an actual conversation with another parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have decided to just not to say anything in advance and just pay for his admission. They both have been there a few times before, and I don't need to watch him. He knows where to find me. It is the 5 year old that I need to take her to use bathroom, wash hands and make sure that she is safe.

Rude and bizarre but you do you

What? Not rude at all.
This is what a normal person would do. She doesn’t need to get the host’s permission to take a child to the play place. He isn’t part of the party- and she isn’t making him part of the party. There is zero issue here

A normal person doesn't bring a much older kid to a preschool party and then demand he play alone. Why would a kid want to do that anyway? Have dad pick him up (working from home on a zoom call the entire time? yeah, right!) or send him from the game with a friend.

This is a public indoor play place with plenty of other kids not part of the party, of different ages, there to play. OPs kid isn’t attending the party. Why is this hard to understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is an indoor playground good till age 13 something like that. Both of my kids come to this place before a few weeks ago, and they have a blast. We eat pizza all the time, he does not care about the kid goody bag & he won't die without eating pizza & cake there. I am not close to other team player's families, I am not going to ask anyone favor to drive him home. If I text the host, I know that the host is highly covering for his admission fee. I have seen families bring a family of 4 or 5 (like extea kid, both parents or grandparent) to birthday party, I don't want to be one of those families.

It’s fine to bring him and let him do his own thing, while you stay with the younger child at the party. Don’t listen to the crazy people here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. It is an indoor playground good till age 13 something like that. Both of my kids come to this place before a few weeks ago, and they have a blast. We eat pizza all the time, he does not care about the kid goody bag & he won't die without eating pizza & cake there. I am not close to other team player's families, I am not going to ask anyone favor to drive him home. If I text the host, I know that the host is highly covering for his admission fee. I have seen families bring a family of 4 or 5 (like extea kid, both parents or grandparent) to birthday party, I don't want to be one of those families.

Just say you really want your kid to go, not miss out, and you don't like to tell him no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I have decided to just not to say anything in advance and just pay for his admission. They both have been there a few times before, and I don't need to watch him. He knows where to find me. It is the 5 year old that I need to take her to use bathroom, wash hands and make sure that she is safe.

Rude and bizarre but you do you

What? Not rude at all.
This is what a normal person would do. She doesn’t need to get the host’s permission to take a child to the play place. He isn’t part of the party- and she isn’t making him part of the party. There is zero issue here

A normal person doesn't bring a much older kid to a preschool party and then demand he play alone. Why would a kid want to do that anyway? Have dad pick him up (working from home on a zoom call the entire time? yeah, right!) or send him from the game with a friend.

This is a public indoor play place with plenty of other kids not part of the party, of different ages, there to play. OPs kid isn’t attending the party. Why is this hard to understand?

If it's so obvious and acceptable, why ask the question at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD has a birthday invite, and we have rsvp 1 kid + 1 child. I just realize that DS has a game ended shortly before the birthday party start time. If I need to drop him off back at home, I will be rushing like crazy back and off to attend the party. DH will be working at home with meeting , that's why he can't help out.

It is a public birthday indoor playground venue. I am thinking to pay DS to get in to play, then I don't have to rush home. He does not really want to interact with other younger kids like DD's friends who are 4 years younger than him. Out of manner, do I really have to let the host in advance that I will pay my son to be there privately to play? Other families will see him being there. They look so similar. If I text message host, they may want to cover him out of being nice or obligation. I can afford to get my DS in. I prefer to just notify host at the party once after I pay him to get him inside. He does not need to eat their food since I can feed him with snacks. Is that okay?

I am in the camp of 1) tell the mom or dad ahead of time and 2) obviously pay and tell her you will pay. I had a friend host a party at a jump place once and she had a few non shows/ sick kids so was under the required count. A parent brought an older kid and didn't tell her and just paid- my friend was able to get her a refund and include the other child in the party count since she had already paid for x number of kids.

I have hosted different types of parties where I wouldn't mind if the parent brought an extra kid. The exception would be a place where the party has the whole venue rented out- eg Silver Stars, Pump it Up since you can't add a kid without that person being part of the group.