Notify party host I will bring extra kid (pay privately) or not

[Anonymous]

Well I would make it clear that you kid is just there to play separately (that you will pay for) so the host doesn't think your kid will be in the party room, eating food, cake and expecting a goody bag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your other kid can get a ride home from the game or go home with a friend for awhile. A 9 yr old doesn’t belong at a preschool party

It sounds like it’s a public play place so there likely are already going to be 9 year olds there.

I’ve had to bring a sibling in the past. I emailed the host a heads up that in order to bring my invited child, I’d also have to bring a sibling along, but we would pay separately and my older child would do their own thing separate of the party. Turns out the host had an older child the same age as mine (and they knew each other from school) so they were like that bring him, [birthday boy]’s older brother will be glad to have another same aged kid to play with. The host paid his admission ahead of time, which was kind but totally unnecessary. I would have been happy to pay.

If it were a privately rented venue like Little Gym where it was *only* younger kids there though we probably would have skipped the party since I didn’t have childcare for my older kid. Or I’d make my 9 y/o come along and sit on the outside of the little kid activity with a book or iPad. Not sure why anyone would care about that. He would understand he isn’t a party guest and would not expect cake or anything from the little kids.

Here come the excuses. Obviously you don’t want other solutions you all just want reassurances that what you’re going to do anyway is ok. Don’t even try to find a ride for the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your other kid can get a ride home from the game or go home with a friend for awhile. A 9 yr old doesn’t belong at a preschool party

It sounds like it’s a public play place so there likely are already going to be 9 year olds there.

I’ve had to bring a sibling in the past. I emailed the host a heads up that in order to bring my invited child, I’d also have to bring a sibling along, but we would pay separately and my older child would do their own thing separate of the party. Turns out the host had an older child the same age as mine (and they knew each other from school) so they were like that bring him, [birthday boy]’s older brother will be glad to have another same aged kid to play with. The host paid his admission ahead of time, which was kind but totally unnecessary. I would have been happy to pay.

If it were a privately rented venue like Little Gym where it was *only* younger kids there though we probably would have skipped the party since I didn’t have childcare for my older kid. Or I’d make my 9 y/o come along and sit on the outside of the little kid activity with a book or iPad. Not sure why anyone would care about that. He would understand he isn’t a party guest and would not expect cake or anything from the little kids.

Here come the excuses. Obviously you don’t want other solutions you all just want reassurances that what you’re going to do anyway is ok. Don’t even try to find a ride for the kid.

I don’t think PP is attending the party, so no excuses are required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your other kid can get a ride home from the game or go home with a friend for awhile. A 9 yr old doesn’t belong at a preschool party

It sounds like it’s a public play place so there likely are already going to be 9 year olds there.

I’ve had to bring a sibling in the past. I emailed the host a heads up that in order to bring my invited child, I’d also have to bring a sibling along, but we would pay separately and my older child would do their own thing separate of the party. Turns out the host had an older child the same age as mine (and they knew each other from school) so they were like that bring him, [birthday boy]’s older brother will be glad to have another same aged kid to play with. The host paid his admission ahead of time, which was kind but totally unnecessary. I would have been happy to pay.

If it were a privately rented venue like Little Gym where it was *only* younger kids there though we probably would have skipped the party since I didn’t have childcare for my older kid. Or I’d make my 9 y/o come along and sit on the outside of the little kid activity with a book or iPad. Not sure why anyone would care about that. He would understand he isn’t a party guest and would not expect cake or anything from the little kids.

Here come the excuses. Obviously you don’t want other solutions you all just want reassurances that what you’re going to do anyway is ok. Don’t even try to find a ride for the kid.

I don’t think PP is attending the party, so no excuses are required.

Thats why i said all. Its a lazy and predictable mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You text them and say “Hey, I will need to have DS with us, is that okay? Obviously we will pay for his admission”

Someone did this for my kid’s birthday and it was fine. I was even able to scrape together an extra goodie bag for the sibling.

I would insist on paying if someone sent me that and I was hosting.

This.
Just show up and pay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you tell the hosts in advance you’re doing better than half the families who came to my kid’s birthday party at a trampoline park and brought the whole damn family lol. (Yes they did pay separate for each kid, but we didn’t have enough pizza because we got about 50% more guests than we were expecting!) It’s fairly expected at these types of parties but good communication is very helpful.

So rude of the “guests”—they should not have joined in on the pizza part with their extra unexpected attendees

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you tell the hosts in advance you’re doing better than half the families who came to my kid’s birthday party at a trampoline park and brought the whole damn family lol. (Yes they did pay separate for each kid, but we didn’t have enough pizza because we got about 50% more guests than we were expecting!) It’s fairly expected at these types of parties but good communication is very helpful.

So rude of the “guests”—they should not have joined in on the pizza part with their extra unexpected attendees

I will bet they also elbowed their way to the front of the line ahead of invited guests.

[Anonymous]

People are WAY uptight on this issue here, OP. Bring him, pay for him, don’t mention it. It is a public place, this is no big deal.

[Anonymous]

I've done this before but didn't alert the host in advance. I just showed up and paid for my other kid (and didn't bring the uninvited kid into the party area; bought him his own snacks).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I would make it clear that you kid is just there to play separately (that you will pay for) so the host doesn't think your kid will be in the party room, eating food, cake and expecting a goody bag.

Unnecessary. Bringing it up is making a big deal out of nothing, and actually puts more pressure on host to feel obligated to include. Show up, pay for sibling, they play independently of party. If host notices and says he is welcome to come in to party room and join for pizza and cake, just say no thank you, he is going to stay in the play part.

[Anonymous]

Take your kid there, pay, then go in an let the host know that you brought your kid with you and have already paid for him. Also say you will feed him but again don't worry about food/cake even if he goes there to sing Happy Birthday. At every single birthday party, i have seen food going waste at the end. Typically kids eat 1 slice of pizza and 1 cupcake.. at the max 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are WAY uptight on this issue here, OP. Bring him, pay for him, don’t mention it. It is a public place, this is no big deal.

Mention it. If there is a goody bag, which I don’t do, I’d make an extra and feed the kid. I’d be annoyed you did not tell me so I could have enough food.

[Anonymous]

I would not let her know. She will feel obligated to pay and have your son in the party room. Just pay for him and keep him in the play area when it’s cake time.

[Anonymous]

I think it's better for OP to give the host a heads up, rather than show up and give them a moment of panic that they'll need to deal with an extra guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You text them and say “Hey, I will need to have DS with us, is that okay? Obviously we will pay for his admission”

Someone did this for my kid’s birthday and it was fine. I was even able to scrape together an extra goodie bag for the sibling.

See, I would be like you, but DCUm is full of people ready to take offense at anything. path of least resistance: just show up, pay, and make sure extra kid avoids the party room.

+1 If the hosts realize your son is there, make it clear that he’s not joining the party and just wants to bounce/climb/throw axes, etc.