Notify party host I will bring extra kid (pay privately) or not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You text them and say “Hey, I will need to have DS with us, is that okay? Obviously we will pay for his admission”

Someone did this for my kid’s birthday and it was fine. I was even able to scrape together an extra goodie bag for the sibling.

This is perfect. I am a single mom and I was in this situation a lot. It's fine.

[Anonymous]

No need to inform ahead of time (agree that it can make a conscientious host feel like they should offer to pay and just creates weirdness). Day of when coming in mention it (as others have said sometimes there was a last minute cancellation and it's nice for that not to be completely wasted). I would 100% prefer someone bringing their 9 year old to a public place than dropping off a 5 year old at a place like that. Have no intention to bring the older sibling to the party room but again as others have said, there is often so much food waste - use your judgement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Correction, i have rsvp " 1 kid + 1 adult". That's what I meant.

I just want to confirm that it is not rude to bring extra kid to public venue if he avoids the party room & I pay his admission fee. He may interact with his sister there, but he definitely has no interests interacting with his sister's classmates. He does not need the goodie bag, that saves host troubles.

Yes, it is considered rude.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine to bring him but I do think the host will feel obligated to pay for him if you mention it in advance. Is there a way to buy tickets online ahead of time? If so, maybe let them know he will be there with you, will not attend the party and you've already bought his ticket so they won't feel like they have to pay.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need to mention it in advance? What do you want the host to do with the information? If it's a public venue, just bring your kid along and have him do things separately.

[Anonymous]

I did this just a week or so ago. 3 year olds bday party at an indoor play space. Needed to bring my 8 year old because husband was out of town and his playdate fell through. I didn’t say anything, I just showed up and paid for him and told him he couldn’t unfortunately go into the party room for cake he’d have to stay out and play and I’d get him lunch at home later. I knew if I’d told the host she’d have felt obligated to include him, so I didn’t. I don’t think she noticed he was there at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Correction, i have rsvp " 1 kid + 1 adult". That's what I meant.

I just want to confirm that it is not rude to bring extra kid to public venue if he avoids the party room & I pay his admission fee. He may interact with his sister there, but he definitely has no interests interacting with his sister's classmates. He does not need the goodie bag, that saves host troubles.

Yes, it is considered rude.

Omg
Stop. It’s not any more rude than the other uninvited party guests being there- aka the rest of the kids at the PUBLIC PLAY AREA. If the other kid doesn’t participate in the party then how is it rude?

[Anonymous]

This doesn’t make sense. You can’t watch a five and nine year old in different areas at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This doesn’t make sense. You can’t watch a five and nine year old in different areas at the same time.

She's not going to watch either of them. The 9 yr old will be on his own with no friends in a public play area and OP will chat with other parents ignoring both of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This doesn’t make sense. You can’t watch a five and nine year old in different areas at the same time.

A 9 year old does not need to be watched.

[Anonymous]

Don't let him go into the party room. The host will feel obligated to feed him, give him cake and a goody bag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DOn't say anything. Just go and pay. Maybe he can bring a friend you can also pay for, but otherwise, it's fine.

+1. otherwise it puts pressure on the host to get another goody bag, offer to pay, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This doesn’t make sense. You can’t watch a five and nine year old in different areas at the same time.

A 9 year old does not need to be watched.

I have a one and wouldn’t leave them by themselves in public venue. That’s bananas.

[Anonymous]

I would not say anything in advance. Just keep your child separate from the party kids and the cake room. Otherwise it would make the host feel uncomfortable like she needs to add an invite.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I have decided to just not to say anything in advance and just pay for his admission. They both have been there a few times before, and I don't need to watch him. He knows where to find me. It is the 5 year old that I need to take her to use bathroom, wash hands and make sure that she is safe.