Mom Cliques. I had no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not want to be with 15 moms at a winery- sounds annoying

I feel this is the best possible takeaway from the thread. I don't want to do anything with 15 women, even if I individually like every single one of them. I'm a small group or 1:1 person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not want to be with 15 moms at a winery- sounds annoying

I feel this is the best possible takeaway from the thread. I don't want to do anything with 15 women, even if I individually like every single one of them. I'm a small group or 1:1 person.

Word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

DP. This an internet forum. That’s the whole point. People post. Others react, discuss, dissect, ridicule. Don’t post words here if you don’t want people to react to them.

The same goes for all of you armchair psychologist way over reaching in your analysis and reactions to the OP. The negative reactions you are receiving, aka the backlash Jeff referred to, are well deserved.

That’s fine. Doesn’t bother me one bit. (Nor would seeing 15 moms having lunch at a winery.)

LMAO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

DP. This an internet forum. That’s the whole point. People post. Others react, discuss, dissect, ridicule. Don’t post words here if you don’t want people to react to them.

The same goes for all of you armchair psychologist way over reaching in your analysis and reactions to the OP. The negative reactions you are receiving, aka the backlash Jeff referred to, are well deserved.

That’s fine. Doesn’t bother me one bit. (Nor would seeing 15 moms having lunch at a winery.)

LMAO

OP, is that you? Still LYAO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

DP. This an internet forum. That’s the whole point. People post. Others react, discuss, dissect, ridicule. Don’t post words here if you don’t want people to react to them.

The same goes for all of you armchair psychologist way over reaching in your analysis and reactions to the OP. The negative reactions you are receiving, aka the backlash Jeff referred to, are well deserved.

That’s fine. Doesn’t bother me one bit. (Nor would seeing 15 moms having lunch at a winery.)

LMAO

OP, is that you? Still LYAO?

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

DP. This an internet forum. That’s the whole point. People post. Others react, discuss, dissect, ridicule. Don’t post words here if you don’t want people to react to them.

The same goes for all of you armchair psychologist way over reaching in your analysis and reactions to the OP. The negative reactions you are receiving, aka the backlash Jeff referred to, are well deserved.

Wait, who is Jeff

[Anonymous]

I think all the 15 women defending themselves should begin discussing Jeff now....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

DP. This an internet forum. That’s the whole point. People post. Others react, discuss, dissect, ridicule. Don’t post words here if you don’t want people to react to them.

The same goes for all of you armchair psychologist way over reaching in your analysis and reactions to the OP. The negative reactions you are receiving, aka the backlash Jeff referred to, are well deserved.

Wait, who is Jeff

DCUM’s owner. Here’s what he wrote about this thread:

“ Next was a thread titled, "Mom Cliques. I had no idea." which was posted in the "Elementary School-Aged Kids" forum. The original poster said that she ran into about 15 moms from her child's elementary school having drinks and appetizers at a local winery on Friday. She said the group seemed uncomfortable seeing her there and that she later texted one of the moms saying that she didn't realize that there were invite-only Friday gatherings. She concludes by saying that bus stop interactions should be interesting now and asks others to share their "mom clique story". The immediate reaction from those responding was not to share stories, but rather to attack the original poster. She was accused of unnecessarily making things awkward, stirring up drama, and generally being the one who was wrong in this situation. Several posters defended the right of the other moms to gather without inviting the original poster. The original poster jumped into remind everyone that she wasn't asking for opinions, but rather their stories about mom cliques. However this only served to increase the criticism of her. The thread basically consists of everyone's reactions to the original poster, who is described as "petty", "tacky", "unpleasant", and a host of other names. It is almost as if the entire DCUM had turned into a mom's clique and was determined to ostracize the original poster. The attacks on the original poster reached the point that they generated their own backlash. As one poster wrote, "But it should be obvious that many of these responses are actually emblematic of clique, ‘mean girl’ behavior that SOME women love to engage in. People ripping OP apart, saying she was excluded because she's horrible...it's just a typical mean girl response". But this had little effect and the criticism of the original poster continued. For her part, the original poster may have been a little deflated by the response, but she didn't back down. Nevertheless, she failed to convince most of the posters that the women had acted inappropriately or even consisted of a "clique" at all. From my vantage point, after reading most of the posts in this thread, it looks that what the original poster encountered was less a clique and more a collection of members of overlapping social groups. While a few of the women may have been the original poster's "mom friends", it appears that most were not. As a result, the original poster likely misinterpreted the situation and her reaction was probably overly strong. But the reaction of most of the posters, who appeared almost rabid in their eagerness to attack the original poster, was far more overdone. So, for the most part, the original objective of the original poster was not met. Even the one "mom clique" story that I noticed went largely unremarked upon other then for another poster to call that mom a "catty rich witch". It appears that like fight clubs, the first rule of mom cliques is to not talk about mom cliques.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of what the full details of the scenario actually were, it boils down to this:

If your first reaction was judgment rather than empathy, or at least sympathy, you are a part of the "Mean Girl" stereotype.

I understand that some PPs were rude in their delivery, but why wouldn't it make OP feel BETTER, not worse, to know that the majority of those hearing about this encounter, including Jeff, do NOT think these women were a clique, mean, or exclusionary?

But a few were really rabid about it, created massive analyses about OP’s character and experience.

Probably because of OP’s delivery! LMAO! They felt soo awkward about it! Bus stop will be INTERESTING! Emoji!
Why so brash? And how can OP know how they felt? What sane person would text a follow up?

I mean, I hope OP is trolling, or maybe had the experience but is being tongue in cheek, but ugh.

The irony of you drawing all kinds of conclusions about OP based on word choice in a brief DCUM post, but then claiming that OP could not possibly intuit whether there was an awkward vibe based on an in person interaction with women she knows/has met before. You and so many others are acting like you know everything about OP's character based on a few posts here, but when she says "they looked uber awkward" you're freaking out and saying she couldn't possibly KNOW that and what is her evidence.

No. I'm permitted to bring both common sense and my life experiences to interpret OP's or any other post. All signs point to OP being socially inept and immature and her therefore misinterpreting the situation and/or creating the awkwardness herself.

(Also, even if there was some palpable awkwardness it still does not mean these women are a clique or that OP was excluded.)

You are filtering very little info through your own biases. And if you are defending being unkind on the internet and tearing down OP because you deem her immature or socially inept, well, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Mean and immature on your part.

DP. I’ve read and reread the OP at least 5 times now, trying really hard to understand what some of you are trying to defend, and each time she sounds worse and worse. She might be a lovely person in real life and is just not good at relaying a story, but as far as this thread goes, her choice of words just don’t make a great case for her. If that makes me mean and immature, so be it.

And it's not just her word choice. It's the actual FACTS we have -- the number of women, how well they do or do not know OP, the SAHM thing...OP did not supply any info to support a clique. I didn't like the nastiness and rudeness either. But no one is a "mean girl" simply for not validating OP's take here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think all the 15 women defending themselves should begin discussing Jeff now....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think all the 15 women defending themselves should begin discussing Jeff now....

Jeff, unlike the OP, understands what a clique is. So there's that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP's text was bad form (why reveal that it bothered you?! Just act like you don't care and move on!) BUT I do think it was a bit clique-y because of the number of moms. A group of 15 is huge. If OP knew all or most of the mons, and they were all mons from the same school, it is a bit clique-y to do something that big and not invite OP.

Sure, maybe the organizer doesn't know OP, but if other people there do, it's a little surprising that none of them said anything to her. Indicating that the group or outing are at least somewhat exclusive, which is what a clique is.

How many kids are in your kids' grade? We have 80 at our private. 15/80 moms is not a huge group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think all the 15 women defending themselves should begin discussing Jeff now....

Jeff, unlike the OP, understands what a clique is. So there's that!

The question is, what would Jeff do if he goes to a brewery on a Friday, 1pm, and sees 15 dads having beer together. He would probably join in because the other dads would waive him in to sit with them...