Mom Cliques. I had no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worst part is OP its making it unnecessarily hard for her kid(s) to socialize. And even if your kids are prefectly nice, one wants to engage with the Red Flag Mama

Yup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP's text was bad form (why reveal that it bothered you?! Just act like you don't care and move on!) BUT I do think it was a bit clique-y because of the number of moms. A group of 15 is huge. If OP knew all or most of the mons, and they were all mons from the same school, it is a bit clique-y to do something that big and not invite OP.

Sure, maybe the organizer doesn't know OP, but if other people there do, it's a little surprising that none of them said anything to her. Indicating that the group or outing are at least somewhat exclusive, which is what a clique is.

Going out with mom friends/acquaintances is not the same as a clique. And you’re right that 15 is a lot of people. I went out with 14 other moms once, and we couldn’t add more because the restaurant had a limit on how many people a reservation could be for without booking a private room. I barely knew several of the moms. We were definitely not a clique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP's text was bad form (why reveal that it bothered you?! Just act like you don't care and move on!) BUT I do think it was a bit clique-y because of the number of moms. A group of 15 is huge. If OP knew all or most of the mons, and they were all mons from the same school, it is a bit clique-y to do something that big and not invite OP.

Sure, maybe the organizer doesn't know OP, but if other people there do, it's a little surprising that none of them said anything to her. Indicating that the group or outing are at least somewhat exclusive, which is what a clique is.

But where do you cut it off? 15 is already a big group. I’m sure every mom there knew other moms that weren’t there. You can’t take stuff like this personally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Here—I didn’t ask for your kind opinions on my mom clique story. Believe the post asks to share your favorite mom clique story.

Did you really think that the b-witches wouldn’t get triggered?

[Anonymous]

I could see this happening, I have friends from moms club that has overlaps with school pick up friends. While I like to be inclusive, do you know how everyone knows each other? Are you a working parent and would not obviously be off on a Friday? It’s also possible the organizer just forgot a number. Also, who were you out with?

[Anonymous]

What is the point of getting together with that many people? I have been to stuff like that and is not fun. To me anything more than 8 is too many, and I have a strong preference for 3-5 being the sweet spot.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like they didn't invite you because you are petty and mean and looking to criticize. This has probably come out before.

[Anonymous]

Do you really want to join the alcoholics / wine mom crew? Start drinking during business hours in front of some of them and maybe you'll get invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree OP's text was bad form (why reveal that it bothered you?! Just act like you don't care and move on!) BUT I do think it was a bit clique-y because of the number of moms. A group of 15 is huge. If OP knew all or most of the mons, and they were all mons from the same school, it is a bit clique-y to do something that big and not invite OP.

Sure, maybe the organizer doesn't know OP, but if other people there do, it's a little surprising that none of them said anything to her. Indicating that the group or outing are at least somewhat exclusive, which is what a clique is.

But where do you cut it off? 15 is already a big group. I’m sure every mom there knew other moms that weren’t there. You can’t take stuff like this personally

I agree you shouldn't take it personally. But I also think it's inevitable that an outing like that will make people feel left out because of the size. If it's a smaller group you can assume the plans came together organically between someons who were already friends. You might still feel left out but just in a normal way, like "I'd love to be friends with those women." Not like you've been excluded specifically.

With 15 moms, you know they aren't all close friends and some of them barely know each other. So it raises the question more of why you weren't invited. It feels more intentional. Or like you've been forgotten or overlooked. It's also more likely to have one organizer, or a small group of organizers, who selected the guest list and chose to leave some people out for whatever reason. As opposed to a group of friends who decided to hang out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you really want to join the alcoholics / wine mom crew? Start drinking during business hours in front of some of them and maybe you'll get invited.

You win!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you really want to join the alcoholics / wine mom crew? Start drinking during business hours in front of some of them and maybe you'll get invited.

OP was also at the winery in the middle of the day on Friday, planning an event at that winery, and was upset not to be invited to the winery outing in the middle of the day on Friday. But otherwise, A+ logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like they didn't invite you because you are petty and mean and looking to criticize. This has probably come out before.

I'm going to defend OP here. I think her text was tacky but her reaction was normal. She felt left out and hurt, and I think that's a very normal reaction to seeing a large group of people you know, and thought you were a part of, together at a planned event. That's relatable to me. If I were in OP's shoes I'd also feel hurt.

She should have thought harder before sending the text, though. It only hurts her. At best, it communicates that she was hurt not to be included. At worst, yes, it makes her look petty. I don't think it comes off as "mean" though.

[Anonymous]

Was this your actual friend group and you were excluded? Or was it simply a group of moms from school who could have been there celebrating someone’s birthday or special event?

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound unpleasant and dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was this your actual friend group and you were excluded? Or was it simply a group of moms from school who could have been there celebrating someone’s birthday or special event?

+1. These are two very different scenarios