Why you shouldn't redshirt for kindergarten:

[Anonymous]

It is interesting to read OP's arguments. Are you doing some particular research OP?

The reality of the decision to hold a kid back or not is that it is always based heavily on individually experience and impressions. Every parent who has kids who are now adults knows several kids (possibly including their own) who benefitted from being held back, and who did just fine not being held back. There is obviously not much out there with OP's claims that being held back created problems for him.

Setting OP's example problems aside - can you think of real world situations where a child would not benefit from the extra physical and mental maturity?

The one that comes to me is just the obvious situation: A kid who is physically comparable with his or her older peers (big enough and coordinated enough so as to not be at any disadvantage) and who is both high IQ and emotionally mature enough that being in a classroom with same age or younger kids would be a continuing trial for him or her. It is important to consider the full age range though. Will the kid in question be physically and emotionally on par or better than their classmates at 12, 15, 18?

Can you think of others?

[Anonymous]

I was the absolute youngest in my class, and college was hell.

Everyone got to go out to bars Junior year except me -- they left me behind because I refused to get a fake id.

By the time I turned 21 no one even cared about celebrating anymore -- it was all been there done that!

I was a social pariah because I was the baby of the group.

If only my parents had held me back a year so I could have gone out to bars all junior year with my friends!

[Anonymous]

I would never redshirt unless my children had developmental delays. My youngest child was born in August and went to preschool right on time. She thrives, learning from older kids and was reading well by 4. The truth is though, no matter when you started preschool, by the time you are an adult, no one cares. It's like your SAT scores, where you went to college, whether you were valedictorian. You just have to get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never redshirt unless my children had developmental delays. My youngest child was born in August and went to preschool right on time. She thrives, learning from older kids and was reading well by 4. The truth is though, no matter when you started preschool, by the time you are an adult, no one cares. It's like your SAT scores, where you went to college, whether you were valedictorian. You just have to get over it.

How old is she now?

[Anonymous]

I was born after the cutoff but put in as the youngest because I was an early reader. It was not a good decision. Academically it was fine; I was always good academically. But middle school and high school were horrific and socially very damaging. It took a lot of therapy and work on my part to move past those years.

I hear a lot of parents on this board crowing about how bright their youngest kids are and how the redshirted kids must be dumb, and it just makes me sad. So wrapped up in their own egos, so unwilling to look at the whole child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never redshirt unless my children had developmental delays. My youngest child was born in August and went to preschool right on time. She thrives, learning from older kids and was reading well by 4. The truth is though, no matter when you started preschool, by the time you are an adult, no one cares. It's like your SAT scores, where you went to college, whether you were valedictorian. You just have to get over it.

How old is she now?

Again, I think there is likely a way to analyze the redshirt decision but it obviously would be very complex. That does not make it impossible, but as an area of potential research/study it seems interesting to me.

So -- for example -- in making your decision to send your daughter at age 4 to Kindergarten did you consider:

1. Her physical size, coordination and motor development relative to her peers at the time? How do you think she stands in those areas currently relative to her classmates?
2. Her emotional maturity relative to her peers? Could she sit still and listen for say 15 minutes at a time? Could she follow basic classroom directions (line up, etc. . ) Did she make friends and interact well with her classmates? How is she doing now (I am guessing she is doing fine in following directions -- more interested in the social stuff).
3. Did you take into account your own and your spouse's history in growth and maturity? If you did -- were you correct (if your daughter is past puberty.
4. Are you in an area where many kids start at an older age -- so is your daughter one of just a very few younger kids or are there several in her same age group?
5. Did you consult with any specialists in making your decision? The teachers? The principal? Friends?
6. Would you consider holding her back at any age/stage if you felt she was behind physically, emotionally, academically or some combination?
7. Were there other external factors that favored sending your daughter at age 4, e.g. high cost of good daycare vs. starting school? (Big one for us with our second -- but we lucked out as the district had a young-K class)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was born after the cutoff but put in as the youngest because I was an early reader. It was not a good decision. Academically it was fine; I was always good academically. But middle school and high school were horrific and socially very damaging. It took a lot of therapy and work on my part to move past those years.

I hear a lot of parents on this board crowing about how bright their youngest kids are and how the redshirted kids must be dumb, and it just makes me sad. So wrapped up in their own egos, so unwilling to look at the whole child.

And on the opposite side of the coin, I was always the youngest because I skipped a year and had a spring birthday. Did well academically and socially throughout school and going out to bars (or the lack of) was never an issue for my friends and me. If I had friends who ditched me constantly for the bars, I wouldn't consider them good friends at all.

If you were born after the cut-off, you shouldn't have been in school that early. You can't compare that to kids being started late for school. I'm not anti-redshirting at all, but the two situations aren't comparable.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, geez lady seems like you fell off your stupid high horse onto your head.

Most people hold back for maturity issues. In countries with great educational systems, such as France and Finland, kids start formal schooling at age 6 or 7.
It doesnt give you a 'leg up academically' to delay K. Early schooling is mostly about socializing, getting used to the school routine and getting the basics down as is developmentally apptopriate for each individual child. It has little to do with later academic achievement, though repeatedly 'failing' or being told your 'dumb' during your elementary school years probably has a negative effect.

The reason we start K in ghis country so early is so the parents have free good quality childcare so that we can work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, geez lady seems like you fell off your stupid high horse onto your head.

Most people hold back for maturity issues. In countries with great educational systems, such as France and Finland, kids start formal schooling at age 6 or 7.
It doesnt give you a 'leg up academically' to delay K. Early schooling is mostly about socializing, getting used to the school routine and getting the basics down as is developmentally apptopriate for each individual child. It has little to do with later academic achievement, though repeatedly 'failing' or being told your 'dumb' during your elementary school years probably has a negative effect.

The reason we start K in ghis country so early is so the parents have free good quality childcare so that we can work.

DP. A lot of this is wrong. Kids start school earlier than 6 or 7 in France and Finland, and France is not known to have a great educational system. Many parents redshirt to have a leg up academically, whether or not it actually works is a separate question.

[Anonymous]

I was born in June, started school when I was supposed to, and graduated with honors at age 17. Why redshirt if there is no need? I never studied, because I never needed to. If your child is smart enough, they do not need the advantage of an extra year. My youngest daughter will also graduate with honors at age 17 because her birthday is at the end of July. She certainly didn't need to be held back. She has things to do, places to go, experiences to have. Life is waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was born in June, started school when I was supposed to, and graduated with honors at age 17. Why redshirt if there is no need? I never studied, because I never needed to. If your child is smart enough, they do not need the advantage of an extra year. My youngest daughter will also graduate with honors at age 17 because her birthday is at the end of July. She certainly didn't need to be held back. She has things to do, places to go, experiences to have. Life is waiting.

I don't think a parent would redshirt with no need. The point is that some parents don't think their kids are ready for K. It is their right to hold them back if they want to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who don't know, redshirting is the act of delaying a child's kindergarten entrance by a year. Some parents do it in the hopes of giving their kid an academic advantage. While that may work at first, it hurts the child in the long-run. Here is my experience.

I was born on July 3rd, and made the cut-off in my area by a solid 2 months. However, at the advice of my pre-school teachers, my parents decided to wait until I was 6 to put me in Kindergarten. At first, it was pretty awesome. I was taller than most of my classmates and better in sports. The problem, however, was that some of my classmates thought I was dumb, because I was a grad behind. In high school, it was really awesome being the first to drive, as all my friends thought I was really cool. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school that I realized my parents may have done me a disservice. It really sucked to be stuck on a high school campus as an adult. High schools are not designed for adults which is why I felt so out of place my senior year. If a 17-year-old tried to pick a fight with me, fighting back wasn't really an option, because I was an adult and they were a minor. I also had to break up with my current gf, since she was a year shy of her 18th birthday when I turned 18. When prom rolled around in the spring, my options were limited because a lot of the girls were still 17. That was why I was really excited to start college. By the 2nd semester of my freshman year, almost everyone was an adult, so I felt like I fit in once again. My junior year, however, I hit another bump. I turned 21 right before my junior, because my friends were 19 and 20, I couldn't go to a bar for my birthday. And throughout my junior year, if I wanted to go to a bar, I would have to go by myself, and if I wanted to hang out with my friends, I couldn't go to a bar. But it was my senior year of college when I truly realized that my parents had done me a disservice. That was the year I should have been starting my career and earning real money, but instead, I was still stuck doing homework and studying for exams. I entered the real world and started working at 23 instead of 22, a year late. To this day, I still feel behind. When I retire, I'm probably going to have less earnings than I would have otherwise, and every time there's a mile-stone, such as buying a new house, or getting a promotion, I keep thinking, "I would have been doing this one year earlier." So remember, while it may not seem like a big deal for a 5-year-old to be in pre-school instead of elementary school, that child will one day be a 22-year-old in college instead of out in the world and earning money.

I'm currently having this issue with DS, who was born on August 5th. His pre-school teachers have been strongly advising me to redshirt, but because of my experience, there is no way I'm doing this. He may not be a star athlete and he may not always be at the top of his class, but so what? My job is to prepare to become a self-supporting and successful adult and to teach him that he doesn't need trophies or to always be the best in order to be happy. I've learned from my parents' mistake and I want to make sure that he doesn't get a late start in life like I did. I also don't want his classmates thinking there's something wrong with him.

so when you are 65 you will still be blaming your parents for your earnings? you have much bigger problems than being redshirted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, geez lady seems like you fell off your stupid high horse onto your head.

Most people hold back for maturity issues. In countries with great educational systems, such as France and Finland, kids start formal schooling at age 6 or 7.
It doesnt give you a 'leg up academically' to delay K. Early schooling is mostly about socializing, getting used to the school routine and getting the basics down as is developmentally apptopriate for each individual child. It has little to do with later academic achievement, though repeatedly 'failing' or being told your 'dumb' during your elementary school years probably has a negative effect.

The reason we start K in ghis country so early is so the parents have free good quality childcare so that we can work.

DP. A lot of this is wrong. Kids start school earlier than 6 or 7 in France and Finland, and France is not known to have a great educational system. Many parents redshirt to have a leg up academically, whether or not it actually works is a separate question.

We don't live in Finland or France so its a mute point.

[Anonymous]

You didn't get into fistfights because you were 18 and the other person was 17? So if you had been 17 you would have gotten into fights? I'd say redshirting was very successful for you -- it kept you out of fights.

[Anonymous]

1. All kids with birthdays before June turn 18 during their senior year of HS.

2. All kids in college have a span of a year or so where some of their friends are legal drinking age and some aren't.

3. After college, people take time off to travel, change majors, go to grad school, etc., meaning that many (most) people are 23+ when they start their first jobs.

It is shocking to me these things have bothered you for your entire life.