Should be when the siblings are friends with my child. |
All those extra kids change the tone of the party and make it more hectic and crazy. Lots of people bring uninvited siblings because they want the siblings to have fun too, not because they don't have childcare. I know several families where one parent brings the uninvited sibling along so the other parent can have some weekend time to themselves. While I understand those desires, it's just rude to impose extra kids on an event. As several PPs have noted, if all those siblings attend it can DOUBLE the size of the party. |
You are a class act. OP should follow your example. I have twin DCs who attend different schools, I, too, would never bring one of them to a party who was not invited -- I have NEVER asked to bring the non-invited sibling, either. TO EVEN ASK TO BRING A SIBLING IS INCREDIBLY RUDE! Most parents who know my DCs are twins have invited the other twin, but I have never asked for them to be invited. |
I just posted above. OP, when you ask to bring a sibling, you put the party host in a difficult situation. Sometimes it might not be a big deal to have your extra DC, but if the host has to say no, I would imagine they feel really awful about saying no. Party invitations are addressed to the actual invited guest. Unless the invite says "siblings welcome," please don't put the hosts in an awkward position (unless you know them really, really well).
|
Poverty? Indigent? How about reasonable? I think hosting a party for 15 children is fine; hosting one for 30 is excessive. Moreover, it changes the nature of the party if there are kids of all different ages. People are so rude, and so entitled. If you don't want to come without your whole family in tow, don't come. It's easy! |
So you need to be "indigent" to not have it in your party budget to host approximately 15 additional kids? I could afford to do it, but when I am already paying $350 for a home party (food, drinks, cake, loot bags, paperwear) at which I am hosting the parents of all 15 kids in my son's class, in addition to all of the kids, it becomes unreasonable and I don't want to do it. |
That is fine, whatever you do in lieu of bringing an uninvited guest (which you said you would not do) is obviously entirely up to you. |
Is this the mom who is adamant that her kids are dropped off as soon as their potty trained? |
I would much rather someone ask to bring a sibling than to decline the party because they didn't have childcare. I have had people ask, and I don't find it rude at all - this area has tons of single parents and families where one parent travels for work, and I don't expect anyone to go to ridiculous lengths in order to adhere to "perfect" etiquette when the issue in question is a child's birthday party. |
Depends on the party. I would be happy to include siblings unless we had to limit numbers because of the venue. |
+1 |
With my daughter's most recent party, the party coordinator charged $20 per extra child over 10 kids. We had 11 as it was, so imagine having another 10 kids easily, if not more as some kids have multiple sibs. That's at least $200 just in extra child fees, not to mention goody bags and pricey allergen-friendly cupcakes, changing it from a party that's already expensive (to me- but oh so worth it as she did EVERYTHING) to one that is pushing the limits of affordability for us.
Having said that, if I knew a parent was really in a bind (one of DD's friend's dad works all day Saturdays), I would ask if the parent wanted to bring the other sibling. But we made her party this year drop-off optional so that parents wouldn't have to deal with childcare issues. |
Parents of more than one child have this issue all the time. Even when it is a drop off party, you will see what it feels like to pull away your screaming, upset younger child from Pump It Up or some other place. It's just another life lesson for them, in my book. Get a sitter, do a babysitting co-op, or trade off (you watch two younger kids - yours and a friend's - and the friend takes the invited kids to the party or vice versa or ask another family if they can bring your child and then next time you bring the other child). It was very rare that I had to actually pay a sitter. If you can plan ahead, it is not hard or expensive. |
It's incredible to me that in one or two generations manners have devolved so greatly and entitlement has become so significant. When we fortysomethings were kids, our parents understood that birthday parties were for invited guests. They didn't expect to foist off their extra kids on the hosts. Now parents view a party invitation for one child as an invitation to bring all their (sometimes poorly behaved) kids for free entertainment, food and drink, and goodie bags. When that's not the case, they label hosts as rude or ungracious. Perhaps worse, they inadvertently teach kids that they're always invited everywhere and always should be. |
Clearly you have home parties or park parties or swimming parties. It doesn't quite work like this when the venue has a limited capacity. My kids both know the same birthday child but only one was invited to his party. It is at our pool. Wouldn't it be great if I could drop off one at the party and keep the other at the pool to just play? (After all, we are members?) But then it would be too difficult to not have my other non invited kid to want cake and a favor so even though it is a weekend and going to the pool is my right, I'm purposefully not doing that to keep the uninvited kid from the fray. It isn't all about you (the uninvited person). |