Why are some people always so NICE?!

[Anonymous]

Ah shucks, thanks ... I just can't help myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a mom in our play group like this and I'm kind of jealous. She's always super cheerful, calm and loving with her children (who of course are adorable and super nice), and never ever has a bad word to say about anyone. I have always wanted to be one of those genuinely kind people who everyone likes.

For some people, it really is their disposition. One of my children was born this way. It's nothing we did as parents or the result of anything he experienced or chose to believe along the way. He just came out with the sunniest personality and remains one of the most cheerful, easy-going people I know. For him, it's just a lucky gene draw.

For others, it's a choice. I'm probably more in that category. Though I think I have a sunnier disposition than average, I also make a conscious choice to keep my behavior on the "nice" side of the line as much as possible. I don't always hit the mark, but it's a habit like anything else, so practice helps. As does the company I keep. Nice friends bring out the best in me, and being nice myself makes me happier than the alternative.

Finally, I will say that all the pieces affect one another. My guess is that the friend you describe attracts nice friends (and repels/irritates/offends less nice people), has kids who model back the niceness they see at home, and generally is led by her positive mindset to find the calmer, happier paths in life (and to avoid the negative ones.) In my experience, nice begets nice.

[Anonymous]

Idk but wish I was nicer. I tend to be quite negative but am trying to be positive, upbeat and not quick to snap at people over little issues. I don't like the person I am right now and definitely wouldn't want to he friends with me

[Anonymous]

I am pretty happy and generally very nice. I can be a little snarky in a funny way with my friends but (with the exception of an extraordinarily annoying woman on facebook), I dont think I have ever said anything bad about anyone I know.

The teachers also tell me that my kids are also very kind to their classmates and very happy in school - although they have tantrums at home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rich husband.

I'm happy because I'm the rich wife!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a mom in our play group like this and I'm kind of jealous. She's always super cheerful, calm and loving with her children (who of course are adorable and super nice), and never ever has a bad word to say about anyone. I have always wanted to be one of those genuinely kind people who everyone likes.

Why wouldn't I be nice? My life is great. Not perfect, but it's the life I've chosen and I enjoy it.

+1

[Anonymous]

I am a very happy person and have been told that I am a nice person. Perhaps the two are linked.

I think my happiness is because I am focused on what I have and not what I don't have. I also don't have excessive expectations when it comes to other people and so I rarely feel let down.

Combine all of this with a happy home life and generally good health, and I could not ask for anything more.

BTW, before anyone asks, I am not on any medications or drugs and we are comfortable financially though compared to the incomes that are bandied around on this forum, we are on the low side of DCUM incomes for sure.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps the woman has lost someone close to her, or even has a health issue herself, and realizes how fortunate she is to be alive. Maybe she doesn't sweat the small stuff, and instead tries to find joy in the little things that most people don't even notice. Maybe she treats others the way she would like to be treated, and feels good brightening someone else's day. Maybe she is happy and thankful for the life she leads.

Signed, someone else who is happy and nice to others.

[Anonymous]

I'm a very happy and nice person. I think it's because I'm fairly content with my choices in life (no big regrets) and have confidence in what I've accomplished.

Also, I had a verbally abusive parent and told myself I would never be that person. I do get angry like everyone else, but it's easy for me to let it go and act calmly and return to happiness. Especially with my kids. They are well disciplined, but I don't lose my temper with them -- in fact, I think that's why they are so well-behaved.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if nice and happy are linked. I haven't always been happy but I have always been nice. That is how people describe me. I used to think it was a boring way to describe me but as I get older I am proud that it defines me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a very happy and nice person. I think it's because I'm fairly content with my choices in life (no big regrets) and have confidence in what I've accomplished.

Also, I had a verbally abusive parent and told myself I would never be that person. I do get angry like everyone else, but it's easy for me to let it go and act calmly and return to happiness. Especially with my kids. They are well disciplined, but I don't lose my temper with them -- in fact, I think that's why they are so well-behaved.

This is me too! My mom was verbally abusive and I refuse, refuse, refuse to be that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Happy pills?

I think there is some truth to this.

I work in a health care setting, and I'd say about 40% off the patients who come through are on something - Xanax/Lexapro/Zoloft/Celexa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy pills?

I think there is some truth to this.

I work in a health care setting, and I'd say about 40% off the patients who come through are on something - Xanax/Lexapro/Zoloft/Celexa.

So what if some of them are? Good for them for admitting they need help! I think you chose the wrong profession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps the woman has lost someone close to her, or even has a health issue herself, and realizes how fortunate she is to be alive. Maybe she doesn't sweat the small stuff, and instead tries to find joy in the little things that most people don't even notice. Maybe she treats others the way she would like to be treated, and feels good brightening someone else's day. Maybe she is happy and thankful for the life she leads.

Signed, someone else who is happy and nice to others.

+1000

Happy people have better coping mechanisms than miserable hags. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy pills?

I think there is some truth to this.

I work in a health care setting, and I'd say about 40% off the patients who come through are on something - Xanax/Lexapro/Zoloft/Celexa.

So what if some of them are? Good for them for admitting they need help! I think you chose the wrong profession.

I'm the PP - I agree! No negative judgement here. Just commenting that quite a few people actually are on meds. Nothing wrong with it at all. Yes, good for them for admitting they need help!