Why are some people always so NICE?!

[Anonymous]

Rich husband.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's just happy and secure with herself. People who are insecure or dissatisfied with themselves seem to be the biggest downers.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of those "happy" people. At younger age, my parents used to take us on road trips to East Africa and got to see what kids there had there vs what I/kids had here. I learned to be very appreciative of what we have and that's stayed with me ever since. We have our ups and downs, dealing with chronic health issues etc, but still happy for what we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of those "happy" people. At younger age, my parents used to take us on road trips to East Africa and got to see what kids there had there vs what I/kids had here. I learned to be very appreciative of what we have and that's stayed with me ever since. We have our ups and downs, dealing with chronic health issues etc, but still happy for what we have.

...meant road trips within East Africa, Nairobi being the start/end point of the trips...

[Anonymous]

I have a friend like this and I really admire her. Never a bad word to say about anyone!

[Anonymous]

I would be described as a nice person.
People tell me that they can't imagine me getting angry about anything. It's how I present to the world, and it's genuine - I usually feel good will towards others and like making people feel good. At the same time, I'm a people-pleaser, to a fault, and though I wouldn't describe myself as fake, some of my "niceness" comes from insecurity.
I also have a moody side that nobody sees but my DH and kids. So knowing that I harbor a secret dark side causes me to wonder about other similarly nice people.

[Anonymous]

I prefer being kind and upbeat because it gives me nothing to regret or defend or brood over after. Btdt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rich husband.

Nope. The money is mine, the first wife. It was mine before marriage, so guess what? It's mine, alright. No second wife would get anything.


OP, some people have had tremendous losses in their lives and have amazing coping mechanisms.

OTOH, I know bitchy women who would not know what to do if they have had the losses that my nice friends have had. The nice friends keep things in proper perspective - they are experienced and mature. The bitchy friends, not so much - they tend to be very immature and entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's just happy and secure with herself. People who are insecure or dissatisfied with themselves seem to be the biggest downers.

I'm like this -- insecure and dissatisfied with myself, yet I try to be nice most of the time. I think people would describe me as nice. I am never mean to people, I let cars and pedestrians go in front of me, I hold doors for people, I smile and everyone and say hello. It makes me feel better to be nice to people, even though I am not a happy person. I don't talk behind people's backs, don't backstab anyone (even though I've been backstabbed, but I don't respond in kind).

I think some people genuinely enjoy being mean -- that's the way they are. I am not that way, and I never will be, no matter how unhappy I am with my life.

I agree that a nice gesture at the right time has made a big difference to me, so I want to be that nice person to someone else who is having a hard day or a bad time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a mom in our play group like this and I'm kind of jealous. She's always super cheerful, calm and loving with her children (who of course are adorable and super nice), and never ever has a bad word to say about anyone. I have always wanted to be one of those genuinely kind people who everyone likes.

Why wouldn't I be nice? My life is great. Not perfect, but it's the life I've chosen and I enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

I'm the type of "nice" person the op describes. Im almost always cheerful, but not always happy inside. Even if I had a bad morning, it just feels better to try to get some kind of enjoyment from the day. I like making others happy. It makes me feel good about myself. I don't talk a lot about my personal problems. They make me feel bad enough, soi don't see how making someone else feel bad about my problems will help anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's just happy and secure with herself. People who are insecure or dissatisfied with themselves seem to be the biggest downers.

I'm like this -- insecure and dissatisfied with myself, yet I try to be nice most of the time. I think people would describe me as nice. I am never mean to people, I let cars and pedestrians go in front of me, I hold doors for people, I smile and everyone and say hello. It makes me feel better to be nice to people, even though I am not a happy person. I don't talk behind people's backs, don't backstab anyone (even though I've been backstabbed, but I don't respond in kind).

I think some people genuinely enjoy being mean -- that's the way they are. I am not that way, and I never will be, no matter how unhappy I am with my life.

I agree that a nice gesture at the right time has made a big difference to me, so I want to be that nice person to someone else who is having a hard day or a bad time.

I think some peoples' sole purpose in life is to see how mean they can be, particularly to happy people. Not much of an existence at all. Who is going to miss them when they are gone? Not much of a loss at all!

It would take far more than any nasty people to make the happy people I know change their ways.

[Anonymous]

I have a few people like that in my circle. I really enjoy being around them. I'm not being sarcastic. I'm not a Pollyanna or one of those earnest types, but I'm an extrovert who can be pretty swayed by the mood of people around me, and certain very positive (non-cheesy, non-fake) people leave me feeling refreshed after I hang out with them.

Thank God for genuinely nice people!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm actually like this - It's something most people I know comment about somewhat regularly! Honestly, I just *like* being nice. It makes me happy not to introduce negativity into a situation.

I've gone through some really hard times, and when I was at my worst, having someone do something tiny and nice actually made a difference for me (e.g., had a totally crap day when I thought nothing else could go wrong, then had someone wait for a sec just to not let a door slam in my face).

Mostly I just live by the "do unto others" concept. I don't want people treating me horribly/rudely/whatever, why should I do it to them?

Yes yes and YES! When I'm feeling low about crap that's going on in my world (and there is some heavy stuff happening at home), I share quietly with a few confidants, and then hibernate a bit if I need to. When I'm ready to be out and about I just feel better when I'm being kind. I also "like" being nice, and I want my children to see how to incorporate kindness into their everyday interactions. It's a decent habit to get into.

[Anonymous]

Anyone that nice is definitely new to D.C.

Give them a few years.