Poll - if you were the youngest or oldest of your school class..

[Anonymous]

So we have a summer birthday son who we are debating whether to send on to K later this year. He would be the youngest in his class. We think he is likely ready academically and emotionally enough to try. Here's the thing - in our neighborhood there seems to be a disproportionate (Alexandria/Arlington border) number of families who delay their kids going into K. For example, my son has peers born in May who will not be going to K. In other words, not only might he be 11 months younger than some kids, he may be 16-17 months younger than his K class. As a result of this cascade effect, we are trying to figure out if delaying him into K makes sense only because he is so shy, sensitive and had a speech delay that has only been getting better since age 4.

While we are not so much worried for the K years - we do worry about the impact of being the smaller/youngest one when he is age 12-13 when according to research is when some kids are more affected by their age/grade level. My husband was oldest and I was youngest in our classes. I have always been very driven/ambitious while my husband has not. While my son is shy, sensitive, timid he is also quite into challenges, persevering, intelligent and seems to love to learn. He is timid but I would not suggest he suffers from no confidence as he can be strong willed when he finds an interest. We do not worry so much about bullying as he's a sweet kid and somehow he is quite popular with everyone I don't think he cares about other kids but boy do they adore him! He is thin but of average height.

This is really more about long term impact going into K much younger than his peers and always being the youngest until he's college bound. So, if you were the youngest/oldest of your class, how do you feel your experience affected you from your age/grade level in school later in life? How did it impact you with grades, socially, professionally at a much later age? Do you think you would have benefited more if you were youngest/oldest?

[Anonymous]

We sent our son, who's an August baby, to kindergarten two weeks after he turned 5. He's in high school now and has done well socially as well as academically. We have a younger son with a November birthday who seems to me to be almost too old socially for his classmates. Obviously maturity levels vary.

[Anonymous]

We insisted that our November born son be admitted to kindergarten at age 4. He could already read and write, and we knew another year at home would be boring for him. He did well throughout school and always kept up with his peers socially (maybe too much so).

[Anonymous]

I have a now 6 year old who has a summer birthday. He went to special needs preschool for language and assorted physical delays. If you get services through Montgomery County, you cannot red shirt your child and continue to receive services. So our 5 year old went to K with the other kids. He is doing fine. I would ask your child's preschool teacher whether you think he should be delayed. If he is ready, send him.

[Anonymous]

I was a full year and a half younger than some of my classmates, and still excelled academically and did well socially.

I was a girl who skipped K and placed straight into first grade, though. This was 30+ years ago.

[Anonymous]

I was the youngest. My birthday is in mid-December, and I was pushed forward. Then I skipped first grade. So for example, everyone else's bar/bat mitzvah was in 7th or 8th grade, and mine was in 9th (I remember my mother panicking and wondering if she had to allow my friends to bring dates (no)).

It wasn't really an issue. I kind of wished I could drive in high school (I got my permit at the second half of senior year) but at least I had friends who could drive me places.

I was short until I turned 15 and then shot up to 5'8" but when I think back to the kids who were picked on, it was never for shortness. Nobody ever mentioned my size.

To be honest, I think my parents were a little uncomfortable with me dating boys who were that much older than me. In 10th grade I was 14 and dating an 18 year old who was in my math class, and it was clear they were relieved when we broke up.

Professionally it's never been an issue at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So we have a summer birthday son who we are debating whether to send on to K later this year. He would be the youngest in his class. We think he is likely ready academically and emotionally enough to try. Here's the thing - in our neighborhood there seems to be a disproportionate (Alexandria/Arlington border) number of families who delay their kids going into K. For example, my son has peers born in May who will not be going to K. In other words, not only might he be 11 months younger than some kids, he may be 16-17 months younger than his K class. As a result of this cascade effect, we are trying to figure out if delaying him into K makes sense only because he is so shy, sensitive and had a speech delay that has only been getting better since age 4.

While we are not so much worried for the K years - we do worry about the impact of being the smaller/youngest one when he is age 12-13 when according to research is when some kids are more affected by their age/grade level. My husband was oldest and I was youngest in our classes. I have always been very driven/ambitious while my husband has not. While my son is shy, sensitive, timid he is also quite into challenges, persevering, intelligent and seems to love to learn. He is timid but I would not suggest he suffers from no confidence as he can be strong willed when he finds an interest. We do not worry so much about bullying as he's a sweet kid and somehow he is quite popular with everyone I don't think he cares about other kids but boy do they adore him! He is thin but of average height.

This is really more about long term impact going into K much younger than his peers and always being the youngest until he's college bound. So, if you were the youngest/oldest of your class, how do you feel your experience affected you from your age/grade level in school later in life? How did it impact you with grades, socially, professionally at a much later age? Do you think you would have benefited more if you were youngest/oldest?

I have a summer birthday and skipped a grade, so maybe not directly comparable, but I did have the experience of being the youngest (by 18 months+) throughout school. It was fine. I didn't get my license until the summer before senior year, but luckily my parents were able to give me an old car so I could "make up" for having my friends drive me around for two years. In both high school and college I found that I did so many things with kids in other grades (clubs, sports, etc.) that it didn't matter so much that I was youngest in my grade. We didn't go to bars much in college so that wasn't an issue (plenty of beer at parties In elementary and middle school stuff was organized more by grade, but as a tall girl I didn't stand out from the other girls in my grade. I graduated from college at 20, which was fine with me, I considered it quite a head start.

[Anonymous]

OP, not that you asked, but my experience as the youngest of my school class (which actually was fine) is really not relevant.

The question is, is your son socially and academically ready for kindergarten? If yes, send him! If not, don't send him! Would you really hold him back now because something bad might or might not happen ten years from now?

[Anonymous]

Both boys started K at 4.5 due to birthdays and cut offs. Oldest son went through puberty early and was the oldest looking, tallest in his class from about 5th grade until 9th or 10th grade. He excelled socially and academically despite being the youngest in his grade. I can't imagine if we had held him back.

Second was more on the smaller side but had lots of other kids his size in in his grade. Never saw any social or academic disadvantages. He is a quieter kid and had a couple close friends he hung out for most of high school. I really don't think his life would have been any different if he had been held back a year - that was just his personality.

[Anonymous]

My DS has a January birthday, which should put him in the older-to-middle category in terms of age. Instead, he's one of the youngest. He's about 60 percentile in height for his age, but he's one of the smaller boys. He started losing teeth after everyone else and is slightly less coordinated. He's one of those kids who compares himself to everyone and he's comparing himself to kids that are 8-10 months older than he is. If I had a child on the cusp age-wise, I'd definitely hold him back.

On a different note, my sister was always the oldest in her class. She loved it and I think it contributed to her high confidence level and popularity.

[Anonymous]

OP, my daughter's birthday is at the end of November. We put her in kinder 3 months before she turned 5.

We spent basically all of elementary school trying to figure out what to do with her. She was displeased with kindergarten because it was just playing and "I can do that at home, with all my friends". We left her there thinking it was good for her to learn to socialize with people she didn't like. She was displeased with first grade because "there are kids who can't even READ here!" and we left her there thinking she'd just get a really firm foundation in reading since she'd taught herself two years prior. In second grade it was just "everything is just too easy" and she started getting in trouble. Finally the school started trying to help - they put her in a third grade math class, 3rd grade reading group, and once-a-week special curriculum for advanced kids.

It was better, but not enough. At the end of second grade the principal suggested we do the same for third grade and then she skip 4th. That's what she did. She marched right into middle school at almost 9 years old, within a month she was put into 6th grade math, and came home to announce, "I've finally found my people."

Her behavior got much better, she got much happier, and I think was finally feeling challenged. She'd spent so many years just being given busy work or asked to help the slower kids, that actually struggling over work was a welcome relief.

She is in college now, and we had her take a year off between high school and college. She did a ton of traveling and I think it helped her slow down and enjoy life a bit, and get some solid life experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my daughter's birthday is at the end of November. We put her in kinder 3 months before she turned 5.

We spent basically all of elementary school trying to figure out what to do with her. She was displeased with kindergarten because it was just playing and "I can do that at home, with all my friends". We left her there thinking it was good for her to learn to socialize with people she didn't like. She was displeased with first grade because "there are kids who can't even READ here!" and we left her there thinking she'd just get a really firm foundation in reading since she'd taught herself two years prior. In second grade it was just "everything is just too easy" and she started getting in trouble. Finally the school started trying to help - they put her in a third grade math class, 3rd grade reading group, and once-a-week special curriculum for advanced kids.

It was better, but not enough. At the end of second grade the principal suggested we do the same for third grade and then she skip 4th. That's what she did. She marched right into middle school at almost 9 years old, within a month she was put into 6th grade math, and came home to announce, "I've finally found my people."

Her behavior got much better, she got much happier, and I think was finally feeling challenged. She'd spent so many years just being given busy work or asked to help the slower kids, that actually struggling over work was a welcome relief.

She is in college now, and we had her take a year off between high school and college. She did a ton of traveling and I think it helped her slow down and enjoy life a bit, and get some solid life experience.

That's fantastic. I wish I would have done this.

I was the youngest in my grade but always at the top of my class. Graduated high school early and went right off to college. I don't wish I had been held back a grade but I do wish I would have taken time in between high school and college to mature a bit more.

[Anonymous]

I had to check twice to make sure this wasn't my thread! I started a very similar one awhile back:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/339581.page#4225521

In our case, I was one of the oldest and coasted through school. I always did great and was definitely "a leader" but never got used to working very hard, and I think that's to my detriment now. Socially, I was fine, although often fit in better with older kids. My husband was on the younger side (but not one of the youngest), excelled academically and was just fine socially despite being a pretty shy kid.

Our son has a late August birthday and we're sending him on time in MoCo. We are also a little concerned about the middle school years, but we're confident he'll handle kindergarten well so we're making the decision based on where he is now rather than some hypothetical future scenario. If I didn't feel like he was so ready for school now, I might be more inclined to hold him.

[Anonymous]

I had a June birthday and was always the tallest in class despite being younger. my brother was the same way with a July birthday. my four older sibs has Oct and Nov birthdays and started at 4 andnone of is had any issues at all. Truthfully, I'd have dropped out of high school if I had to be there at age 18 or more. I always cringe when people hold back the summer kids. Do you really want a legal adult sick going to high school? Dating a minor? defying you because they're an adult and can vote, buy cigarettes etc? I wouldn't hold a kid back for any reason except medical. If they have top repeat kindergarten so be it, but they likely will be just fine.

[Anonymous]

OP, I was one of the oldest in my class. Back then it didn't seem to matter oldest/youngest (at least to me going through school). I have a summer bday DD who I sent on time. No way could I envision keeping her back a year. She was simply ready. There are several in her class who were held back. They seem to fit in fine. I did hold my DS back, but he is SN and no way could he function in a county classroom with same aged peers. He really is immature and a year behind himself. He is placed exactly where he needed to be and it's working out well for him. I think you need to judge by your child and not by what others are doing. FWIW, my DD has friends a grade above and a grade below her as well as in her grade.