What's wrong with me - help me please. (I'm angry...)

[Anonymous]

I'm angry all the time, and I can't identify why. I'm married with a 7 and 4 year old, a SAHM. Thankfully my kids are healthy, DH has a good job (tho with really very long hours - counsel at a big firm). We have a nice home. Etc.

But the last few weeks (months?) I've been really angry and I don't know why. Like for ex., taking the kids to the grocery store today when the kids are "can I have this?" and grabbing stuff when that's annoying to everyone, it makes me almost shake with anger but also sadness, like tears in my eyes. Like I can't deal, I'm losing it. I'm snappy with kids, sometimes DH. It's like my rope is FRIED. But I can't figure out what I feel angry at.

I exercise a few times a week, eat pretty healthily. I try to sleep well but often wake up multiple times per night (though fall asleep ok). I even got bloodowrk checking thyroid and that's fine, as are other things like Vit D. I seem healthy. Please help me, I don't know what's wrong with me.

[Anonymous]

Depression
Menopause

[Anonymous]

When was the last time you took some quality time for yourself without the kids? I always find that when I become too stressed a little time away makes things a lot better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depression
Menopause

OP here: not menopause. Regular periods, I'm 36.

[Anonymous]

I'll second depression. My depression was never a dull sad feeling. Instead, I would get enraged and not be able to calm down. It took me a LONG time to realize I could be depressed. I started with a therapist and am on 50mg of Zoloft. It has helped tremendously.

[Anonymous]

Questions/things to consider -- and I'm just brainstorming here --
When was your last period? How far away are you from menopause? Possible it's early onset menopause?

Do you feel particularly angry when you haven't eaten in a while (low blood sugar)?

When was the last time you took a vacation that was actually relaxing? When was the last time you did something enjoyable just for yourself -- a massage, a girls night out, a movie? Maybe you need to check into a hotel one weekend and have the weekend to yourself -- room service, cable TV, in-room massage, get a pedicure, read some trashy magazines.

Any childhood issues that could possibly be coming up? -- unhappy or abusive parents, etc. Sometimes that stuff rears its head when we least expect it. I like the book "Parenting from the Inside Out" for stuff like this -- has helped me a lot.

Are you bored?

Have you thought about seeing a therapist? I know everyone on DCUM is like "run to a therapist" for issues high and low, but seriously, if your'e angry, you don't know why, and you're saying on this board that you need help, then maybe it's time to call a therapist and at do at least a couple of sessions just to try and get a sense of what is going on here.

[Anonymous]

I would suggest going to therapy if you can. I was really struggling with anger earlier this year (which is not normal for me), and therapy has really helped.

[Anonymous]

I think it sounds like depression, too. It's great that you are recognizing it. Do you really want this to be your life? I think you have the power to change it. It sounds awful, but I got cancer at the age of 40 (I'm fine now) - and it bizarrely was the best thing to happen to me mentally. I feel so much more relaxed about the little stuff. I guess it helped me to work out what is important and what isn't. Sure, I still get annoyed (I lost it at my 6yo DS who was picking up stuff from the shelves at CVS today!) but it doesn't last. Every moment with your loved ones is precious.

Go see your doctor.

[Anonymous]

It's the grind - environment pulls the trigger, and genes load the gun. You must have a genetic propensity for anxiety/depression. With medicine, you'll be fine. The right medicine, as this sounds more chemical than situational or an error in a thinking process. And maybe when the kids are both in school, you can quit the meds.

[Anonymous]

This is a very common manifestation of depression.

[Anonymous]

I started taking Zoloft for anxiety and it never occurred to me- but I was super angry and irritable beforehand so perhaps that was depression that has now been mitigated with the meds. Very interesting.

[Anonymous]

You're depressed.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to tread carefully here if I can, but how do you feel about the fact that your DH works such long hours? Are you happy with the arrangement? Or does it make you feel overwhelmed to end up with more responsibility with the kids as a result?

I know that I wouldn't be able to deal if my DH worked long hours like that, but I also know that the arrangement works well for other people. Maybe you fall into the latter camp. But if not, maybe it's worth exploring that issue a little more.

[Anonymous]

I'll add to the chorus-- it's depression, OP.

[Anonymous]

Depression that might need medication to lift.