do you let friends stay at your second home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find this thread fascinating! I do not have the means for a 2nd home. But if I did I would think one of the great parts and being able to share that with a friend. These are people who have been to the home before. They know where things are. You've seen them use your stuff. You're not losing money, the place is empty. Why wouldn't you say yes?

Translation: I don't have a vacation house but I will shamelessly mooch from wealthier friends who do have one. But we're so "fun," we're not leeches! And we'd bring a $50 bottle of wine, so it's not like we'd come empty-handed!



Delusional leeches are the most comical of all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this thread fascinating! I do not have the means for a 2nd home. But if I did I would think one of the great parts and being able to share that with a friend. These are people who have been to the home before. They know where things are. You've seen them use your stuff. You're not losing money, the place is empty. Why wouldn't you say yes?

Translation: I don't have a vacation house but I will shamelessly mooch from wealthier friends who do have one. But we're so "fun," we're not leeches! And we'd bring a $50 bottle of wine, so it's not like we'd come empty-handed!



Delusional leeches are the most comical of all.

Agree. OP sounds like the type that wants to latch onto certain people until they say that they have had enough. And anyone else is likely done with OP. OP, do you really think people are stupid, and you can guilt them into believing your tired trope? People see right through you. You are not gracing them with your presence. If you want your family to have a vacation, you are going to have to pay for it yourself. And be a better human. You can't talk shyt about people, then expect them to want to spend time with you.

[Anonymous]

I also would not want the awkwardness of them thinking we damaged something that we did not.

When friends in invite to their second home WITH them, I am very flattered and grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this thread fascinating! I do not have the means for a 2nd home. But if I did I would think one of the great parts and being able to share that with a friend. These are people who have been to the home before. They know where things are. You've seen them use your stuff. You're not losing money, the place is empty. Why wouldn't you say yes?

Translation: I don't have a vacation house but I will shamelessly mooch from wealthier friends who do have one. But we're so "fun," we're not leeches! And we'd bring a $50 bottle of wine, so it's not like we'd come empty-handed!



Delusional leeches are the most comical of all.

Agree. OP sounds like the type that wants to latch onto certain people until they say that they have had enough. And anyone else is likely done with OP. OP, do you really think people are stupid, and you can guilt them into believing your tired trope? People see right through you. You are not gracing them with your presence. If you want your family to have a vacation, you are going to have to pay for it yourself. And be a better human. You can't talk shyt about people, then expect them to want to spend time with you.

*Only those that own/run something that OP wants, of course. Great way to keep friends. /s.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you really think people are stupid, and you can guilt them into believing your tired trope? People see right through you. You are not gracing them with your presence. If you want your family to have a vacation, you are going to have to pay for it yourself. And be a better human. You can't talk shyt about people, then expect them to want to spend time with you.



Um What? I am the OP of this thread. I pay for my own vacations and have NEVER asked to stay at someone's vacation home. I don't "expect" anyone to spend time with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find this thread fascinating! I do not have the means for a 2nd home. But if I did I would think one of the great parts and being able to share that with a friend. These are people who have been to the home before. They know where things are. You've seen them use your stuff. You're not losing money, the place is empty. Why wouldn't you say yes?

People like you have no skin in the game and nothing of value anyone would want to use. Your laissez faire POV is that of a self-serving moocher or taker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, do you really think people are stupid, and you can guilt them into believing your tired trope? People see right through you. You are not gracing them with your presence. If you want your family to have a vacation, you are going to have to pay for it yourself. And be a better human. You can't talk shyt about people, then expect them to want to spend time with you.

Um What? I am the OP of this thread. I pay for my own vacations and have NEVER asked to stay at someone's vacation home. I don't "expect" anyone to spend time with me.

I think PP was talking about another PP who was clearly in the moocher category and was posting how hypothetically generous they’d be. Moochers are always so charitable — in spirit. And they all think they’re the most fun, charming and charismatic guests. They’re not like other guests… lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this thread fascinating! I do not have the means for a 2nd home. But if I did I would think one of the great parts and being able to share that with a friend. These are people who have been to the home before. They know where things are. You've seen them use your stuff. You're not losing money, the place is empty. Why wouldn't you say yes?

People like you have no skin in the game and nothing of value anyone would want to use. Your laissez faire POV is that of a self-serving moocher or taker.

I dont view my possessions and friendships as "skin in the game". I just think it's normal to share with people you like when you can do so. I have never asked anyone to use their property. I have been extended an invitation only once (I dont really run in circles where people own multiple homes). I would presume that someone wanted me use theie home, but also dont think its a huge sin to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this thread fascinating! I do not have the means for a 2nd home. But if I did I would think one of the great parts and being able to share that with a friend. These are people who have been to the home before. They know where things are. You've seen them use your stuff. You're not losing money, the place is empty. Why wouldn't you say yes?

People like you have no skin in the game and nothing of value anyone would want to use. Your laissez faire POV is that of a self-serving moocher or taker.

I dont view my possessions and friendships as "skin in the game". I just think it's normal to share with people you like when you can do so. I have never asked anyone to use their property. I have been extended an invitation only once (I dont really run in circles where people own multiple homes). I would presume that someone wanted me use theie home, but also dont think its a huge sin to ask.

Riiiight

[Anonymous]

Yes, we let close friends stay and growing up my family let close friends stay/family in my childhood vacation home as well. We don’t rent out. Not sure what the big deal is if it’s close friends/family and it’s a nice thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, we let close friends stay and growing up my family let close friends stay/family in my childhood vacation home as well. We don’t rent out. Not sure what the big deal is if it’s close friends/family and it’s a nice thing to do.

We also don't rent out and let close friends stay at least a week during prime time. Winter? Have at it. Our 2nd home is on the Cape. These are also the people who will take our kids for a week while we do a solo couples trip. We're not tit for tat people but I think it all evens out generally? Some of these people posting sound like they don't have friends at all beyond like the mom pickup line with their concerns about damage and mooching leachers. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think ppl aren’t understanding the question I originally asked.
Why does this feel odd to me?! Like we’re being asked to give them something that has monetary value. I would never ask this of someone. I don’t know why. We’re pretty good friends.

I’m just so grateful that I am not such an ungenerous person. I would happily share my blessings with people I call my friends, and it would never occur to me to think of them as takers or gimmes or whatever you are thinking about your so-called friends right now.

The love of money truly is the root of all evil.

Such a ridiculous and childish post. You clearly don't own anything of value and are jealous of people who have. It's incredibly rude for op's friends to ask and you weren't raised right if you don't see that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think ppl aren’t understanding the question I originally asked.
Why does this feel odd to me?! Like we’re being asked to give them something that has monetary value. I would never ask this of someone. I don’t know why. We’re pretty good friends.

I’m just so grateful that I am not such an ungenerous person. I would happily share my blessings with people I call my friends, and it would never occur to me to think of them as takers or gimmes or whatever you are thinking about your so-called friends right now.

The love of money truly is the root of all evil.

Such a ridiculous and childish post. You clearly don't own anything of value and are jealous of people who have. It's incredibly rude for op's friends to ask and you weren't raised right if you don't see that.

Also your quote re money being the root of all evil is stupid. People are the root of all evil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not odd.

We have several properties in Aspen, Hamptons, SF, and NYC. Our primary is MD.

Hard no for friends without us. Not friends and not siblings, or cousins etc no one.

The only time I let someone do this was after a loss of a child.

This is why there's a housing crisis in America.

Sigh. The absolute stupidity in some of these posts...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many people on DCUM just assume that others have bad intentions, including their close friends. That's weird to me. It's clear that OP doesn't want to let her friends stay there because she perceives that they're asking for a monetary gift (which I don't see, but whatever), and will dig her heels in farther and farther any time there is pushback. So you do you, OP. I think it will be awkward this way, but you seem prepared to deal with that.

I think the friends made it awkward.

+1 Same. You can tell who does not own a second home, by their responses. For instance, cleaning fees alone, during season are about $500. (no, I won't divulge where). This may be difficult for non-owners to grasp, especially since some people are of the "Robin Hood" mindset. It beats paying full rental price, but takers don't see it that way.

You really can't tell, because I'm one of the people who lets friends use our beach place. I couldn't tell you what cleaning fees are, because we do that ourselves (we're frugal, not rich). People often leave us gift cards for local restaurants, which is lovely, but not expected.

Wow you must have a lot of time and money to travel back and forth and take time off like that. Good for you!?

I have a F/T job at a nonprofit. If friends use our place, we deal with any cleanup the next time we go.

If it's really that much of an ordeal, you have the wrong friends.

More than likely you don't own anything or it's a dump.