What do you call your MIL?

[Anonymous]

In the early years I avoided calling her anything.

Later it was grandma, her first name. or occasionally Mom.

She passed away last year. The great things about my MIL is that she was never pushy. Whatever I wanted to call her or whatever role I wanted her to play in our lives was fine with her. My own mother died when I was a teen, so in many ways she really was like a mother to me (although I still found it weird to address her as mom).

I miss her.

[Anonymous]

Her first name or now, more often, her distinctive grandma name. Oddly, I do the same with my own mother.

I have never and will never call my ILs Mom and Dad. I already have a Mom and Dad. My husband follows suit with my parents.

[Anonymous]

Interesting topic. Im 44 and my DH and SIL acted like it was the "norm" to call in laws mom and dad. I never even considered it

MIL = First name for me.

INterestingly, my own mother preferred I call her by her first name. Highly unusual, but that is how she was.

She died 18 years ago. MIss her lots.

[Anonymous]

I don't. And it's awesome.

[Anonymous]

Helen.

[Anonymous]

My wife and I use "Mom" for our own mothers and their first names for our MILs.

[Anonymous]

I call her mom.

[Anonymous]

I bet it's a cultural thing. I'm Chinese and I call her mom.

[Anonymous]

Mom if I'm around my wife or my brother-in-law (her son). Her first name otherwise.

My wife normally uses my parents first names, although sometimes (rarely) uses Mom and Dad.

If the kids are around, we now use Grandma and Grandpa in Chinese for my parents and Grammy for my MIL.

[Anonymous]

First name. She asked me to call her by it, I started with Mrs. Lastname. I would feel odd calling her "mom" so I'm glad she didn't ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First name, although I wanted to call her Mrs.Jones. She felt it's important to inform me that she'll "never think of ber son's wife as her daugher" and her son "might get married more than once and she does not want to be called "mom" by all of these women". Sigh.

[Anonymous]

15:23 - no surprise here. That is something my MIL would say.

Some MILs are quite bitter and just looking for a target. Of course, they would never admit this. An exact example of what I did not ask for, and what I will never be. Some families have no room for more women, and they all but tell you to your face.

Personally, I am proud my husband knew enough choose someone so different from the nasty, sneaky, abusive women in his family.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Consequently, she has asked to be called by her first name. Better than my choices, I suppose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First name, although I wanted to call her Mrs.Jones. She felt it's important to inform me that she'll "never think of ber son's wife as her daugher" and her son "might get married more than once and she does not want to be called "mom" by all of these women". Sigh.

Wow! There are no other words. She's a piece of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I try to avoid calling her anything directly. Very rarely, if i have to, I'll call her "mom." I often call her Grandma, bc the kids are around almost always. The other DIL calls her mom and the SIL avoids calling her anything.

+1. This is exactly what I do. Although my Dh doesn't seem to have a problem calling my parents mom and dad.