moral/ethical dilemma regarding trust fund spending
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Anonymous
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In a somewhat similar situation, and am doing pretty much the same thing. A shorter commute is a dramatic quality of life improver for *everyone* in your family - as a PP pointed out, it is one of the few things you can buy that actually does improve happiness. Really, it's about the only way to 'buy' happiness - the 'elation' of any other purchase will where off, but while you will start to take the extra time for granted, you will still reap the benefits of that extra time.
Buy the house. |
Anonymous
| Do it. We're looking at houses now and considering just how much house compromise to make versus commute compromise. If you've got the option to make it no compromise, well, welcome to Arlington! A million will do you just fine here. |
Anonymous
| OP it doesn't really sound like you're actually wrestling with this. I'm not saying you should -- it's your money. But I have a feeling no matter what a bunch of anonymous DCUMers say, you've already decided what you are going to do. Just own it. No need to seek validation from Internet posters for something you've already decided. |
Anonymous
| You are so lucky. I'd do it in a heartbeat. You can't take it with you. Live in the NOW! Good luck and enjoy it, OP. |
Anonymous
I'm that PP. As I said, you do have to be patient, knowledgeable, and ready to pounce, and make your offer attractive. It sounds like OP is in a position to do all of those things. Out of those 20 bids, somebody does get the house! I know because we did. We had lost out on 3 houses before it and looked for over a year, but when we saw the right thing we knew how to make it happen and we did. $825K for a great, spacious, nicely-renovated house in one of the sought-after school elementary school areas that feeds to Yorktown. If you are desperate or don't do your homework, or your finances aren't strong, you will lose out on the better deals, but the idea that you have to spend a million dollars to not live in a hovel in N Arlington is pure hype. |
Anonymous
| Do it. Commute is a big deal. We bought close enough that it's a twenty minute slow walk to work. You'll be amazed how better life is w/o spending all that time in a car. |
Anonymous
| I think it's a dumb idea to take from the trust rather than live off the interest earned. That being said, it's probably one of many reasons your father is wealthy and you are not. If you want a bigger house, get a job first. |
Anonymous
| 18:28 I disagree. OP isn't using the trust for expenses. A home is a major investment. The house value could appreciate more than the trust, depending on how the trust is invested. Plus the intangible, more time with your family, is immeasurable. This is only for the down payment, too. |
Anonymous
| why is this a moral dilemma? count your blessings, OP. |
Anonymous
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OP, I say go for it. DH and I are going through something similar. He had 500k in a trust that we haven't touched. He was just given $2 million in a trust. We just got married a few months ago and cannot afford to buy a home for at least another 5 years, unless we dip into the trust.
He doesn't seem to keen on the idea, and we still need to research and meet with an advisor, but if were up to me I would say go for it in a heart beat. It could increase our qualify of life/stress live dramatically now AND later, instead of just later. |
Anonymous
| 19:26 Did you sign a pre-nup? |
Anonymous
No, we don't have any pre-nups in place. |
Anonymous
Yes, as long as you have money left for the other things you need and you are being responsible, use the money. I'm sure your life will be much better when dh's commute is shorter! When my mom died, I used part of my inheritance to buy the rental house next door. I'm sure she would have thought it was a good use of the money. |
Anonymous
If there were enough left over for college education for 2 kids, plus some extra for unforeseen disaster, yeah, I'd go for it. Of course, if you're feeling guilty, you can help me buy a house instead  . We can't afford the 800k houses, much less million dollar homes.
the only issue--and hesitate to bring this up as Debby Downer--is that right now the money belongs to you. If you take it out to put in in communal property, it is just that. Given that you are (right now) a SAHM, do just be sure that if something terrible and unforeseen happened and you and DH split, you'd be okay. |
Anonymous
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OP, this basically happened to me recently and I also had major hang-ups about it. My parents offered me $300K to help me sell my old house and purchase a more expensive house that would be closer to work. With the equity I had in my previous house, I basically went from a 500K house to an 800K house and my mortgage remained the same (300K).
I was stuck on whether to accept the gift for about 4-6 weeks and was really torn. In the process, I learned some good things about myself -- that is is hard for me to accept a gift, that I hate appearing spoiled, and that I want to "do it on my own" as much as possible. After chewing on that for several weeks, I also realized that getting a house closer to work would please my parents (my mom was getting a little anxious that a long commute was going to hurt my health - I know, a little nutty, but that's how she can be), as well as the fact that they would receive joy from seeing me enjoy the new house. I also realized it was a quality of life issue and that moving would benefit me for years to come. It still wasn't easy for me to accept the gift, but in the end I realized I'd be foolish if I didn't take it. Looking back now about 8 months later, it was a great decision. I now have a house I LOVE (instead of just like) and I can honestly see myself staying here the rest of my life. I know I'm tremendously blessed, and I am trying to share my home with others as much as I can because while I know on paper it is "mine" -- I don't really see it as mine. I see it as God's blessing and so I want to share it. |