moral/ethical dilemma regarding trust fund spending
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Anonymous
I agree. |
Anonymous
| I have a friend who inherited millions from her parents together with her sister. She has similar qualms. I told her that the reason her parents left them the money was because they loved them and wanted them to live a happier, less stressful life. Do it, OP, and don't feel guilty about it one more second! |
Anonymous
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Use the trust fund money and if it helps to appease your guilt, donate some cash to charity.
You really don't have anything to be guilty about though. |
Anonymous
Yeah, it's not like you're spending the money on hookers and blow. I wouldn't feel guilty about it in the least. |
Anonymous
| I think the problem is that you think you "need" a million dollars worth of house, and anything less would be absolutely horrendous and inconvenient. Luckily you're no longer on a beer budget. |
Anonymous
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Thanks everyone. Yes, many pps have hit some valid points-my father is still alive, and certainly he and my mother never lived a house this nice until they were much older than me; I don't want them to feel like just because the $$ is there, I want to spend it all. Yes, there are strictures on the trust-f/e, I can't go out and buy a ferrari with it, but certainly can be used for education, housing, etc. The main thing is just that it feels decadent to want to buy a house-an incredibly expensive house at that-when we've only been in our current house for 5 years, and don't really NEED a new house. As some pps have pointed out, 1.2 mil doesn't go super-far in McLean or Arlington these days, and that just seems ridiculous to spend that money just so DH can have a shorter commute.
But. It's there. And no, I can't take it with me. |
Anonymous
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Sorry, I would not be able to live in a shit shack in NoA or McL, so I would have to spend 1M+ on a home if I were to live there, which is why I don't (not to mention our commute from Reston to Reston is under a mile, in our sneakers)
Yea, if the shit hit the fan, we could live in a someone's basement, but given choices, no, I don't want to live in a shit shack, so like the OP, I would need to spend the money to get a polished turd. |
Anonymous
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OP,
Why don't you discuss this with your father or both parents? You'll clear the air, and feel much better. Go for it! |
Anonymous
| OP, this is neither a moral nor an ethical dilemma - it's a your hangup dilemma. As many others have said, this is a move that will greatly improve your quality of live, you're not emptyign the truse, there will be plenty left for emergencies or education. I'd do it in a heartbeat. |
Anonymous
| My financial planner is always talking about her other clients that are up to their eyeballs in debt (student loans, mortgage, cc) even though they have millions sitting in trust funds they can access today. People are so weird about money -- it's all the same color, OP! Use it! |
Anonymous
OP here. This is really what I should do. I just wanted to get a read from people here to see if I was being precious considering a house that amount with trust fund $$. The general consensus is no, so I will move forward with it. Now for some houses to come on the market! |
Anonymous
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Buying a million dollar house in N. Arlington is hardly some kind of crazy luxury. I speak as the owner of one such house. Yes, it is a nice house. But, to quote my mom when she first walked into my house "huh, this is not what you expect a million dollar house to look like, is it." So if your dilemma is that you don't want to seem profligate and throw money around on decadent luxuries, I can assure you you won't be. I'd equate buying a million dollar house in N. Arl to buying a nice Toyota Camry with some of the bells and whistles. It ain't a Mercedes.
And to the PP who suggested you buy an $800 K house, GOOD LUCK finding one in this market that doesn't have 20 other bids on it. |
Anonymous
Yep, you are so right (this is OP). I guess I should get over it! |
Anonymous
| Think of it this way - you aren't using the money to buy a house you are using the money to strengthen the bond between father and kids and to have more time as a family. What better use could there be for money? |
Anonymous
| If I were your father I would be upset that you keep talking about borrowing from the trust. Unless you're paying it back, you're not BORROWING. You are TAKING. I didn't read the entire thread, but didn't see where you said what your plans are for your current house - sell it? Rent it out? Figure that out and then go talk to your father. |