DC Urban Moms Farce
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Anonymous
ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! |
Anonymous
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Wow - I'm so excited as this is my very first post on a message board of any sort! You see - I live WAAAAYYY out in the suburbs - a tiny town called Rockville and we just got the internet! I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself!!!
And I am hearing rumors that CABLE television and INDOOR PLUMBING will also be coming to Rockville! Yahoo - it's like we're not living in some backwoods place anymore! Wait a second...oh, s&*%. This isn't my house. D&^*. I went into the wrong house again. It's so hard finding your house when they all look alike. Better go back to my car and drive around my cul-de-sac and hope I can find which house is mine. Hate when I do that - and I was having such a good day for finally getting the internet, too 
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Anonymous
| So, I am really confused. I thought that a Prius was supposed to have all these great benefits. I put it in the trunk of my massive SUV (limiting the space for things like my bugaboo, and Jimmy Choo's), and my gas mileage hasn't improved, and it is fact worse. Am I using the wrong battery connectors? I need to improve my MPG's because I have a swinger's convention this weekend, and schlep the 800lbs of pot brownies there, but only after I drop off the kids at mom's, and drive the nanny down to T.J. and help her smuggle in her brother. |
Anonymous
Don't you know that epidurals aren't a laughing matter? The male-dominated medical community is conspiring to rob women of their right to have a painful, awful birthing experience that we can brag about on the DCUM board for the rest of our lives. |
Anonymous
| My $4,000 custom bugaboo got stolen out of the back of my Mercedes when I took my 5-year old DS to Beauvoir for his interview. DS really liked it a lot and is very upset, but do you think I should sue the school? What will that do to my chances of getting in? What if I hire Ken Starr to represent me, will that help my application? |
Anonymous
Beauvoir? Did you get in? Waitlisted? Why won't they return MY calls!! |
Anonymous
| My 10 year old DS occasionally likes to shout and run around, so I'm thinking of holding off on kindergarten for a few more years until he's ready. Does anyone know when the cut-off date is for Montgomery County? |
Anonymous
What part of Montgomery County? |
Anonymous
Oh goody Ill join you  Not into the husband thing but I will be wearing my blue crocs, mad dog(?) t shirt and will compliment the buttons on your blouse while I offer you gum and hold your wrist...
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Anonymous
Just move to PG county. He will be the youngest, and top of his class. You do know that everyone who lives there sells drugs, right? |
Anonymous
I would love to come but I have a few issues. #1 U2 isn't exactly children's music and anyway we don't allow the children to listen to music. #2 my son only has flared pull up pants to wear which I have been told are gay looking so I need to go shopping first. #3 We do not eat cake because it contains sugar, milk, eggs and a lot of other stuff we don't eat, so if you could just serve bottled water, organic fresh fruits and veggies we will attend. Please note after we attend your party you will not receive a thank you note from us because its too formal, a waste of time and bad for the environment. Please let us know the date of the party, its at kiddville right? |
Anonymous
Did you use a consultant? If so, can you say which one? Did you buy the whole $4k package or just the one-time visit where he/she let you know exactly which schools would be THE BEST FIT for dc? |
Anonymous
| After Gymboree, MusicTogether, Kidsville, playgroup & Soccer class on Monday morning, my 2 month old was cranky, but i had no idea what to do with her. Our neighbor was outside with her 1 year old son (who was, by the way, only wearing a diaper) and they were apparently laughing and running with no apparent organized activity or group. I was bewildered at the sight so I asked her whether this behavior was more of a Montessori, New Math, or play-based approach & how she got the curriculum for home. I offered to bring her & her son as guests on my pool membership for a swim class, but she stated that they were just fine with what she referred to as a "sprinkler". So strange. I have a call into National Geographic so they could do a documentary on this neighbor. |
Anonymous
Rockville???? Never heard of it. What school district is it in? What are the scores? What elementary school does the preschool feed into? Never mind, I'd rather pay 25K for our preschool. I hear it is a guaranteed way to get into HArvard! And how could you possibly get cable!?! According to the CIA, TTC and DOT, tv is BAD for kids. FWIW, I heard from my MIL, who heard it from her SIL (who WAH and EBF because that is the only way to go (IMHO)) that tv causes kids to *swing* (GASP!) and vote for Obama (even though his wife is a b*tch). By the way, if you ever make it into the big city with your kids, call me on my blackberry (you do have phones, don't you?). My kids are 38 mos. old, 48 mos old and 58 mos old. I had them 10 months apart because that's what the DCUM moms told me is best. By the way, don't take metro into DC, babies aren't allowed on it. We have some great parks in DC - the kids love chasing the rats and knocking down the nannys. And we even be lucky enough to find a park with a little arsenic in it! |
Anonymous
| You just made the fatal mistake of RSVPing in a timely way. |