DC Urban Moms Farce
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Anonymous
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-I saw your Nanny outside of a skeezy location talking about PUBLIC SCHOOLS to your children. The blonde little girl with blue topaz eyes was wearing a Le Top shirt with Nordstrom pants and Robeez shoes (not knock-offs). They were sitting outside of the new Kidville in Rockville.
-My newborn has interesting stool…is this normal? It has blue specks on the lower portion and has lumpy consistency throughout the upper half. It smelled like pears and had a core temperature of 93.6 & I ran it through my DNA tester & it is unclear what the makeup is. Should I call my pediatrician? -Anyone have a good referral for a pediatric nephro-radiologist/nutritionist/acupuncturist for a 3.56 year old who spends a lot of time underwater? -My child is not breathing & has no pulse. Should I call a doctor? -It has 3 hours since I submitted my application for my embryo to Sidwell for preschool & I have not heard anything. I am afraid she will never get into Harvard. Anyone else in the same boat? -My husband never listens to me, plays with the 12 children, or even knows their names. I asked him to change a diaper the other day & he asked me what a diaper was. I am now pregnant with quadruplets & wanted advice from other moms on what they have done. -I am a partner in a local lawfirm & only make $925,000. I see my kids on Sunday afternoons from 6:25 to 6:35 pm. I wondering if anyone knows how I may be able to cut expenses (or which house I should rent out) so that I could go part time. |
Anonymous
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I like you.
Would you like to swing? |
Anonymous
| Love it...Will you come to my son's 1st birthday party? U2 is performing. |
Anonymous
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OMG, I am CRYING from laughing so hard at my desk and trying to make sure my boss doesn't hear me!
-Stuck at my decidely NOT $925k a year job. |
Anonymous
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Seems as if everyone is in a festive mood.
I'll work on getting some good pot over the lunchbreak and would be happy to share - either the pot or my husband. |
Anonymous
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My 10 month old has just finished reading War and Peace, in the original Russian, and I'm really afraid that the montesorri infant program that I've enrolled him in is not challenging enough.
Does anybody have any suggestions on how to nurture this obviously exceptionally talented and gifted child? |
Anonymous
| how can you send your 10 month old to a school to be cared for by STRANGERS??????????????? |
Anonymous
Beauvoir? |
Anonymous
| This is fabulous. Thank you for a good laugh. |
Anonymous
| LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep them coming please!!! |
Anonymous
| I was thinking of no longer being a SAHM, quitting breastfeeding, and not co-sleeping. I also wanted to start using plastic bottles with BPA, but I am having trouble finding any. Nobody I know has any opinion on any of this. Anyone here have any thoughts? |
Anonymous
| You are obviously a SAHM that lives in the suburbs and secretly wish that you lived in the city so you can complain about yourself. You also drive an SUV, own a overpriced stroller that you never use and have no idea that Hillary dropped out of the race because you are worried about your yellow toenails and why your 2 week old baby doesn't sleep through the night yet. |
Anonymous
| My son is 25, is still breastfeeding & cosleeping. It is starting to get in the way of my professional life & my marriage. Any thoughts? |
Anonymous
What? Uptight, under-sexed, status reaching, not pretty even by DC standards DCUMs can be capable of some levity. Only some. Now, really, what happened at that Beauvoir meeting the other night? |
Anonymous
| I have a 3 week old, and before she was born we decided to let her CIO. No way that little bugger was going to manipulate us. Well, it's been 3 weeks and she's STILL crying. What the F is wrong with her? |