Took DD to a neuropsych eval…. Was diagnosed with a personality disorder instead

[Anonymous]

THIS IS WHAT AUTISM LOOKS LIKE IN GIRLS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here are some examples you wrote,
love bombing to get a friend, but when the chase is done, there is no need for a friend.
She doesn't listen to others and loves to hear herself talk.
Rejection issues are all personal; I bet you it is never her fault, right?
Are you worried about setting her off? Are you feeling like walking on eggshells a lot?
Is everyone stupid or mean to her?
How much does she lie? Is the reality what she wants it to be?
How often does she admit she is at fault or wrong?
Look into NPD some more, then realize that this is the worst sentence you and your DH got for your child.
I hope it is not NPD; your lives will forever be a living hell. She is your child, so you can't discard her, and she knows it.

what kind of thing is this to say or write to anyone. are you sure YOU don't have NPD? this is not ok.

[Anonymous]

My DD received a surprise (to me) BPD diagnosis when I expected ASD. It’s been a few years now and I can say that one thing that really confirmed it for me was that the treatment recommended by the psychologist was the only thing that really helped in YEARS of various therapies, medications, residential treatment stays, etc. Use this as a map and see if it gets you to a better place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i have an audhd boy and i see how the asd traits mixed with the rejection sensitivity dysphoria could come across as NPD or BPD and maybe they could even become that or are that... it's very very hard to parse all these things out.
I would get a second opinion if i were you. the difference would be if the evaluator thinks your dd can absolutely turn on the charm if needed and has social fluency, but doesn't want to. npd is notorious for being socially fluent as needed.

OP here. This is interesting. The psych told us that ASD is unlikely as DD has a lot of cognitive empathy but little/no emotional empathy. She told us that DD was excellent at reading people's emotions based off of situational awareness/verbal contexts, but performed very poorly on guessing people's emotions based on a test of people's faces under different emotional circumstances.

That sounds very consistent with autism, especially for someone smart enough to have learned certain social rules over the years.

but (not op but pp) my ds has not 'learned' this. Has been inherent and evident since he was 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD received a surprise (to me) BPD diagnosis when I expected ASD. It’s been a few years now and I can say that one thing that really confirmed it for me was that the treatment recommended by the psychologist was the only thing that really helped in YEARS of various therapies, medications, residential treatment stays, etc. Use this as a map and see if it gets you to a better place.

what was the treatment?

[Anonymous]

I do think that seeing 'NPD' everywhere is a new and very american thing. It's especially common among women referring to their mothers or women referring to their ex dhs. I'm not saying it's not accurate exactly but NPD is a very extreme dx and i think a lot of people attribute it where someone is actually just an a****** .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:THIS IS WHAT AUTISM LOOKS LIKE IN GIRLS.

THIS IS ALSO WHAT NPD LOOKS LIKE

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get the sense that you don't want the personality disorder diagnoses to be true, so you would much rather her had ADHD or autism as those are more accepted and can sometimes be medicated with great results.

A second opinion can't hurt, but, it also doesn't sound like this doctor do a shoddy job of conducting assessments, you just don't like the result.

If your DD is a covert narc, you are totally screwed and that is likely scaring you enough to convince yourself that the diagnosis is incorrect.

If it is NPD and BPD, the doctor is correct in that she needs intensive therapy, possibly CBT or DBT and hopefully she can become a somewhat better person. I have a mother with NPD and a best friend I am slowly trying to detach from that has BPD. I understand not wanting to believe the diagnosis because you can't just abandon your child and those are personality disorders that often do not get better, even with therapy.

OP here, what makes you say this? Almost every other post here is encouraging DD to get a second evaluation and is telling me that she almost certainly has AuDHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here are some examples you wrote,
love bombing to get a friend, but when the chase is done, there is no need for a friend.
She doesn't listen to others and loves to hear herself talk.
Rejection issues are all personal; I bet you it is never her fault, right?
Are you worried about setting her off? Are you feeling like walking on eggshells a lot?
Is everyone stupid or mean to her?
How much does she lie? Is the reality what she wants it to be?
How often does she admit she is at fault or wrong?
Look into NPD some more, then realize that this is the worst sentence you and your DH got for your child.
I hope it is not NPD; your lives will forever be a living hell. She is your child, so you can't discard her, and she knows it.

OP here. Yes, minus the lying part, many of these apply to her. DH and I always feel like walking on eggshells around DD -- isn't that a frequent sign of either BPD or ASD? I know a lot of parents of autistic kids have to tiptoe around their kids in case they have an autistic meltdown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD received a surprise (to me) BPD diagnosis when I expected ASD. It’s been a few years now and I can say that one thing that really confirmed it for me was that the treatment recommended by the psychologist was the only thing that really helped in YEARS of various therapies, medications, residential treatment stays, etc. Use this as a map and see if it gets you to a better place.

what was the treatment?

In our case, residential DBT treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get the sense that you don't want the personality disorder diagnoses to be true, so you would much rather her had ADHD or autism as those are more accepted and can sometimes be medicated with great results.

A second opinion can't hurt, but, it also doesn't sound like this doctor do a shoddy job of conducting assessments, you just don't like the result.

If your DD is a covert narc, you are totally screwed and that is likely scaring you enough to convince yourself that the diagnosis is incorrect.

If it is NPD and BPD, the doctor is correct in that she needs intensive therapy, possibly CBT or DBT and hopefully she can become a somewhat better person. I have a mother with NPD and a best friend I am slowly trying to detach from that has BPD. I understand not wanting to believe the diagnosis because you can't just abandon your child and those are personality disorders that often do not get better, even with therapy.

OP here, what makes you say this? Almost every other post here is encouraging DD to get a second evaluation and is telling me that she almost certainly has AuDHD.

Not the PP you are replying to but you are comparing the opinion of a neuropsychologist who specializes in autism in girls and examined and assessed your daughter to the recommendations of internet strangers with varied personal experiences with special needs based only on a list of characteristics that is filtered through your perception of what you think her diagnoses are.

I would find a specialist in personality disorders and see what their impression is from the report and from personally assessing your DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here are some examples you wrote,
love bombing to get a friend, but when the chase is done, there is no need for a friend.
She doesn't listen to others and loves to hear herself talk.
Rejection issues are all personal; I bet you it is never her fault, right?
Are you worried about setting her off? Are you feeling like walking on eggshells a lot?
Is everyone stupid or mean to her?
How much does she lie? Is the reality what she wants it to be?
How often does she admit she is at fault or wrong?
Look into NPD some more, then realize that this is the worst sentence you and your DH got for your child.
I hope it is not NPD; your lives will forever be a living hell. She is your child, so you can't discard her, and she knows it.

OP here. Yes, minus the lying part, many of these apply to her. DH and I always feel like walking on eggshells around DD -- isn't that a frequent sign of either BPD or ASD? I know a lot of parents of autistic kids have to tiptoe around their kids in case they have an autistic meltdown.

DP. Yes, these are frequent with BPD and several other disorders ranging from FASD and PTSD, especially at 21. Get a 2nd opinion. You'll likely have to try several different therapies for her to find a good fit. No matter what it is, she will mellow out as she approaches 30 or in her 30s. She's got a great mom to make sure she gets the support she needs and she will be okay. You're in the thick of it right now. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THIS IS WHAT AUTISM LOOKS LIKE IN GIRLS.

THIS IS ALSO WHAT NPD LOOKS LIKE

NO.

[Anonymous]

ASD is more common than NPD and BPD. Naturally more people here would have experience with ASD.

Get the second eval if you feel something is off, but trust someone in person evaluating your child over the posters here imo. What people are saying about ASD and cluster B personalities is really reductive. The two are very different but it’s hard to get that across in writing.

I don’t have experience with NPD, but what you’ve written sounds like BPD is a possibility imo. If it is is BPD, the comments on failure to launch aren’t fear mongering. Therapy (like dbt therapy) now, while your child is willing to do it, is important. Your child may not chill at age 30; BPD is a lifelong struggle.

FWIW, you’re not alone, OP. This is hard and scary. I wish you the best and hope you find the right help for your child, whatever the diagnosis ends up being.

[Anonymous]

Get a second opinion before you do anything.