Took DD to a neuropsych eval…. Was diagnosed with a personality disorder instead
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Anonymous
it does matter because the behavior is different. For example, I never had an autistic person deliberately ruin another person’s wedding through a calculated series of actions. But I sure know a BPD person who did that! |
Anonymous
I’m sorry that you have experienced this. It sounds very difficult. But your use of deliberate and calculated indicate that you don’t understand what drives BPD behavior. |
Anonymous
Seriously - why does that matter? I originally brought this up to discuss how the type of socially dysfunctional behavior is very different in autism vs BPD. And yes that hinges on how it is received. With autism it’s generally awkward or offputting or “inappropriate” and sometimes blunt/insulting. With BPD it’s things like direct and vivid attacks on you personally, efforts to disrupt relationships, baseless accusations, etc. |
Anonymous
I've seen the very same thing caused by a person with BPD. I think weddings are seen as a great stage for attention seekers. |
Anonymous
DP. BPD drama tends to exceed "mild drama" quite regularly. |
Anonymous
This does sound a lot like borderline personality disorder, and if your neuropsych is as well respected as you say, I would, speaking as a psychiatrist, believe it. As someone else pointed out don't focus on how you feel about the diagnosis, focus rather on getting the person the help they need. |
Anonymous
| See a psychiatrist, physician. |
Anonymous
what drives BPD behavior? |
Anonymous
I totally agree but this is not that. DCUM complaining about XH is very different from a trained neuropsychologist making a diagnosis. |
Anonymous
I am not sure about it. Narcs I know are lying on purpose and hurting people on purpose. Yes, it is to soothe their pathetic egos, but they are aware deep inside that they are the problem and choose not to address it. |
Anonymous
You hit the nail on the head. Around here, everyone is an expert on everything. People think they know more about mental health diagnoses than those who studied and trained for years and who saw hundreds, maybe thousands, with the diagnoses over their years of study and practice. But it doesn’t end with that. People who have never worked in education think they know more about running massive school systems, writing curriculums and educating kids than those who have education, training and experience in those fields. It goes on and on. I get that BPD is a tough diagnosis to hear - I am one of the PPs who has a child with that diagnosis, among others. And, it’s a shock to hear. But really, when you go to a well respected, well educated, highly experienced diagnostician and undergo objective testing, well, it’s time to put aside your own sadness and disappointment and get your child the help they need rather than poking holes in the diagnosis and letting your child flounder while you come to terms with your disappointment, disbelief, embarrassment or whatever. And, I do get that in a minute number of cases, the diagnosis will be wrong. But that comes out during treatment and then there is regrouping and revamping. Continuing to shop for the diagnosis you want or that your untrained mind thinks you see just delays helping your child. And, at age 21, there’s already so much wasted time and it’s really hard to get your kid on track so there is actual harm to the delay. I mean, the goal is really to get your kid to the point where they can live an independent, happy and successful life, especially after you are not here to take care of them and at 21, you’re at the end of your influence if you even have any left at all. |
Anonymous
My mom has BPD and behaves horribly at and around weddings. But it's not "attention-seeking" behavior. It's a trauma response triggered by having a lot of family around, and engaging in events that make her think about her own past. To someone who didn't know her, it would seem manic, self-absorbed, rude, difficult. She desperately doesn't want to be any of those things, but cannot control her emotions to these events. And her desire not to be rude or unkind often compounds her bad behavior, because once she's done something problematic, her shame will then drive her to do progressively worse things to try and "fix" it. Her shame is so intense that she will do things that are deeply selfish and disruptive because she needs to be validated/forgiven as quickly as possible. There has been quite a bit of research into BPD that indicates it may be caused by childhood trauma or narcissistic abuse. By the way, my dad has NPD. He also experienced severe trauma as a child. People with BPD are made, not born. I'm not suggesting OP is an abusive parent, but if her DD has BPD, there may be traumatic events from her childhood that went unaddressed, and the BPD could be a maladaptive response. |
Anonymous
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I’m sorry, OP. All of this sounds like ADHD. And maybe a little autism. Dud they really rude those out??
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Anonymous
Yes, sure we get it. However, for each person that is rude, annoying and has BPD due to trauma, millions of others had the same or worse upbringing but are not abusive to others. SO, no it is still an excuse and there is no excuse for abusing others. |
Anonymous
Doesn’t add up to me either. Maybe this is a troll post. Several things are Off in the original post. |