Mom forgets coffee in microwave multiple times a week

[Anonymous]

Why did you move in with your mom after your dad died? Did you live on your own before? Are you in a transitional phase in your own life at this time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you move in with your mom after your dad died? Did you live on your own before? Are you in a transitional phase in your own life at this time?

I lived a few hours away on my own before and my mom has never lived in her own before. My brother lives in the same city but he’s very hands-off; I was the one who helped my parents financially and frequently checked-in on them. My mom didn’t want to live alone and she had a mortgage that she couldn’t afford so I moved in to cover that but more importantly because she didn’t want to be alone.

[Anonymous]

Get it checked out. It could be the start of dementia, hopefully not.

[Anonymous]

Buy the woman a kuerig

[Anonymous]

The forgetting about Thanksgiving seems more problematic than forgetting the coffee, but they might both be signs of something bigger. I agree that screening can be important. My mom was initially diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment, and now Alzheimers in her 70s. The screening gives an important baseline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you move in with your mom after your dad died? Did you live on your own before? Are you in a transitional phase in your own life at this time?

I lived a few hours away on my own before and my mom has never lived in her own before. My brother lives in the same city but he’s very hands-off; I was the one who helped my parents financially and frequently checked-in on them. My mom didn’t want to live alone and she had a mortgage that she couldn’t afford so I moved in to cover that but more importantly because she didn’t want to be alone.

I say this kindly, is it at all possible that you are looking for a reason that your mom needs you as a caregiver right now? Maybe to “justify” to others, or even yourself, the idea of you living with your mom?

Your mom sounds busy and very active for someone her age, and the incidents you’ve mentioned just don’t sound that concerning to those of us who have dealt with older parents and dementia. So maybe something else is going on here.

Just something to give thought to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you move in with your mom after your dad died? Did you live on your own before? Are you in a transitional phase in your own life at this time?

I lived a few hours away on my own before and my mom has never lived in her own before. My brother lives in the same city but he’s very hands-off; I was the one who helped my parents financially and frequently checked-in on them. My mom didn’t want to live alone and she had a mortgage that she couldn’t afford so I moved in to cover that but more importantly because she didn’t want to be alone.

I say this kindly, is it at all possible that you are looking for a reason that your mom needs you as a caregiver right now? Maybe to “justify” to others, or even yourself, the idea of you living with your mom?

Your mom sounds busy and very active for someone her age, and the incidents you’ve mentioned just don’t sound that concerning to those of us who have dealt with older parents and dementia. So maybe something else is going on here.

Just something to give thought to.

She would call me crying about living alone and feeling lonely, so no.

I moved from the city to Farmville, Va - this is not something that I wanted.

[Anonymous]

She has dementia. She’s 69. It’s not normal. Get her a neurology consult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving the drink in the microwave isn’t cause for concern. I’m in my 50s and have been doing this sort of thing for decades.

Multiple times a week though?

DP. Yes, because I like my coffee hot and will reheat the mug several times a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop looking for problems both me and my spouse in our 40s do this. Not a big deal. You are completely overreacting. Wondering if you have any real problems going on in your life right now...

You are wrong. My MIL had early-onset dementia at that age. I wish we knew so we could have moved her closer to us and gotten her more help sooner. We thought it was depression and anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop looking for problems both me and my spouse in our 40s do this. Not a big deal. You are completely overreacting. Wondering if you have any real problems going on in your life right now...

You are wrong. My MIL had early-onset dementia at that age. I wish we knew so we could have moved her closer to us and gotten her more help sooner. We thought it was depression and anxiety.

Yes, early onset dementia does happen, but it is not common. Lots of people leave their coffee or tea in the microwave, yes, even multiple time per week, and they don’t have dementia. Every person that forgets simple things is not on the downward slope of dementia- some are, but most are not.

[Anonymous]

trust your instinct and try to get her in to see her doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you move in with your mom after your dad died? Did you live on your own before? Are you in a transitional phase in your own life at this time?

I lived a few hours away on my own before and my mom has never lived in her own before. My brother lives in the same city but he’s very hands-off; I was the one who helped my parents financially and frequently checked-in on them. My mom didn’t want to live alone and she had a mortgage that she couldn’t afford so I moved in to cover that but more importantly because she didn’t want to be alone.

I say this kindly, is it at all possible that you are looking for a reason that your mom needs you as a caregiver right now? Maybe to “justify” to others, or even yourself, the idea of you living with your mom?

Your mom sounds busy and very active for someone her age, and the incidents you’ve mentioned just don’t sound that concerning to those of us who have dealt with older parents and dementia. So maybe something else is going on here.

Just something to give thought to.

She would call me crying about living alone and feeling lonely, so no.

I moved from the city to Farmville, Va - this is not something that I wanted.

Have you lived alone most of your adult life? Maybe you are just not used to living with others so little things like the beep of the microwave really bother you. It’s hard to get accustomed to sharing living space with another person when you are used to having complete control over your space.

[Anonymous]

I have a mug that says "If found in microwave return to Mom"

I heat it, get distracted and there it stays.

Of all the examples you could pick, that is not a good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you move in with your mom after your dad died? Did you live on your own before? Are you in a transitional phase in your own life at this time?

I lived a few hours away on my own before and my mom has never lived in her own before. My brother lives in the same city but he’s very hands-off; I was the one who helped my parents financially and frequently checked-in on them. My mom didn’t want to live alone and she had a mortgage that she couldn’t afford so I moved in to cover that but more importantly because she didn’t want to be alone.

I say this kindly, is it at all possible that you are looking for a reason that your mom needs you as a caregiver right now? Maybe to “justify” to others, or even yourself, the idea of you living with your mom?

Your mom sounds busy and very active for someone her age, and the incidents you’ve mentioned just don’t sound that concerning to those of us who have dealt with older parents and dementia. So maybe something else is going on here.

Just something to give thought to.

She would call me crying about living alone and feeling lonely, so no.

I moved from the city to Farmville, Va - this is not something that I wanted.

Have you lived alone most of your adult life? Maybe you are just not used to living with others so little things like the beep of the microwave really bother you. It’s hard to get accustomed to sharing living space with another person when you are used to having complete control over your space.

Why are you harping on my living habits? I’m not annoyed by the beeping. I was concerned because of the frequency and her not realizing for many hours that something in there even though is in ear shot of the beeping.

My brother was concerned. I’m concerned. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.