Mom forgets coffee in microwave multiple times a week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t forget their coffee in the microwave several times a week?

Also, the older you get, the more quickly each year seems to go by, and, the more Thanksgivings (or whatever holiday) you have experienced. It’s possibly not at all odd to get one year mixed up with another at her age.

If she’s teaching online regularly and enjoying political discussions, she must be pretty cognitively with it. What is your main concern about her?

My brother called me concerned a few days ago. He sees her about once a week and is the hands-off child, so him calling me concerned was kind of alarming. I had been worried before talking to him so we both felt something was off, so that made me even more concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop looking for problems both me and my spouse in our 40s do this. Not a big deal. You are completely overreacting. Wondering if you have any real problems going on in your life right now...

Don’t be a winch.

I’m concerned about my mother and so is my brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you live with your mother? Why are you at her house so frequently that the microwave beep bothers you so much?

I do live with her. I moved in last year after my father died.

[Anonymous]

Never too early to start

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[Anonymous]

I’m 46, forget my coffee in microwave all the time.

[Anonymous]

Does she lose things?

[Anonymous]

Ok a few things. She sounds like she is doing a lot. Working, grieving, child living at home, hosting large family gatherings, etc. She also may have some hearing loss and just general getting older issues.

With my mom there were alarming signs like getting lost trying to drive home from church which she had done for 40+ years. Finding her phone in the fridge. Those sorts of things which were eye opening.

[Anonymous]

Based on my experience, I think you’re overreacting. I’m 45 and have pretty severe ADHD and I do stuff like that all the time. I have trouble with keeping track of time or remembering when things happened, so even if I remember where a thing happened, it might feel like it happened at a different time than when it really happened. I’m not in cognitive decline, it’s just something I struggle with. Did I put the item in the microwave 5 minutes ago or 2 hours ago? Who can say? Beeping? Background noise. I tune things out so I can focus on the task at hand, so beeping won’t register with me until I can switch tasks and deal with whatever is beeping.

I’ve often wondered how my family will be able to tell if I ever do develop dementia, at least in the early stages. That’s actually how I found out I have ADHD. I struggled so much with memory and executive functioning so much I thought I was developing dementia and had a screening appointment with my doctor. Thank goodness it wasn’t that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she lose things?

Almost daily but I miss stuff frequently so that doesn’t worry me that much. Now she does lose her debit card about twice a month. She’s been receiving Ipsy bags for about 2 years, so around upwards of 120 items and she can only find about 6 of those items (just learned of this two days ago).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on my experience, I think you’re overreacting. I’m 45 and have pretty severe ADHD and I do stuff like that all the time. I have trouble with keeping track of time or remembering when things happened, so even if I remember where a thing happened, it might feel like it happened at a different time than when it really happened. I’m not in cognitive decline, it’s just something I struggle with. Did I put the item in the microwave 5 minutes ago or 2 hours ago? Who can say? Beeping? Background noise. I tune things out so I can focus on the task at hand, so beeping won’t register with me until I can switch tasks and deal with whatever is beeping.

I’ve often wondered how my family will be able to tell if I ever do develop dementia, at least in the early stages. That’s actually how I found out I have ADHD. I struggled so much with memory and executive functioning so much I thought I was developing dementia and had a screening appointment with my doctor. Thank goodness it wasn’t that.

My brother and I have ADHD (got it from our dad). I do everything you’re saying and need vyvanse to function. , my mother is definitely not adhd.

Again, the fact that my brother called me concerned as well is what really made me worried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on my experience, I think you’re overreacting. I’m 45 and have pretty severe ADHD and I do stuff like that all the time. I have trouble with keeping track of time or remembering when things happened, so even if I remember where a thing happened, it might feel like it happened at a different time than when it really happened. I’m not in cognitive decline, it’s just something I struggle with. Did I put the item in the microwave 5 minutes ago or 2 hours ago? Who can say? Beeping? Background noise. I tune things out so I can focus on the task at hand, so beeping won’t register with me until I can switch tasks and deal with whatever is beeping.

I’ve often wondered how my family will be able to tell if I ever do develop dementia, at least in the early stages. That’s actually how I found out I have ADHD. I struggled so much with memory and executive functioning so much I thought I was developing dementia and had a screening appointment with my doctor. Thank goodness it wasn’t that.

My brother and I have ADHD (got it from our dad). I do everything you’re saying and need vyvanse to function. , my mother is definitely not adhd.

Again, the fact that my brother called me concerned as well is what really made me worried.

It could be hearing loss like others are saying though.

[Anonymous]

I think the rule of thumb is that if you're forgetting events and people of the past, it is fine. If you are forgetting your own name, or where you live, then it's a problem.

She sounds very normal for a woman that age. Given that she is teaching I suspect she'll be more cognitively astute than many of her peers.

[Anonymous]

Get her hearing checked and get her hearing aids if she needs them. Studies showing that hearing loss can lead to dementia.

https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2021/hearing-loss-and-the-dementia-connection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok a few things. She sounds like she is doing a lot. Working, grieving, child living at home, hosting large family gatherings, etc. She also may have some hearing loss and just general getting older issues.

With my mom there were alarming signs like getting lost trying to drive home from church which she had done for 40+ years. Finding her phone in the fridge. Those sorts of things which were eye opening.

She put her dentures in the China cabinet during Christmas two years ago. She took them out and was putting away something and we couldn’t find them for weeks. She called me crying because my dad said she’s always forgetting things and said if she has dementia to put her in a home. I just thought that was absentmindedly putting them in wrong place so I wasn’t worried and told her that.

[Anonymous]

Very common for busy people to do this. It is the trademark of our closest family friend. When my wife visits them, she can count on finding coffee in the microwave. Been happening for 20 years.