Feeling guilty because I hate breastfeeding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 on seeing a lactation consultant. However, in my experience, the mantra that it shouldn’t hurt if baby is latching properly was not true. I’ve breastfed three babies, including my current 1 yo, and it took a good 3-4 weeks every time for the discomfort to ease and a good routine to be established. I did not end up supplementing but would’ve had zero qualms doing so. I also found it useful to introduce a bottle within the first 6-8 weeks, even if just occasionally, so the baby can do both.

OP here. It doesn’t hurt that much. It’s sore and sometimes painful but nothing that is too difficult.

For me it’s the latching. He will latch, eat, unlatch, etc. It happens often throughout a nursing session. I’m not sure why but he pulls off, will cry while trying to latch on again. He will eat and be content and then it happens again.

He also falls asleep during nursing and I have to keep waking him up. I know this is normal at this age.

Nursing takes about 1 hour each time because he keeps unlatching and falls asleep. He doesn’t actively eat for 1 hour straight. He would probably take 20-30 minutes to eat if he didn’t unlatch and fall asleep.

[Anonymous]

Was he born full term?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 on seeing a lactation consultant. However, in my experience, the mantra that it shouldn’t hurt if baby is latching properly was not true. I’ve breastfed three babies, including my current 1 yo, and it took a good 3-4 weeks every time for the discomfort to ease and a good routine to be established. I did not end up supplementing but would’ve had zero qualms doing so. I also found it useful to introduce a bottle within the first 6-8 weeks, even if just occasionally, so the baby can do both.

OP here. It doesn’t hurt that much. It’s sore and sometimes painful but nothing that is too difficult.

For me it’s the latching. He will latch, eat, unlatch, etc. It happens often throughout a nursing session. I’m not sure why but he pulls off, will cry while trying to latch on again. He will eat and be content and then it happens again.

He also falls asleep during nursing and I have to keep waking him up. I know this is normal at this age.

Nursing takes about 1 hour each time because he keeps unlatching and falls asleep. He doesn’t actively eat for 1 hour straight. He would probably take 20-30 minutes to eat if he didn’t unlatch and fall asleep.

Could it be too much flow causing his fussiness? I found the sidelying position works best for that, some milk can dribble out. I lie on my side, bottom arm straight out in front of me, baby head under armpit tilted slightly back, our bellies facing eachother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was he born full term?

OP here. He was born 39 weeks 5 days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 on seeing a lactation consultant. However, in my experience, the mantra that it shouldn’t hurt if baby is latching properly was not true. I’ve breastfed three babies, including my current 1 yo, and it took a good 3-4 weeks every time for the discomfort to ease and a good routine to be established. I did not end up supplementing but would’ve had zero qualms doing so. I also found it useful to introduce a bottle within the first 6-8 weeks, even if just occasionally, so the baby can do both.

OP here. It doesn’t hurt that much. It’s sore and sometimes painful but nothing that is too difficult.

For me it’s the latching. He will latch, eat, unlatch, etc. It happens often throughout a nursing session. I’m not sure why but he pulls off, will cry while trying to latch on again. He will eat and be content and then it happens again.

He also falls asleep during nursing and I have to keep waking him up. I know this is normal at this age.

Nursing takes about 1 hour each time because he keeps unlatching and falls asleep. He doesn’t actively eat for 1 hour straight. He would probably take 20-30 minutes to eat if he didn’t unlatch and fall asleep.

Could it be too much flow causing his fussiness? I found the sidelying position works best for that, some milk can dribble out. I lie on my side, bottom arm straight out in front of me, baby head under armpit tilted slightly back, our bellies facing eachother.

OP here. I do have leaky breasts but I’m not sure. I have tried multiple positions and he does it with each one.

[Anonymous]

My oldest is 16 years old. I hated breastfeeding and stopped when he was 5 weeks old. I felt guilty, but I was so much more relaxed and better able to enjoy my baby once I stopped breastfeeding. He is now a strong and healthy teenager and we have a wonderful, close relationship. I wish I hadn’t wasted my time feeling guilty. It’s okay to breastfeed AND it’s okay to not breastfeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:and had such high hopes. He’s decent at nursing but takes a long time and is often finicky at the breast. Most nursing sessions take up to 1 hour with him pulling off and having to latch him again while he screams and cries. He falls asleep so much and I have to keep waking him up to make him eat. This process is about 1 hour long every 1.5-2 hours around the clock. Some nights he eats every 30-45 minutes for several hours. It’s so exhausting and I’m about to just give up. I feel like I can’t even get a break to shower or eat. I’m not sure I’m cut out for this breastfeeding thing. I think I need to switch to pumping or formula but I feel so guilty because breast milk is superior and best for him.

A happy, relaxed, mother is better than breast milk. Switch to formula.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:CALORIES are what's best for him! He's going to be eating chicken nuggets and doritos at birthday parties in a couple years anyways. Stop beating yourself up and get some damn formula.

AMEN

[Anonymous]

OP here. What formula do you recommend? Will I still make milk if I breastfeed or pump only half of the time?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m not sure I’m ready to throw in the towel completely but I would like to make it more manageable. I’m thinking I could go longer between feedings at night and give formula during part of the day. I might even try pumping and see if I prefer it. I might feel better if I can pump every 3-4 hours.

[Anonymous]

Switch to formula. You'll both be happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. What formula do you recommend? Will I still make milk if I breastfeed or pump only half of the time?

Yes, but your supply will go down. Breasts are magical - the more you use the milk, the more your body makes milk. The less milk you get out of your breasts (whether through nursing or pumping) the less you produce.

[Anonymous]

Op that’s the fastest way for you to lose the weight and get your tummy back in shape. Some say it helps the baby too 😜

[Anonymous]

OP- I posted almost the exact thing 7+ years ago with my first child.

The first two weeks were the worst. Then the next two weeks we’re still bad but slightly better. We ended up doing a procedure to fix tongue tie and lip tie on my son around 2 months. We also ended up supplementing with formula because I had low supply (I could never pump more than 2-3 oz and my son would happily eat 4-6 if offered).

I still was able to breastfeed until a year - and by the end, I found breastfeeding easier than formula feeding (nothing to pack for a day out, no bottles to wash!).

All this to say— a fed baby is best, no matter whether breastmilk, formula, or some of both. It sounds like you want to try to stick with it; just try taking it a week or two at a time. It will get better, little by little— but you’re kind of in the thick of it now. You’re not weak or crazy or doing something wrong - the first two weeks just suck. And +1 to everyone who said to find a lactation consultant— definitely worth it!

[Anonymous]

Switched to formula early on with my first and went straight to formula for my second. It’s been fine for everyone. No regrets, not even at the height of the formula crisis. Now formula is easier to come by than it was two years ago. Brand doesn’t matter much; we’ve tried them all without a noticeable difference. That’s because formula is regulated and all the brands have the same essential nutrients. But if your kid is one of the rare kids with a sensitivity, your pediatrician can help you find a special formula that works for you.