How did you know you were done having kids?

[Anonymous]

Before having kids, we talked about 2-3 as being the magic family size.

When #2 was 18 months, finally sleeping well, we were getting settled into a toddler/kid kind of mode (DC1 was 3), and it finally felt like we had life under control ... DH brought up the question of whether I was still considering a third.... and I completely lost it at the idea of starting over with another newborn. I had absolutely zero interest in going another year with no sleep, the stress of a baby literally needing access to my body in order to eat... no way. Not happening again. Don't get me wrong, I loved my babies dearly and still coo over newborns when I see them, I just Did Not Want another one of my own.

That's when I knew I was done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before having kids, we talked about 2-3 as being the magic family size.

When #2 was 18 months, finally sleeping well, we were getting settled into a toddler/kid kind of mode (DC1 was 3), and it finally felt like we had life under control ... DH brought up the question of whether I was still considering a third.... and I completely lost it at the idea of starting over with another newborn. I had absolutely zero interest in going another year with no sleep, the stress of a baby literally needing access to my body in order to eat... no way. Not happening again. Don't get me wrong, I loved my babies dearly and still coo over newborns when I see them, I just Did Not Want another one of my own.

That's when I knew I was done.

Yes, the newborn stage is not the best. I know so many people (myself included) who have said they would have another if they could skip the newborn phase, or be handed a potty-trained toddler.

[Anonymous]

I loved the newborn stage, and found toddlers to be much more difficult. I would have 50 babies if I could.

[Anonymous]

Wanted 4 and had 4. Got separated while pregnant with my 4th and because it was also my 3rd C section I went ahead and had them remove my tubes so I’m officially done!

[Anonymous]

I’m 39 with two kids under two. My house is so crazy. If I were younger and could have a 3rd after these two are out of diapers, then I think I would go for it. But by the time these two are potty trained I’ll be in my 40s.

[Anonymous]

Neither DH nor I ever wanted more than 2. I would have been OK with 1, but he really, really wanted 2. And I was OK with 2. The first year after DC1 was born was among the best times in our marriage. DH was an amazing baby dad. We needed a lot of help to get pregnant both times, and we were both older. DH had a hard age cutoff where he didn't want to be having kids past a certain age. So there were a lot of external factors limiting us to 2.

But I don't think my mental health would have survived a 3rd. DH and I once discussed whether we would have had a 3rd if our ages hadn't been a factor, and we both agreed we would not have had more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loved the newborn stage, and found toddlers to be much more difficult. I would have 50 babies if I could.

Michelle Duggar has entered the chat.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a three child family so my hope was three and we had three. The thought of having a fourth never crossed my mind. My husband was happy with two and left the decision up to me. Thankfully he was a very willing participant in making it happen.

[Anonymous]

One and done w a 3 year old. I was on the fence about having another till about a year ago. His autism diagnosis and the extra effort that has required was a big part of it.

[Anonymous]

I knew I'd be one and done before I even got pregnant. One kid felt manageable. More than one seemed like it would be overwhelming to me. Parenting one was good. He's a young adult now. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

We got married on the younger side (I was 25). We never really talked about how many kids we wanted other than both knowing we wanted kids. We started when I was 28 and had two boys and then a third, which was a girl. She was born in May 2019. We were both working “big” jobs and did not have local family. We were open to a fourth, but the pandemic came. Working without childcare was horrible and just about did us in and by the time we came up for air a fourth just didn’t seem like it made sense for us. I’m now 38 with a 10, 7, and almost 5 year old and while I am nostalgic for my own to be babies our family feels very complete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved the newborn stage, and found toddlers to be much more difficult. I would have 50 babies if I could.

Michelle Duggar has entered the chat.

Not the PP but I feel the same — I love being pregnant and love newborns. I stopped at 2 because that’s all I could emotionally manage and afford but I totally understand the Michelle Duggar impulse to just keep on having babies. It sucks what happened to the Duggar kids but thanks for being a cautionary tale I guess?

[Anonymous]

I always wanted at least three. But DH was done after two and didn’t want any additional kids. So we stopped at two.

[Anonymous]

2 years of IVF for DD1, then 4 years of even more IVF for DD2. Spent every waking moment of those years wanting a baby. Every pregnancy announcement made me deeply sad. Every cycle was an obsession.

As soon as DD2 was born it all vanished. She is happiest most adorable baby, now toddler. I knew that was it - i would never spin the roulette wheel of kids again.

We ironically had a natural scare 3 month ago. Was filled with the deepest relief when it was negative. Was a mind f to be on the other side but feels so good to not care anymore. Our family is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved the newborn stage, and found toddlers to be much more difficult. I would have 50 babies if I could.

Michelle Duggar has entered the chat.

nope, just a regular mom of 3 who likes pregnancies and babies.