How did you know you were done having kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone's different, but I think I'm one of those people who would always be happy with another baby. We have three, and if my DH all of a sudden wanted a fourth (he doesn't), I'd be into it.

That said, it's different this time. In the past I felt a longing for another child in my soul. Since having our third, the baby fever moments are much more like nostalgia. I think I'm more interested in reliving past moments with my current children than I am in adding another human to our family. I'd love to have a baby again but I don't have a burning need to have a fourth child, if that makes sense.

Exactly how I feel about having a 4th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this was fortunate enough to be a choice for you, how did you know you were done? Did you feel 100% done? Was it a rational decision (bandwidth, finances, lifestyle choices, career, spouse at capacity)?

And what was the number of kids you stopped at?

I had many siblings and though I love them dearly, I saw how it divides whatever limited resources parents have and takes a tool on parents. I knew, I wouldn't want that for my family.

[Anonymous]

*toll

[Anonymous]

I loved being pregnant and I loved my babies immensely however, we always knew we would stop at two. We were able to divide and conquer with 2. If we had a third logistics would've been so much harder. My kids are different genders and were interested in different activities so my husband and I could, as I said, divide and conquer as we could each take one to where ever. We were also aware of the financial impact of each child, and knew that we would be stretched really thin if we added a third. Right now we have two kids in college at the same time. It's quite expensive and I'm glad I don't have a third entering college next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved the newborn stage, and found toddlers to be much more difficult. I would have 50 babies if I could.

Michelle Duggar has entered the chat.

nope, just a regular mom of 3 who likes pregnancies and babies.

Yeah me too. I wonder if those of us who struggle to feel completely done are those who also enjoy pregnancy and newborns the most.

Np maybe! Pregnancy was so so easy for me. Zero morning sickness, zero pain. I just grew nice big babies. I was able to be very active until the end. My hair was thick and glossy and my skin was beautiful too. The only real struggle was to not gain more than 30lbs. I still have a lot of sympathy for women who have it rough and it isn’t this magical time though.

And newborns were so incredible. I just loved everything about them. For the first 12 weeks I could wake up all night long and I breastfed them until they were very chonky.

No. I had all that. I still knew when I was done.

[Anonymous]

I am a mom of two who always thought I would have three, though I feel very done. Factors that made us happy to still were limited money and time (we both work out of the home with no local family), I had terrible pregnancies (sick and complications with both), SNs with my youngest that were not figured out by the time we would have wanted to be pregnant again, and not wanting to have an odd number of kids.

The SNs/rough pregnancies are definitely the biggest factor. I would never say this out loud to anyone but DH, but when I see 3+ kids and no twins, I assume people had easier times with those things. I was very conscious that if we had a third, we could be jeopardizing my health either long term or at least while I was pregnant and that SNs or health issues for the baby were something we very well could deal with.

[Anonymous]

I just feel this incredible sense of peace about my family in its current state.

[Anonymous]

I am an only child who always wanted a large family. My husband is one of 5 who loves kids.

We have 3 - and because of our ages we are probably done just because of that and issues with conceiving in the past. But I am not on BC -so I guess you never know.

I loved being pregnant (and I love my OB and like to think she misses me lol) and I loved having a newborn. And I love the idea of a house full of children and adult children coming home to visit with grandchildren (I know that it not a guarantee)

Financially it would be a stretch if we got pregnant again - I would more than likely quit my job for a couple of years or at least go part time. But we haven't thrown any baby gear out and I just can't shake the feeling that these aren't the last "firsts"

[Anonymous]

We stopped at 3. In part practical — age (I was 37 and DH was 40, we didn’t want to be older parents), house size, finances, and just overall bandwidth.

The other part was just that “I’m done” feeling. I managed to have 3 vaginal births and come out largely unscathed, but the pregnancies and nursing just took over my body for years. And I’m over the lack of sleep.

If hypothetically someone were to hand me a sweet little baby who was already sleeping through the night, added another bedroom to my house, DH and I could double our salaries and halve our work hours, then I would totally have a 4th. 😜 But absent that we are DONE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I loved the newborn stage, and found toddlers to be much more difficult. I would have 50 babies if I could.

Michelle Duggar has entered the chat.

NP. If I could relive my first baby's first year for the rest of my life, I would.

[Anonymous]

I originally thought I may want three. My first pregnancy was easy peasy. My second (current) pregnancy is AWFUL. That's sealing the deal for me....two it is.

[Anonymous]

When I started looking at pregnant women and feeling sorry for all the sleepless nights that await them. I have three and always planned on having 3.

No matter what people say, with each child you add, you are taking away time and resources from your other children. Even though I feel my family size is perfect for us, I always have some guilt that I am not giving each child individual attention or spending more one on one time with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pregnant with my third after being obsessed with this question since the day I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd, worried it would be my last (because DH originally was adement about only wanting 2). I think three is the perfect number of kids in general, but now that I'm experiencing a third pregnancy, I think it's solidifying that view.

I felt so deeply sad at the thought of every moment being my last of this chapter when I was doing it all with my second, and really longed for another time. And now that I have gotten that wish, for the first time ever, I feel a little inconvenienced by pregnancy and semi dreading the sleepless nights and more years of diapers. I still very much want this, but I am just glad it will be my last.

So I think it confirms my feeling that the first child shocks you and is for learning and matrescence, the second child is to soak up every minute, and the third is for closure (while also soaking up every minute).

Long story short, I really feel done this time, whereas I didn't at all during/after my second.

Was your husband on board with having a third ultimately?

Yes, he eventually came around.

[Anonymous]

With both pregnancies, we didn't find out the gender, and I used to think that I would be more open to a third if I got two of the same gender. We have two girls and I'm happy to say that the gender truly did not matter to me in the end. I don't feel like my family is "missing" a son. Honestly, so many people "hoped" for a boy for me with my second pregnancy, so I "could have one of each" and I just found that sentiment really annoying. Trying for a gender is not a reason to have a kid and I just don't want a third. I'm not disappointed to only have girls and I don't know what I was thinking with that in the first place, except that I was getting so much pressure to want one of each.

[Anonymous]

We had three children in four years at which point I was almost 36 and working. It was complete craziness for a few years and we never discussed having a fourth. We did discuss having a third which was my desire and my husband really left it up to me and once I got pregnant he was all in.