Age gap or no?

[Anonymous]

It doesn't make him a bad person. She is taking courses with him at college - any 17 year olds are at college. They are in the stage stage of life and maturity is pretty similar across college years. I wouldn't have any issue with it. A 2-3 year age gap to me is fine. Their ages are secondary to their maturity, being responsible, being respectful and kind, and being compatible.

[Anonymous]

Mom, you've made this way harder on yourself by setting-up this scenario. Since here you are, I think all you can hope for is adherence to this rule: she's 17. He dates her as if he were 17 too. The youngest age and rules for that age determines it. Curfew, locations. Ideally, time spent at your house. With the family, ideally.

Good luck. Many of us would be in college at 18, so not much older but our parents didn't have to witness this. She's a junior? You redshirted her?

[Anonymous]

It’s fine. Most adult relationships are 2-3 years apart. Plenty of late birthdays enter college at 16/17 as well and have for decades.

[Anonymous]

No pp, 16 year olds are not ordinary residential students at college.

[Anonymous]

I started college at 17 too, so she's not too young to date college aged guys. It's about the person, not the age.

[Anonymous]

Does he know she’s a junior in HS? At that age, I could have seen myself concealing that fact to look cool. I currently have a college sophomore. He would never think to ask a classmate if she were in HS. This is my reminder to tell him to always confirm she is an adult. And no, I wouldn’t allow it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom, you've made this way harder on yourself by setting-up this scenario. Since here you are, I think all you can hope for is adherence to this rule: she's 17. He dates her as if he were 17 too. The youngest age and rules for that age determines it. Curfew, locations. Ideally, time spent at your house. With the family, ideally.

Good luck. Many of us would be in college at 18, so not much older but our parents didn't have to witness this. She's a junior? You redshirted her?

Another anti red shirter who can't seem to math. My on-time January child will be 17 for half their junior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it legal in your state?

Marriage is legal at these ages in several states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom, you've made this way harder on yourself by setting-up this scenario. Since here you are, I think all you can hope for is adherence to this rule: she's 17. He dates her as if he were 17 too. The youngest age and rules for that age determines it. Curfew, locations. Ideally, time spent at your house. With the family, ideally.

Good luck. Many of us would be in college at 18, so not much older but our parents didn't have to witness this. She's a junior? You redshirted her?

Another anti red shirter who can't seem to math. My on-time January child will be 17 for half their junior year.

Right?! On time DS will be 18 a six weeks into senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much of a gap, and if he's a decent guy he'll understand when she reveals her age and declines.

OP here. He knows her age and they were friends this whole year before he asked her out. I’ve even met him and he seems sweet. I think DD really wants to go. Does this make him a bad person if he knows her age and still asked her out? Is it weird?

Hmm. I think you're making this up and trying to find got ha loopholes and excuses for a legal adult to date a child

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't care honestly - it's more about the guy than the age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the grades don't touch, neither should they

That is so stupid

DP. This is what my 14 year old says. It's okay to date "shoulder grades", but not above or below that. According to her, it's not just about the age and maturity, but also about where the kids are in their life. She has been asked out by HS kids, and once they find out she's a middle schooler, they apologize and move on.

[Anonymous]

Are you ok with her having sex? A guy who is a college sophomore is not going to date someone for long unless there is sex involved fairly quickl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you ok with her having sex? A guy who is a college sophomore is not going to date someone for long unless there is sex involved fairly quickl

m

The girls 17. You think she is a virgin?!?! LOL

[Anonymous]

Guy here. 20 years ago I dated a high school Senior as a college Sophomore. I was inexperienced and had only dated two girls before that and never gone anywhere close to actual sex.

She was way more experienced than me, and her parents knew I was in college and I met them, and it was a pretty normal relationship except when I went to high school dances it was awkward.

Now as an adult, I think it’s totally inappropriate. There is such a high schism between high school and college, and dating across it is very risky.