Age gap or no?

[Anonymous]

Does he know she’s a junior in HS? At that age, I could have seen myself concealing that fact to look cool. I currently have a college sophomore. He would never think to ask a classmate if she were in HS. This is my reminder to tell him to always confirm she is an adult. And no, I wouldn’t allow it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom, you've made this way harder on yourself by setting-up this scenario. Since here you are, I think all you can hope for is adherence to this rule: she's 17. He dates her as if he were 17 too. The youngest age and rules for that age determines it. Curfew, locations. Ideally, time spent at your house. With the family, ideally.

Good luck. Many of us would be in college at 18, so not much older but our parents didn't have to witness this. She's a junior? You redshirted her?

Another anti red shirter who can't seem to math. My on-time January child will be 17 for half their junior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it legal in your state?

Marriage is legal at these ages in several states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom, you've made this way harder on yourself by setting-up this scenario. Since here you are, I think all you can hope for is adherence to this rule: she's 17. He dates her as if he were 17 too. The youngest age and rules for that age determines it. Curfew, locations. Ideally, time spent at your house. With the family, ideally.

Good luck. Many of us would be in college at 18, so not much older but our parents didn't have to witness this. She's a junior? You redshirted her?

Another anti red shirter who can't seem to math. My on-time January child will be 17 for half their junior year.

Right?! On time DS will be 18 a six weeks into senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much of a gap, and if he's a decent guy he'll understand when she reveals her age and declines.

OP here. He knows her age and they were friends this whole year before he asked her out. I’ve even met him and he seems sweet. I think DD really wants to go. Does this make him a bad person if he knows her age and still asked her out? Is it weird?

Hmm. I think you're making this up and trying to find got ha loopholes and excuses for a legal adult to date a child

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't care honestly - it's more about the guy than the age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the grades don't touch, neither should they

That is so stupid

DP. This is what my 14 year old says. It's okay to date "shoulder grades", but not above or below that. According to her, it's not just about the age and maturity, but also about where the kids are in their life. She has been asked out by HS kids, and once they find out she's a middle schooler, they apologize and move on.

[Anonymous]

Are you ok with her having sex? A guy who is a college sophomore is not going to date someone for long unless there is sex involved fairly quickl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you ok with her having sex? A guy who is a college sophomore is not going to date someone for long unless there is sex involved fairly quickl

m

The girls 17. You think she is a virgin?!?! LOL

[Anonymous]

Guy here. 20 years ago I dated a high school Senior as a college Sophomore. I was inexperienced and had only dated two girls before that and never gone anywhere close to actual sex.

She was way more experienced than me, and her parents knew I was in college and I met them, and it was a pretty normal relationship except when I went to high school dances it was awkward.

Now as an adult, I think it’s totally inappropriate. There is such a high schism between high school and college, and dating across it is very risky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the grades don't touch, neither should they

That is so stupid

DP. This is what my 14 year old says. It's okay to date "shoulder grades", but not above or below that. According to her, it's not just about the age and maturity, but also about where the kids are in their life. She has been asked out by HS kids, and once they find out she's a middle schooler, they apologize and move on.

You need to investigate how your daughter is getting in these situations or highschoolers feel comfortable, asking her out, without knowing that she is a middle schooler, such as if was a friend sibling. They would know she’s a middle schooler. Is she being picked up at the mall?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the grades don't touch, neither should they

That is so stupid

DP. This is what my 14 year old says. It's okay to date "shoulder grades", but not above or below that. According to her, it's not just about the age and maturity, but also about where the kids are in their life. She has been asked out by HS kids, and once they find out she's a middle schooler, they apologize and move on.

NP. Middle schoolers feels different to me. I had one friend in 10th grade who dated a middle schooler and it was weird, even though she had been held back and wasn't actually that much younger. Freshmen dating seniors wasn't seen that way, and plenty of those relationships ended up with high schoolers dating college students when people graduated. Even my friend who dated an actual adult our junior year (I think he was 24) wasn't treated as oddly as the guy dating an eight grader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started college at 17 too, so she's not too young to date college aged guys. It's about the person, not the age.

The girls is a high school student taking college courses. This is totally different than starting out freshman year of college. Saying that 17 is almost the same as 18 is true, but kids mature a lot every year. I think the maturity and expectations between a 20-year old and 17-year old HS student are very different and I would not be okay with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the grades don't touch, neither should they

That is so stupid

DP. This is what my 14 year old says. It's okay to date "shoulder grades", but not above or below that. According to her, it's not just about the age and maturity, but also about where the kids are in their life. She has been asked out by HS kids, and once they find out she's a middle schooler, they apologize and move on.

You need to investigate how your daughter is getting in these situations or highschoolers feel comfortable, asking her out, without knowing that she is a middle schooler, such as if was a friend sibling. They would know she’s a middle schooler. Is she being picked up at the mall?

Yup. Mall, basketball game, football game, etc. when she's with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s illegal so no. But if she were 18 and mature I would not object personally.

It’s not illegal to date. Depending on the state it might be illegal to have sex.