Acquaintance keeps finding ways to tell me her DH doesn’t really like me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In my 30s, I'd have felt bad. Now I'm in my 40s, I would take malicious pleasure in drawing her out and making her explain herself and seeing what sort of nonsense comes out...

+1. I would speak of nothing else to this woman except her husband's apparent dislike and active avoidance of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend that loves to needle people and say weirdly critical things, but in a jokey low key way. I started making jokes on how I could count on her to say things like that, I knew it would take her no time to mention, only she would say something like that, etc. She quit doing it.

'


People who "needle" in a "jokey way" are not joking, they are being inappropriate, and trying to camouflage it by claiming to be "joking".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sees you at a threat.

NP. I doubt it.

OP, for whatever reason her DH can't stand you and she feels awkward about it and keeps mentioning it. You probably said something. He seems fine because he's politer than she is.

NP. Well, it didn't take long for the classic "It must be the OP's fault" post to appear.

Zero reason to assume that OP "said something" or that there is any real basis for the DH's supposed dislike. Note the "supposed." OP does not know, nor do we, whether the DH actually dislikes her or even said the things his wife is claiming he said. You, PP, just want to bash an OP. Typical response on here, and typically fact-free.

To the OP: Since she sounds like a mere acquaintance whom you see around, and she and DH are not actually your friends, I'd shrug this off as being about her insecurity and not about you at all. Don't let it make you think you did anything specific. Even if her DH does dislike you, what does it matter, since they're not a couple you even know very well? Change the topic if she brings up this nonsense again, and generally avoid them. Don't feed her insecurity and her odd statements by reacting to them, beyond a cool stare and a change of topic every time.

[Anonymous]

It is totally bizarre and I would work on a way to respond by putting it back in her lap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend that loves to needle people and say weirdly critical things, but in a jokey low key way. I started making jokes on how I could count on her to say things like that, I knew it would take her no time to mention, only she would say something like that, etc. She quit doing it.

Smart. You did both of you a favor. She probably didn't realize she had this insecurity tic and that it was so off putting. If she was truly just trying to hurt you, maybe she would have pushed back or continued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
In my 30s, I'd have felt bad. Now I'm in my 40s, I would take malicious pleasure in drawing her out and making her explain herself and seeing what sort of nonsense comes out...

+1. I would speak of nothing else to this woman except her husband's apparent dislike and active avoidance of me.

Waste of time and energy to do this. It might seem amusing but it's actually rather mean, if this woman is so pitifully insecure. Also, doubling down on talking with her about her DH is only feeding the beast and will create gossip at school or wherever OP and this mom both have to interact. I'd tell her, "I'm sorry he feels that way" and never address it again, since it's silly. If she keeps bringing it up and OP absolutely HAS to keep interacting with her somehow, I'd tell her, "Do you realize that every time we talk you bring up that Dan doesn't like me? Let's not talk about him, then."

[Anonymous]

I would avoid her at all costs. She's sound nutty. At some point she will seek you out wondering where you have been Duh. Then, you can mention her lack of all social graces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sees you at a threat.

Yup...my first thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In my 30s, I'd have felt bad. Now I'm in my 40s, I would take malicious pleasure in drawing her out and making her explain herself and seeing what sort of nonsense comes out...

Lol....yeah the 40's are awesome-done giving a sh%t. I hear the 50's the filter really comes off.

[Anonymous]

What?! He didn't say that when he was in bed with me yesterday afternoon!

[Anonymous]

Tell her that her DH is always seems happy to see you and you have the most delightful chats.

[Anonymous]

Possibly a narcissist with the husband saying the opposite at home.

[Anonymous]

If it’s true that’s why she likes you 😁

If it’s not true stop smiling at her husband! 🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What?! He didn't say that when he was in bed with me yesterday afternoon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s truly bizarre or a troll post

I no think it’s real and the woman is clearly insecure and jealous, very likely extremely toxic as well.

The husband may have said once nice comment and that’s all she needed. You are certainly not the only person she does this to.

Her husband probably has cheated.