"No Birthday Gifts, Please": What Un-American BS.

[Anonymous]

Listen, folks, DH here, and I've had it. Fulmination time. If I get another bday invite asking DD to come to some kid's party but not to bring that kid a bday gift, I'm going to go all Dwight D. Eisenhower on them--build an Interstate Highway System all up in their grills. Come on. This donating of books, swapping of books--"second-hand" books, for the love of the Goddess!--in lieu of actual gifts is compromising our children's moral development, depriving them of valuable gift-giving experiences where the gift is appreciated or not, wanted or not, appropriate or not. I'm not French, mon ami. I believe in the Target toy aisle and its plastic riches, there to be distributed to our lovely tykes, every one.

[Anonymous]

Can you start back on your meds, get some sleep and come back tomorrow?

[Anonymous]

OP I love you and I think you are a little overwrought all at the same time

[Anonymous]

Frankly, I don't want more stuff in my house so I am a big proponent of the no-gift party. However, I don't believe in making my kid's birthday party yet ANOTHER obligation to bring something, make something, do something for my fellow moms. So there will be no book swaps, canned good drives, clothing donations at our parties. There will be friends and fun and cake. Maybe a goody bag filled with candy, that's right, I said it...C-A-N-D-Y!!

[Anonymous]

hahaha! Yeah I think those no-gift parties are stupid too. We end up just not going.

We also don't need any more toys, so before a b'day party or christmas we clean out the house. Each person (including mom and dad) get rid of 5 "things" we don't need any more. I also go through their toys at this time and get rid of anything that doesn't get played with often enough for it to matter. Goodwill LOVES us. That way we now have "space" for gifts/toys.

[Anonymous]

Oh yes! I think putting "no gifts" on an invite is rude. I'm a guest -- I'll bring whatever the hell I want. That said, if parents call to ask what gift DD wants I say that she loves books.

[Anonymous]

I had no idea Rush Limbaugh was a DCUM-er!

(Although when you host large parties, and there's no time to open gifts in front of the crowd, and when your kid's toys take up an entire ROOM, and there are so many needy kids in this world -- isn't it nice to have a "no kids, bring a donation to XYZ kid's charity if you like" party? I love attending those kinds of parties, and the kids NEVER seem to care. Also, I bring way more stuff to a gift-donation party!)

[Anonymous]

Give me a break! We do these all the time! We have a large generous family and a small house.
We don't need anymore toys, so if you don't like it don't go to the party, and get over yourself (I hate it when people use the term folks)

[Anonymous]

OP, I completely agree with you.

So many people complain that they already have "too much stuff." My question then is -- why are you buying your kid so much stuff? I have an idea for those people: don't buy anything for your kid this year. (and get rid of what you bought them last year, too, while you're at it.) I guarantee that when their birthday rolls around, they (and you) will suddenly be thrilled with anything and everything that is gifted to them. In doing so, you might even teach your kid to appreciate a gift and be open-minded about the various toys they can enjoy. If your child still acts like a selfish snob and feels like some toy is boring or not good enough, then you have yet another opportunity to teach them about giving stuff away.

The problem is that these families are lavishing their own children with everything the child wants, then when the party comes, get all control-freak on everyone and say that they don't want any gifts. I too used to be of this mindset and even had a no-gift party for my kid once. Then I realized that I was the bigger problem of accumulating too much stuff in our lives, not the yearly birthday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I love you and I think you are a little overwrought all at the same time[/quoteI

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I completely agree with you.

So many people complain that they already have "too much stuff." My question then is -- why are you buying your kid so much stuff? I have an idea for those people: don't buy anything for your kid this year. (and get rid of what you bought them last year, too, while you're at it.) I guarantee that when their birthday rolls around, they (and you) will suddenly be thrilled with anything and everything that is gifted to them. In doing so, you might even teach your kid to appreciate a gift and be open-minded about the various toys they can enjoy. If your child still acts like a selfish snob and feels like some toy is boring or not good enough, then you have yet another opportunity to teach them about giving stuff away.

The problem is that these families are lavishing their own children with everything the child wants, then when the party comes, get all control-freak on everyone and say that they don't want any gifts. I too used to be of this mindset and even had a no-gift party for my kid once. Then I realized that I was the bigger problem of accumulating too much stuff in our lives, not the yearly birthday party.

This is total crap. It's not a reflection on the parents. It's a reflection on you being so self-centered that you can't understand why a family might not want gifts from your kid.
I don't buy my kid everything she wants but she already gets a ton of hand me downs from cousins and presents from grand ma. She's 4 years old - how much stuff does she need?!! We always appreciate gifts but the idea of having a ton more stuff every birthday (and she's only going to play with most of it for, um 30 - 60 minutes), is ridiculous. Birthdays are a time to celebrate the birthday kid and it doesn't always have to include presents. Isn't it nice to have friends over, celebrate with cake, ice cream, entertainment, and just enjoy the day without a ton of stuff?

[Anonymous]

please just don't come to my party, jackass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hahaha! Yeah I think those no-gift parties are stupid too. We end up just not going.
s.

Really? We go to parties because my kids have fun. Giving a gift or not is not fundamental to the experience. Why would you skip a party just because you don't need to bring an unwanted piece of junk?

[Anonymous]

The problem is that these families are lavishing their own children with everything the child wants, then when the party comes, get all control-freak on everyone and say that they don't want any gifts. I too used to be of this mindset and even had a no-gift party for my kid once. Then I realized that I was the bigger problem of accumulating too much stuff in our lives, not the yearly birthday party.

Not at all, or at least not totally. My daughter goes to a school where kids come from a wide range of economic backgrounds. When she has a party and invites kids from her class, buying a gift would be an imposition on the parents, and some might not even come if they didn't feel like they could bring a gift. No one wants that. (Plus, your advice is "don't buy your kids stuff so you can have a gift party?" Seriously? That's - effed up.)

And, OP - no-gift parties are crippling our kids' moral development? Are you high? How about teaching your kids not to be greedy little shits?

[Anonymous]

To my mind, the purpose of a party is to celebrate with friends, have fun, and eat cake DS is turning 2 in a few weeks and we're doing a family only party still at this point so it's not an issue for us. But when he gets bigger, I wouldn't want to put that burden on his friends' families. I'm sure we'd love whatever we bought, but really it's the presence that makes a party not the presents. I went to very few parties when I was little because my folks were broke and they couldn't afford to buy presents for everyone.

Of course, I also bought the dresses for my bridesmaids when we got married and since all but 1 had to travel for the wedding I told them that I considered the travel to the wedding and their hotel stays to be their wedding gift to me. We were all broke grad students and I didn't want to be the reason they were eating ramen for a month.