61% of single women in America are not looking to get into a new relationship compared to 38% of men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Please. So many women on here complaining that they found out after marriage and their kids were diagnosed with autism that gee whiz! Husband has autism too. How do you not notice this for years? Stop being so desperate to marry the first guy who asks.

But here you are on a thread complaining about how women aren’t interested in marrying. Pick a lane.

Not me. I'm not complaining. I'm saying being a SMBC by choice is a bad idea. A good idea is to not marry, live a fulfilling life being the fun aunt if you want, travel, and be fabulous. But some are acting like kids are a must. Not true at all.

Being a single mother by choice has a much lower incidence of genetic or heritable disorders than your above example, though, so if your cautionary tale is “don’t marry unsuitable men” you’re really making a good case for “use very high quality sperm”

Yep. They vet them strongly at the sperm banks

Why don’t you just plug your favorite sperm bank?

[Anonymous]

Perhaps men should stop giving their sperms to the sperm bank. Women do not need men. Those who want children can manufacture them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

I know very few men who fit that description. Do you live in this area?

I agree. I'm GenX and my DH, as well as the other dads in our circle, are great dads. Perfect? no. But the moms aren't either. But they are involved and hands on and have been since birth.

This is anecdotal, i understand. But I'm not seeing what is described in the PP.

I'm an old Millennial and my DH is young Gen X, and I bet if you knew us you'd describe my DH as "very involved and hands on" and a great dad. And he is, kind of. But there's a lot you don't see. I'd rather coparent with him than my dad, no question. But my dad set a very low bar.

I do think my DH does better than a lot of men. But is he pulling his weight as a parent as well or better than most moms I know? Not even close. He takes little initiative, has almost no capacity for planning, struggles a lot with the emotional side of parenting (being the calm, emotionally mature adult in the face of kids struggling to develop those skills), and often blatantly shirks parenting responsibilities (he's one of those dads who spends a mysteriously long time in the bathroom during key parenting hours in the evening, or will wander off and make a phone call right when the kids need something). I think he's gotten better in the last year or so because I sort of hit a wall last year with being the primary parent and he realized he needed to pick it up. I think he's also a bit better with older kids who are more emotionally mature (thanks to a lot of hard work from yours truly!) so he's less triggered by them.

But despite him being involved and hands on, and being a good dad when compared to other dads (especially from prior generations) the idea that we are doing the same amount is insane. He travels for work and I'm fine (as others have said, it almost feels like a vacation not to have to deal with him). Meanwhile I was offered a promotion last year that would have had me traveling for the first time since our oldest was born, and he *freaked out* when I told him about it. I wound up not taking it because it caused such a meltdown at home.

The standard for "great dad" is so, so different than the standard for "great mom" in 2024.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

I know very few men who fit that description. Do you live in this area?

I agree. I'm GenX and my DH, as well as the other dads in our circle, are great dads. Perfect? no. But the moms aren't either. But they are involved and hands on and have been since birth.

This is anecdotal, i understand. But I'm not seeing what is described in the PP.

I'm an old Millennial and my DH is young Gen X, and I bet if you knew us you'd describe my DH as "very involved and hands on" and a great dad. And he is, kind of. But there's a lot you don't see. I'd rather coparent with him than my dad, no question. But my dad set a very low bar.

I do think my DH does better than a lot of men. But is he pulling his weight as a parent as well or better than most moms I know? Not even close. He takes little initiative, has almost no capacity for planning, struggles a lot with the emotional side of parenting (being the calm, emotionally mature adult in the face of kids struggling to develop those skills), and often blatantly shirks parenting responsibilities (he's one of those dads who spends a mysteriously long time in the bathroom during key parenting hours in the evening, or will wander off and make a phone call right when the kids need something). I think he's gotten better in the last year or so because I sort of hit a wall last year with being the primary parent and he realized he needed to pick it up. I think he's also a bit better with older kids who are more emotionally mature (thanks to a lot of hard work from yours truly!) so he's less triggered by them.

But despite him being involved and hands on, and being a good dad when compared to other dads (especially from prior generations) the idea that we are doing the same amount is insane. He travels for work and I'm fine (as others have said, it almost feels like a vacation not to have to deal with him). Meanwhile I was offered a promotion last year that would have had me traveling for the first time since our oldest was born, and he *freaked out* when I told him about it. I wound up not taking it because it caused such a meltdown at home.

The standard for "great dad" is so, so different than the standard for "great mom" in 2024.

I honestly think that women need to understand their are fundamental differences between men and women. For this reason women perhaps should take a break on marriage I am for real. There is 99% chance that any guy a woman pick will end up as described above not because men are "lazy" or whatever adjective you want to use. There are fundamental differences in terms of behavior and thinking. It is not going to change.

[Anonymous]

No Pp.

Theses are not fundamental differences.

These are societal differences.

Making a mess and leaving it, avoiding your parenting duties, never conversating with people in your household. These are societal.

Slowly changing but many men find it to their advantage to not change, not grow, and allow a Mommy figure to do everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

I know very few men who fit that description. Do you live in this area?

Yes but my kids are in private perhaps that is the issue. I tried to plan a dinner with moms and most either needed to be home before bedtime's routine or after because their husband couldn’t do it.

Clearly you’re talking about a preschool. What elementary kids need a routine that mommy can only do? All the moms i know are busy tag teaming with their husbands shuttling kids areojd to practices and activities at dinner. It’s a two person job. It’s not about bedtime.

My kids are grown, I have friends at all stages of life. That was one example. I've seen it all.. cheating, swinging, addiction... Now I'm watching all the silver divorces. I have 4 friends who are widows. I have a few friends who are already, at 50 something, caretakers for their husbands.

Most men of our generation are not great at helping ... sure, they can do a honey do list or drive kids when told who/what/when/were. But still they need directions.

It’s pathetic. And such a turn off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

I know very few men who fit that description. Do you live in this area?

Yes but my kids are in private perhaps that is the issue. I tried to plan a dinner with moms and most either needed to be home before bedtime's routine or after because their husband couldn’t do it.

Clearly you’re talking about a preschool. What elementary kids need a routine that mommy can only do? All the moms i know are busy tag teaming with their husbands shuttling kids areojd to practices and activities at dinner. It’s a two person job. It’s not about bedtime.

My kids are grown, I have friends at all stages of life. That was one example. I've seen it all.. cheating, swinging, addiction... Now I'm watching all the silver divorces. I have 4 friends who are widows. I have a few friends who are already, at 50 something, caretakers for their husbands.

Most men of our generation are not great at helping ... sure, they can do a honey do list or drive kids when told who/what/when/were. But still they need directions.

You’re old. Millenial men and younger are way more involved in childrearing than men of your generation were.

Maybe the neurotypical ones are.

Many many others are lazy inside the home and Disney dad or Sporty dad out in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Single men are far more likely than single women to be looking for a relationship or dates – 61% vs. 38%. This gender gap is especially apparent among older singles"

Interesting development. What do we think is causing this?

https://www.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/20/2020/08/PSDT_08.20.20.dating-relationships.full_.report.pdf

It is pretty obvious. Men are expected to initiate everything while women are passive.

Please let 3-5 things your husband has “initiated” lately for the family, no prompting, reminding, or listing.

Then list 3-5 things your husband has “initiated” for himself the last 24 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

I know very few men who fit that description. Do you live in this area?

I agree. I'm GenX and my DH, as well as the other dads in our circle, are great dads. Perfect? no. But the moms aren't either. But they are involved and hands on and have been since birth.

This is anecdotal, i understand. But I'm not seeing what is described in the PP.

I'm an old Millennial and my DH is young Gen X, and I bet if you knew us you'd describe my DH as "very involved and hands on" and a great dad. And he is, kind of. But there's a lot you don't see. I'd rather coparent with him than my dad, no question. But my dad set a very low bar.

I do think my DH does better than a lot of men. But is he pulling his weight as a parent as well or better than most moms I know? Not even close. He takes little initiative, has almost no capacity for planning, struggles a lot with the emotional side of parenting (being the calm, emotionally mature adult in the face of kids struggling to develop those skills), and often blatantly shirks parenting responsibilities (he's one of those dads who spends a mysteriously long time in the bathroom during key parenting hours in the evening, or will wander off and make a phone call right when the kids need something). I think he's gotten better in the last year or so because I sort of hit a wall last year with being the primary parent and he realized he needed to pick it up. I think he's also a bit better with older kids who are more emotionally mature (thanks to a lot of hard work from yours truly!) so he's less triggered by them.

But despite him being involved and hands on, and being a good dad when compared to other dads (especially from prior generations) the idea that we are doing the same amount is insane. He travels for work and I'm fine (as others have said, it almost feels like a vacation not to have to deal with him). Meanwhile I was offered a promotion last year that would have had me traveling for the first time since our oldest was born, and he *freaked out* when I told him about it. I wound up not taking it because it caused such a meltdown at home.

The standard for "great dad" is so, so different than the standard for "great mom" in 2024.

PP - take the next travel opportunity you get. The only way I've found to get DH to contribute more as a parent is if I'm not home. Maybe the rotisserie chicken and grilled cheese for dinner and fall behind a tad on homework, but their worlds keep spinning. I can't otherwise get him to parent if I'm home. I have to leave early or stay late at work to get things done once and a while because if we're both home, I'm the only one parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No Pp.

Theses are not fundamental differences.

These are societal differences.

Making a mess and leaving it, avoiding your parenting duties, never conversating with people in your household. These are societal.

Slowly changing but many men find it to their advantage to not change, not grow, and allow a Mommy figure to do everything.

I have seen boys raised by the Mommy figures like you and guess what they are just like their dad's. Men are not going to behave like women I am sorry. Could they be better? Of course. But the idea that they will be molded in a way that every complaint that women have of them will be fixed is not going to happen 100 years from now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

I know very few men who fit that description. Do you live in this area?

I agree. I'm GenX and my DH, as well as the other dads in our circle, are great dads. Perfect? no. But the moms aren't either. But they are involved and hands on and have been since birth.

This is anecdotal, i understand. But I'm not seeing what is described in the PP.

You wouldn't see it, you would have to have the mom explain it to you. You think you can sit next to someone at sports and understand their life inside their house/marriage.

The fact that 50% of the dads staying in their car or sit and doodle on their iPhones during whatever practice or carpool or game they “have to” go to, tells you exactly what kind of parenting skills they have, or lack.

[Anonymous]

Let’s go out for lunch or dinner! $200!

—that’s his main initiative every day. He’s hungry again, bmi in obese category, and despite $100s of food in the house and Hello fresh kits, he proposes eating out again. And again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

I know very few men who fit that description. Do you live in this area?

I agree. I'm GenX and my DH, as well as the other dads in our circle, are great dads. Perfect? no. But the moms aren't either. But they are involved and hands on and have been since birth.

This is anecdotal, i understand. But I'm not seeing what is described in the PP.

You wouldn't see it, you would have to have the mom explain it to you. You think you can sit next to someone at sports and understand their life inside their house/marriage.

The fact that 50% of the dads staying in their car or sit and doodle on their iPhones during whatever practice or carpool or game they “have to” go to, tells you exactly what kind of parenting skills they have, or lack.

Who cares? I'm a mom and I sit in my car and work during practices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

I know very few men who fit that description. Do you live in this area?

I agree. I'm GenX and my DH, as well as the other dads in our circle, are great dads. Perfect? no. But the moms aren't either. But they are involved and hands on and have been since birth.

This is anecdotal, i understand. But I'm not seeing what is described in the PP.

You wouldn't see it, you would have to have the mom explain it to you. You think you can sit next to someone at sports and understand their life inside their house/marriage.

The fact that 50% of the dads staying in their car or sit and doodle on their iPhones during whatever practice or carpool or game they “have to” go to, tells you exactly what kind of parenting skills they have, or lack.

How many women do the same. 50%?

[Anonymous]

My spouse does 1-2 carpools a month as do I and we both watch the practice and then do the drills more at home at the school field. We also check out the level of effort our kid is putting in. Or if they need help in something. Once in awhile we email the coach for some feedback.