The kid would probably be in jail without the mom, certainly would never be a college graduate. There's hard data to back up those statements. Send the prick a tally of the college costs and asks when he plans to write you a check for 50% of that sum. The nerve of some people is crazy. |
The deadbeat can't "ruin" the moment for the kid who wants him there. He's only ruining things for the mother, who refuses to accept that her son's feelings about his dad, unlike hers, are not entirely dependent on his financial contributions. Don't get me wrong: son's dad is an ass, and in her shoes, I wouldn't want to see him either. But I would care more about m making my son's day everything he wanted, because he deserves that. |
Yes. You paid for college to benefit your son, not so you could dictate who is allowed to see your adult child graduate. Grow up. |
Yes but your DS is an adult and this should be his decision. I’m in the same situation and my DS asked his dad. He won’t show up though. |
I’d care more that my 22 yo son wasn’t naive pawn pining for daddy’s affections after 22 years of neglect. Don’t get your hopes up kid. |
It may not have been 22 years of neglect. Child support stops at 18. There is clearly more to this story but if Mom refuses contact why would Dad pay for college, assuming he could afford it? |
Agree Skip the drama and angst and games. If dad’s so great and wants a new life, he can buy the son a nice gift and weekend trip of golf or fishing or help him move to his new city or apartment. |
Neglect is neglect Save the semantics for someone else Pp |
Absolutely |
OP. Let's frame this differently. If your son was getting married and you were paying for the wedding, do you think you get to decide the guest list? Can you bar your future DIL's family because they cannot afford to pay for the wedding? Do you get to veto the best man and maid/matron of honor because you don't like them?
Despite the fact that you paid for the tuition, this is your son's achievement and his to decide how and with whom he would like to celebrate. Inviting his deadbeat dad does not give his dad any credit for his achievement any more than inviting his grandparents or his significant other or his aunt and uncle. It's just who he wants to celebrate HIS achievement. |
Let the son choose |