Should a deadbeat dad be invited to a college graduation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son gets to decide this

My son gets to decide without my input? I paid for the college. Are you saying I ought to bite my tongue if my son mentions inviting his father or voice my issue? My son is a pushover and his father will take advantage. Because his father wants to play pretend with his wife, who has zero idea what a POS he is.

Yes.

Grow up lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was a deadbeat dad who dodged child support ages 0-19. Didn’t pay for a dime of my son’s college. He is currently married to a widow he mooches from and is allegedly finally gainfully employed because I get random amounts of money in my checking account (garnished wages from the old child support).

Should he be invited to my son’s college graduation in the spring?

yes invite him. he may not com

[Anonymous]

Nobody is dying to sit at a boring graduation ceremony. Just let it go.

[Anonymous]

As others have said, it’s up to your son. If you don’t feel like inviting him, fine. But if your son, who is presumably 21/22 and an adult, wants to invite him that is out of your hands.

Don’t start using the “I paid for it all alone” line with him now. You did it because you wanted to, right? Not to hang over his head for the rest of his life that he owes it to you to never talk to his dad, right?

Look your ex sounds like a loser. But stay on the high road. You’ve made it this far.

[Anonymous]

In place of your husband I’d say no. In addition to you both? It’s up to your son. Did they spend time together and do they have a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Invite him, but dang ! you told him the wrong date

[Anonymous]

I’d say nothing. Wouldn’t ask son nor ex.

[Anonymous]

My Mom paid for college, she invited my Dad. I treasure the photo I have with him (he died when I was in my 20s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son gets to decide this

My son gets to decide without my input? I paid for the college. Are you saying I ought to bite my tongue if my son mentions inviting his father or voice my issue? My son is a pushover and his father will take advantage. Because his father wants to play pretend with his wife, who has zero idea what a POS he is.

Enjoy the graduation ceremony as much as you can, you sound like someone who isn't going to be getting invited to much of your son's life from here on out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:regretfully, yes.

If you are in my shoes, you’d say nothing? No veto power?

When you paid for your son’s college, did you tell him that the money comes with your veto power attached?

[Anonymous]

It’s up to your son. This is his achievement, not your.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s up to your son. This is his achievement, not your.

I will be candid since this is anonymous. I totally disagree with you. It is also my achievement. Raising him by myself with no money from his dad. Were it not for me, he is not in college, let alone graduating. Were it up to his father, he'd possibly be in jail. Who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, it’s up to your son. If you don’t feel like inviting him, fine. But if your son, who is presumably 21/22 and an adult, wants to invite him that is out of your hands.

Don’t start using the “I paid for it all alone” line with him now. You did it because you wanted to, right? Not to hang over his head for the rest of his life that he owes it to you to never talk to his dad, right?

Look your ex sounds like a loser. But stay on the high road. You’ve made it this far.

This post is right. Lady, you sound like you're looking for a fight. Aren't you happy that you paid for college for your son? Why are you going to launch your son's adulthood with a motherly guilt trip? You're going to ruin his graduation, his accomplishment. Because you're so obsessed with making sure your ex husband (and father of your child) doesn't receive any false credit. YOU need to grow up, OP.

[Anonymous]

If the kid wants him there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son gets to decide this

My son gets to decide without my input? I paid for the college. Are you saying I ought to bite my tongue if my son mentions inviting his father or voice my issue? My son is a pushover and his father will take advantage. Because his father wants to play pretend with his wife, who has zero idea what a POS he is.

You are clearly a bitter, bitter woman. You should get some therapy. Seriously -- it could help a lot.

You son's father is his father, whether you like it now or not (and you had some say in that, you know). So yes, for the good of your son, bite your tongue and let him figure out his own relationships. At this point, their relationship is theirs, and has nothing to do with you.

I don't forbid him from communicating with his dad or having whatever relationship they do or don't have. I don't even speak about his father. But specific to this achievement, this very costly achievement I paid for and I raised him to be prepared for, why should the deadbeat share any of the ceremony? And bring along his wife so he can dupe her into thinking he had anything to do with it. He was a pure detriment to this for the last 22 years. I'm a bit surprised so many of you are saying he should be there and be allowed to bask in the milestone.