I'm very disappointed with my brother

[Anonymous]

OP here. I appreciate the other views, it is good to be kept in line. But my brother was the one who convinced me to try to go in the first instance because he wanted me there, and to see what could be done. But I can now see the view where he has a preference and it is his tradition because he has been going and I haven't. I asked my aunt to not tell anyone about it and to make sure to not mention to anyone that we might have come so the issue doesn't come up. One other thing to add, our family is Jewish so this isn't about celebrating a religious holiday together. In any event, I've been properly chastised, so I'm happy to end the thread now.

And a second pack-n-play is a good idea, I didn't think of that. But she is a very light sleeper so we would have to put the pack-n-play in a bedroom for naps, which would cause issues if someone wanted to use their bedroom while she was sleeping.

[Anonymous]

Your brother is right. sorry!!

[Anonymous]

And a second pack-n-play is a good idea, I didn't think of that. But she is a very light sleeper so we would have to put the pack-n-play in a bedroom for naps, which would cause issues if someone wanted to use their bedroom while she was sleeping.

Sounds like she needs for you to stay in the condo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate the other views, it is good to be kept in line. But my brother was the one who convinced me to try to go in the first instance because he wanted me there, and to see what could be done. But I can now see the view where he has a preference and it is his tradition because he has been going and I haven't. I asked my aunt to not tell anyone about it and to make sure to not mention to anyone that we might have come so the issue doesn't come up. One other thing to add, our family is Jewish so this isn't about celebrating a religious holiday together. In any event, I've been properly chastised, so I'm happy to end the thread now.

And a second pack-n-play is a good idea, I didn't think of that. But she is a very light sleeper so we would have to put the pack-n-play in a bedroom for naps, which would cause issues if someone wanted to use their bedroom while she was sleeping.

lol

[Anonymous]

So OP, did you decide not to go because of your brother's unwillingness to switch to the condo?

[Anonymous]

OP- good luck. I think it is good that you were open to other viewpoints. Not going to jump on the chastise wagon, but think an approach to acknowledge the challenge and inconvenience it would be for brother is more advised.

I wouldn't blame you if you couldn't go b/c of the condo, its a difficult arrangement and may just not be meant to be.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a terrible brother - kind of brother that made me sleep in the couch instead of offering me his bed when I went to visit family. Did I mention I was pregnant? Ok, so well I thought I'll be on OP's side I know what having a terrible brother is like, but I have to tell you.. YOU'RE THE ONE WITH A PROBLEM HERE!

[Anonymous]

Tempest, allow me to introduce you to Teapot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a terrible brother - kind of brother that made me sleep in the couch instead of offering me his bed when I went to visit family. Did I mention I was pregnant? Ok, so well I thought I'll be on OP's side I know what having a terrible brother is like, but I have to tell you.. YOU'RE THE ONE WITH A PROBLEM HERE!

Sleeping in the couch is so uncomfortable. He couldn't pull it out for you?

[Anonymous]

i think op is in the right. i would be disappointed too. my sisters always kindly accomodated me when i had a baby on my hands and now i am happy to the same for them.

[Anonymous]

I can understand your disappointment.

I do agree with the others though, this is really on you and not him.

Further I agree the condo really WOULD be better for the baby, especially at night if she's a light sleeper.

A pack and play can be moved from room to room easily enough. I'm sure you could find out each day who wouldn't need to use their room for the hour or two she sleeps.

That response and the "if things don't go my way I just won't go" attitude seem a little childish and immature. You can make this work so easily, you just don't want to. Which is fine, but don't make it about your brother in any way. Just because he wants you there doesn't mean he wants to have to feel bad or be made to look bad because you don't get what you want.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I'm usu VERY MUCH of the view of why should the person with a child inconvenience others? But, I think the Brother could have given a little on this one. Really, all we are talking about is where he is sleeping and he is the one that made the big deal of asking her to come. It is far more disruptive for the sister. (Though I do agree that as the person with the child, I would like the quiet condo for naps. But that is just me.)

And, this is family. It is ONE year. The thing being asked of him is not that big of a deal (and he will knwo soon enough about naps and stuff if/when they have kids.) You make these sacrifices.
So, I have to give the brother the "F" for effort here.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and as far as the brother not wanting to look bad . . . well, frankly, I think he DOES look bad in this instance. Again, Just IMO.

[Anonymous]

You're trying to make your brother stay somewhere YOU don't want to. Although YOU'RE the one coming in late to this tradition?

Hmm...I wonder what he's writing about you on anonymous forums.

[Anonymous]

He could have made things work at the condo.

You could have made things work at the condo. (Really, you could have if it was important to you.)

And yet you are not going anyway. You have to face facts. This trip was not that important to you, or you would have done it. Given that, let go of your disappointment with your brother. If you didn't care enough to make it happen, you should not care so much to hate him for his part in it.