Guests who criticize your house

[Anonymous]

I like the idea of turning it back on them.

What are you planning for the kitchen? [Why do you ask - are you making plans for your kitchen? What have you been thinking about?]

When are you going to get new carpet upstairs? [Ugh, carpet replacement - are you going through it right now?]

These are not the people to discuss your ideas with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, those all seem like normal questions from people who know you're working on a to-do list. You can choose to be offended or you can choose to answer the question as you have here.

+1. If this is the kind of stuff that tops your list of annoyances, you are leading a pretty charmed life.

That’s rude actually. If this is your go to conversation topic, I’d suggest you change it and maybe consider a social skills class. It would be like taking a ride to lunch or the airport with a coworker, and asking when they’re going to trade in their 2 year old car, or seeing a tiny scratch, asking what color they’re going to choose when they have it repainted. Or if someone spills a little wine on their sweater, asking when they’re going to update their wardrobe. Questions like that, without any provocation (OP saying she’s going to remodel next month or change the carpet soon, thus giving them an opening) are actually criticisms because it implies what they’re suggesting should be done and the current condition is subpar.

[Anonymous]

You need to let her know that you just don’t enjoy this line of conversation.

Like maybe, “I don’t what we’ll do, but I don’t really want to think much about it until a few years down the road when we get to it.”

[Anonymous]

My mother is like this. I just smile and ask "oh, are you volunteering to pay for it? That's so nice of you." She changes the subject pretty much immediately after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the high road:

Smile. “We like it the way it is.” Smile

Change subject

Perfect!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like the idea of turning it back on them.

What are you planning for the kitchen? [Why do you ask - are you making plans for your kitchen? What have you been thinking about?]

When are you going to get new carpet upstairs? [Ugh, carpet replacement - are you going through it right now?]

These are not the people to discuss your ideas with.

I really, really like this idea, too. You can do it pleasantly and politely, but still refrain from answering their questions while making your point. OP, I'm guessing this is either your MIL/FIL or your own parents?

[Anonymous]

Treat rudeness with rudeness. This is all they understand. Just say, "We love our house exactly the way it is. We live here. You don't. In future, You may stay in a hotel."

[Anonymous]

“We haven’t discussed it.”
“I like it the way it is.”
”You keep mentioning renovations when you visit. Is there an issue with things the way they are?”
“We’re not in the mood to make any big updates for a while. I’m sure you understand because you don’t like changing things at home either.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What do you say to people who make these kinds of comments?

]

Get the hell out of my house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Treat rudeness with rudeness. This is all they understand. Just say, "We love our house exactly the way it is. We live here. You don't. In future, You may stay in a hotel."

Fighting fire with fire is always the way to go. Just ignore. I didn't think the examples you gave were all that bad.You presumably mentioned at some point you might do those things, these people are just trying, (badly) to make conversation about something they thought you were interested in. Good grief, lighten up. Do these people and yourselves a favor and don't invite them over anymore. You're wound way too tightly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“We haven’t discussed it.”
“I like it the way it is.”
”You keep mentioning renovations when you visit. Is there an issue with things the way they are?”
“We’re not in the mood to make any big updates for a while. I’m sure you understand because you don’t like changing things at home either.”

Oooo BURN! I like it!

[Anonymous]

OP, we only do maintenance on our house too. We corrected some bad paint/lights when we first moved in, but we don’t have the motivation or energy to do big remodels. And while we could afford to technically, it would come from the vacation budget and I’d rather travel.

However I’ve noticed that most people in this area just assume that everyone else is planning their next remodel. To combat this, I make sure I never talk about “if/when we remodel xyz” because that makes it seem like I’m dreaming of remodeling when I’m not. And if others discuss their remodel or hopes of remodeling, I’m polite but don’t act too interested or ask any follow up questions.

PSA: not everyone cares if they don’t have an HGTV house. I like crisp neutral decor, maintained and clean. But, for example, I have black appliances that work perfectly fine, and would never dream of replacing them until they break.

[Anonymous]

OP - make sure you're not talking about your home

You might be talking about it, have talked about it, you're talking about it here .. what you've done, etc

These family/friends might be use to it being a topic of your conversations. A small bit.

[Anonymous]

life living in shit shack

[Anonymous]

We just don't invite them back.