Do Some TJ Students have somewhat of a disadvantage when applying to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are raising a generation of children to feel that they are "victims" of some system, and this unhealthily teaches them to (at least psychologically) pit themselves against one another like some sort of runaway gladiator games.

I always try to teach my children to work the very hardest that they can, to accept that sometimes even your hardest work and effort will not bring your desired result, and to understand that putting/pulling someone else down does not build you up.

It is really negative for our children to think that I did not get what I worked for because (to post some recent examples on this forum). . . [I am a young woman; I am Asian; I attend TJ, Walt Whitman, or Sidwell; I am not an athlete; I am not wealthy; I am not a minority; I am not a legacy].

I always remind my children that the relative (and large) advantage that they have been given by being raised in an upper-middle class family, educated in an excellent public school district; with the ability to afford tutoring (when necessary) and test prep; and parents who have been supportive and involved in their extracurriculars; so far outweighs any advantage or slight that they perceive in "the process" (whatever one you are complaining about), that they should get over their momentary "victimization" complaint, and instead thank their lucky stars.

Children have an innate sense of fairness. Together with increasing awareness as they become adults, these "children" react to unfairness that many older adults have been conditioned to accept. We would do well to work toward fixing the inequity rather than conditioning our children to accept it.

My children come from an ethic group that was discriminated against in the past, all four of their grandparents were from lower SES, it is manifestly unfair that organizations can legally discriminate against them. They are the victims of affirmative action. I hope they NEVER accept that injustice.

I am the previous poster. My parents are Latin American immigrants who came to this country with nothing but the clothes on their back. Catholic charities helped them find a hold in this country, and my mother did not attend college. I am not saying that African Americans or Latinos or (any other group) should accept pernicious discrimination, quite to the contrary, as I have experienced my fair share of it throughout life (including hurtful childhood comments about my immigration status).

However, I am teaching my children not to look for "slights" in everything, because that negative pattern of perceived "victimization" will never make you happy. Dear son, just because you were not admitted at "X" applying from TJ, does not mean that your high-achieving classmates somehow "cost" you something that you rightfully "deserved". You know what? You were better positioned to be admitted to "Y" precisely because you did attend TJ, and your parents had just enough money to help you with tutors when you needed them, and test prep for the SAT, and we were there for all your football games and track meets. That "life" advantage is so much more than most children in this world could hope and dream for.

And DD (I also have one of those), instead of complaining to me about how you were waitlisted at "Z" because boys have an easier time of it, rejoice that your background advantages helped you to earn your admission at "W".

I am white and would (and have) say exactly the same thing to my own children. I could not agree with more. The idea that my children might think of themselves as "victims" of affirmative action makes me absolutely ill.

The message I hope my children have gotten from me is: The world owes you nothing, but in the lottery that is life, you have had it pretty damn good. Be grateful for your advantages, be humble and generous with others, and make the best of what you've got. Also, quit yer bitchin.'

More truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are raising a generation of children to feel that they are "victims" of some system, and this unhealthily teaches them to (at least psychologically) pit themselves against one another like some sort of runaway gladiator games.

I always try to teach my children to work the very hardest that they can, to accept that sometimes even your hardest work and effort will not bring your desired result, and to understand that putting/pulling someone else down does not build you up.

It is really negative for our children to think that I did not get what I worked for because (to post some recent examples on this forum). . . [I am a young woman; I am Asian; I attend TJ, Walt Whitman, or Sidwell; I am not an athlete; I am not wealthy; I am not a minority; I am not a legacy].

I always remind my children that the relative (and large) advantage that they have been given by being raised in an upper-middle class family, educated in an excellent public school district; with the ability to afford tutoring (when necessary) and test prep; and parents who have been supportive and involved in their extracurriculars; so far outweighs any advantage or slight that they perceive in "the process" (whatever one you are complaining about), that they should get over their momentary "victimization" complaint, and instead thank their lucky stars.

Whao sanctimonious. Who has to listen to you tell all this. Yikes. You sound like a real peach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many from TJ are offered a spot at UVA - - don't quite remember, a third? If the parents are going to insist that the student stay instate, and the student is in the bottom half of the class at TJ, then yes.

Between UVA, W&M, and Vtech: it is 50% of the class. Not that they all go.

[Anonymous]

11:23 Huh? I got the point.

[Anonymous]

TJ students are obviously less likely to be full pay in comparison to grads of top private schools. That is a big disadvantage at top private colleges.

[Anonymous]

PP - totally incorrect assumption. Many kids at TJ can pay full ride in college (and turned down Big 3 to go to TJ - thereby saving their family 4 years * $40,000 that the families were perfectly willing and able to pay).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP - totally incorrect assumption. Many kids at TJ can pay full ride in college (and turned down Big 3 to go to TJ - thereby saving their family 4 years * $40,000 that the families were perfectly willing and able to pay).

+1

[Anonymous]

TJ today is VERY competitive and gives you and idea of why the Ivies have become so hard to get into.

[Anonymous]

TJ makes it very hard for students from NoVA HS to get into Uva and Tech. There are so many admits from TJ and the other NoVa schools that the admissions committee has to look elsewhere in Va to be fair to the rest of the state -- and VA is a big state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TJ makes it very hard for students from NoVA HS to get into Uva and Tech. There are so many admits from TJ and the other NoVa schools that the admissions committee has to look elsewhere in Va to be fair to the rest of the state -- and VA is a big state.

Why? They know from past data that not many TJ grads will end up at Tech. The competition is really from within other NoVa schools, not TJ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TJ makes it very hard for students from NoVA HS to get into Uva and Tech. There are so many admits from TJ and the other NoVa schools that the admissions committee has to look elsewhere in Va to be fair to the rest of the state -- and VA is a big state.

Why? They know from past data that not many TJ grads will end up at Tech. The competition is really from within other NoVa schools, not TJ.

Most TJ students do quite well in terms of college except for maybe the bottom 20% (even those go to somewhat decent schools top 50 - top 75). No need to worry about college since most (about 80%) would be accepted to UVA, W&M or VaTech as safeties.

[Anonymous]

Entirely predictable. Affirmative action has failed miserably and may well be contributing to persistent racial stereotypes. Affirmative action has led to a constellation of "diverse" campuses at which the black and Latino students are BY DESIGN less qualified than the white and Asian students on campus.

The long journey to a truly color blind society cannot even begin until we end legally sanctioned discrimination by race. I'm all for helping kids from lower SES backgrounds, but the children of black lawyers and doctors who were educated in elite private schools should NOT be given preference over the first generation college applicant from a family of white coal miners in West Virginia. Race is NOT a reliable proxy for low SES.

[Anonymous]

the disadvantage they might have is not being well rounded. Too focused on STEM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the disadvantage they might have is not being well rounded. Too focused on STEM

Isn't all the rage now "passion" not being "well-rounded". Didn't "passion" replace being "well-rounded" in college admissions to top schools? The new buzz is how the top colleges are accepting applicants for "well rounded class of students with passion (narrow focus/talent)" rather than "well rounded individuals".

Obviously excluding athletes, legacies, URMs and other hooks of course.

[Anonymous]

Only disadvantage of some TJ students is the Affirmative Action's discriminatory action on Asian TJ students coupled with no hooks.