Do Some TJ Students have somewhat of a disadvantage when applying to college?

[Anonymous]

Here's why I ask...At the UVA tour, the admissions dean clearly stated that a student is judged not against other schools, but by the students in the school that they attend. Whether or not they took advantage of all that was offered at their school, etc. That is so students from rural schools are not compared unfairly against kids from better schools. That said, unless you are at the top of the heap at TJ, are you at a disadvantage?

[Anonymous]

check out this thread

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/377206.page#4994536

discusses this issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's why I ask...At the UVA tour, the admissions dean clearly stated that a student is judged not against other schools, but by the students in the school that they attend. Whether or not they took advantage of all that was offered at their school, etc. That is so students from rural schools are not compared unfairly against kids from better schools. That said, unless you are at the top of the heap at TJ, are you at a disadvantage?

Probably. That's how it works at Langley as well. Most likely at any high school in NoVA. Too many high-achievers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's why I ask...At the UVA tour, the admissions dean clearly stated that a student is judged not against other schools, but by the students in the school that they attend. Whether or not they took advantage of all that was offered at their school, etc. That is so students from rural schools are not compared unfairly against kids from better schools. That said, unless you are at the top of the heap at TJ, are you at a disadvantage?

Probably. That's how it works at Langley as well. Most likely at any high school in NoVA. Too many high-achievers.

Truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's why I ask...At the UVA tour, the admissions dean clearly stated that a student is judged not against other schools, but by the students in the school that they attend. Whether or not they took advantage of all that was offered at their school, etc. That is so students from rural schools are not compared unfairly against kids from better schools. That said, unless you are at the top of the heap at TJ, are you at a disadvantage?

Yopu believe all that BS they say at those things?

[Anonymous]

We are raising a generation of children to feel that they are "victims" of some system, and this unhealthily teaches them to (at least psychologically) pit themselves against one another like some sort of runaway gladiator games.

I always try to teach my children to work the very hardest that they can, to accept that sometimes even your hardest work and effort will not bring your desired result, and to understand that putting/pulling someone else down does not build you up.

It is really negative for our children to think that I did not get what I worked for because (to post some recent examples on this forum). . . [I am a young woman; I am Asian; I attend TJ, Walt Whitman, or Sidwell; I am not an athlete; I am not wealthy; I am not a minority; I am not a legacy].

I always remind my children that the relative (and large) advantage that they have been given by being raised in an upper-middle class family, educated in an excellent public school district; with the ability to afford tutoring (when necessary) and test prep; and parents who have been supportive and involved in their extracurriculars; so far outweighs any advantage or slight that they perceive in "the process" (whatever one you are complaining about), that they should get over their momentary "victimization" complaint, and instead thank their lucky stars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are raising a generation of children to feel that they are "victims" of some system, and this unhealthily teaches them to (at least psychologically) pit themselves against one another like some sort of runaway gladiator games.

I always try to teach my children to work the very hardest that they can, to accept that sometimes even your hardest work and effort will not bring your desired result, and to understand that putting/pulling someone else down does not build you up.

It is really negative for our children to think that I did not get what I worked for because (to post some recent examples on this forum). . . [I am a young woman; I am Asian; I attend TJ, Walt Whitman, or Sidwell; I am not an athlete; I am not wealthy; I am not a minority; I am not a legacy].

I always remind my children that the relative (and large) advantage that they have been given by being raised in an upper-middle class family, educated in an excellent public school district; with the ability to afford tutoring (when necessary) and test prep; and parents who have been supportive and involved in their extracurriculars; so far outweighs any advantage or slight that they perceive in "the process" (whatever one you are complaining about), that they should get over their momentary "victimization" complaint, and instead thank their lucky stars.

Children have an innate sense of fairness. Together with increasing awareness as they become adults, these "children" react to unfairness that many older adults have been conditioned to accept. We would do well to work toward fixing the inequity rather than conditioning our children to accept it.

My children come from an ethic group that was discriminated against in the past, all four of their grandparents were from lower SES, it is manifestly unfair that organizations can legally discriminate against them. They are the victims of affirmative action. I hope they NEVER accept that injustice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are raising a generation of children to feel that they are "victims" of some system, and this unhealthily teaches them to (at least psychologically) pit themselves against one another like some sort of runaway gladiator games.

I always try to teach my children to work the very hardest that they can, to accept that sometimes even your hardest work and effort will not bring your desired result, and to understand that putting/pulling someone else down does not build you up.

It is really negative for our children to think that I did not get what I worked for because (to post some recent examples on this forum). . . [I am a young woman; I am Asian; I attend TJ, Walt Whitman, or Sidwell; I am not an athlete; I am not wealthy; I am not a minority; I am not a legacy].

I always remind my children that the relative (and large) advantage that they have been given by being raised in an upper-middle class family, educated in an excellent public school district; with the ability to afford tutoring (when necessary) and test prep; and parents who have been supportive and involved in their extracurriculars; so far outweighs any advantage or slight that they perceive in "the process" (whatever one you are complaining about), that they should get over their momentary "victimization" complaint, and instead thank their lucky stars.

Children have an innate sense of fairness. Together with increasing awareness as they become adults, these "children" react to unfairness that many older adults have been conditioned to accept. We would do well to work toward fixing the inequity rather than conditioning our children to accept it.

My children come from an ethic group that was discriminated against in the past, all four of their grandparents were from lower SES, it is manifestly unfair that organizations can legally discriminate against them. They are the victims of affirmative action. I hope they NEVER accept that injustice.

I am the previous poster. My parents are Latin American immigrants who came to this country with nothing but the clothes on their back. Catholic charities helped them find a hold in this country, and my mother did not attend college. I am not saying that African Americans or Latinos or (any other group) should accept pernicious discrimination, quite to the contrary, as I have experienced my fair share of it throughout life (including hurtful childhood comments about my immigration status).

However, I am teaching my children not to look for "slights" in everything, because that negative pattern of perceived "victimization" will never make you happy. Dear son, just because you were not admitted at "X" applying from TJ, does not mean that your high-achieving classmates somehow "cost" you something that you rightfully "deserved". You know what? You were better positioned to be admitted to "Y" precisely because you did attend TJ, and your parents had just enough money to help you with tutors when you needed them, and test prep for the SAT, and we were there for all your football games and track meets. That "life" advantage is so much more than most children in this world could hope and dream for.

And DD (I also have one of those), instead of complaining to me about how you were waitlisted at "Z" because boys have an easier time of it, rejoice that your background advantages helped you to earn your admission at "W".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are raising a generation of children to feel that they are "victims" of some system, and this unhealthily teaches them to (at least psychologically) pit themselves against one another like some sort of runaway gladiator games.

I always try to teach my children to work the very hardest that they can, to accept that sometimes even your hardest work and effort will not bring your desired result, and to understand that putting/pulling someone else down does not build you up.

It is really negative for our children to think that I did not get what I worked for because (to post some recent examples on this forum). . . [I am a young woman; I am Asian; I attend TJ, Walt Whitman, or Sidwell; I am not an athlete; I am not wealthy; I am not a minority; I am not a legacy].

I always remind my children that the relative (and large) advantage that they have been given by being raised in an upper-middle class family, educated in an excellent public school district; with the ability to afford tutoring (when necessary) and test prep; and parents who have been supportive and involved in their extracurriculars; so far outweighs any advantage or slight that they perceive in "the process" (whatever one you are complaining about), that they should get over their momentary "victimization" complaint, and instead thank their lucky stars.

Truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are raising a generation of children to feel that they are "victims" of some system, and this unhealthily teaches them to (at least psychologically) pit themselves against one another like some sort of runaway gladiator games.

I always try to teach my children to work the very hardest that they can, to accept that sometimes even your hardest work and effort will not bring your desired result, and to understand that putting/pulling someone else down does not build you up.

It is really negative for our children to think that I did not get what I worked for because (to post some recent examples on this forum). . . [I am a young woman; I am Asian; I attend TJ, Walt Whitman, or Sidwell; I am not an athlete; I am not wealthy; I am not a minority; I am not a legacy].

I always remind my children that the relative (and large) advantage that they have been given by being raised in an upper-middle class family, educated in an excellent public school district; with the ability to afford tutoring (when necessary) and test prep; and parents who have been supportive and involved in their extracurriculars; so far outweighs any advantage or slight that they perceive in "the process" (whatever one you are complaining about), that they should get over their momentary "victimization" complaint, and instead thank their lucky stars.

Children have an innate sense of fairness. Together with increasing awareness as they become adults, these "children" react to unfairness that many older adults have been conditioned to accept. We would do well to work toward fixing the inequity rather than conditioning our children to accept it.

My children come from an ethic group that was discriminated against in the past, all four of their grandparents were from lower SES, it is manifestly unfair that organizations can legally discriminate against them. They are the victims of affirmative action. I hope they NEVER accept that injustice.

I am the previous poster. My parents are Latin American immigrants who came to this country with nothing but the clothes on their back. Catholic charities helped them find a hold in this country, and my mother did not attend college. I am not saying that African Americans or Latinos or (any other group) should accept pernicious discrimination, quite to the contrary, as I have experienced my fair share of it throughout life (including hurtful childhood comments about my immigration status).

However, I am teaching my children not to look for "slights" in everything, because that negative pattern of perceived "victimization" will never make you happy. Dear son, just because you were not admitted at "X" applying from TJ, does not mean that your high-achieving classmates somehow "cost" you something that you rightfully "deserved". You know what? You were better positioned to be admitted to "Y" precisely because you did attend TJ, and your parents had just enough money to help you with tutors when you needed them, and test prep for the SAT, and we were there for all your football games and track meets. That "life" advantage is so much more than most children in this world could hope and dream for.

And DD (I also have one of those), instead of complaining to me about how you were waitlisted at "Z" because boys have an easier time of it, rejoice that your background advantages helped you to earn your admission at "W".

I am white and would (and have) say exactly the same thing to my own children. I could not agree with more. The idea that my children might think of themselves as "victims" of affirmative action makes me absolutely ill.

The message I hope my children have gotten from me is: The world owes you nothing, but in the lottery that is life, you have had it pretty damn good. Be grateful for your advantages, be humble and generous with others, and make the best of what you've got. Also, quit yer bitchin.'

[Anonymous]

How many from TJ are offered a spot at UVA - - don't quite remember, a third? If the parents are going to insist that the student stay instate, and the student is in the bottom half of the class at TJ, then yes.

[Anonymous]

Yes of course.

At my high school, back when EA was a binding contract, 2 kids got into Stanford. The rest of us that applied regular action (some with better credentials) did not despite getting into better colleges. I was later told that it was because our high school hit the max quota from one school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many from TJ are offered a spot at UVA - - don't quite remember, a third? If the parents are going to insist that the student stay instate, and the student is in the bottom half of the class at TJ, then yes.

About 200 per year are accepted looking at the last 4 - 5 years.

[Anonymous]

OP,

This is the way it works for all schools, not just TJ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

This is the way it works for all schools, not just TJ.

Yes, but the point is that a talented student at a "regular" high school will look better in admissions than a talented kid at TJ.

My friends in a very tough, top college learned this difficult lesson about medical school. Didn't matter my friend with a 3.8 GPA got only one med school interview (and thankfully got in).