Do you cuss at your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh get off your high horse, OP.

I recently got laid off. Then I promptly paid $400 for DD's birthday party, $500 towards orthodontia, and $200 for her ice skating. Right after that DD overheard me venting to a friend about how scared I was, rent was coming up, etc.

Not a half hour later we were at the drugstore and DD came running over from the toy aisle with some piece of junk made in China that was totally un-needed and I'd just finished telling DD on the walk that we were then going to the grocery store to get her the special soft food she needs due to her teeth issues and I lost it and was like "Are you f*cking KIDDING me?!"

So, Dear Prissy OP,

Please stop thinking you know the whole background before you judge. Bravo to you for not cursing ever in your life. I curse. My kid will live.
Signed,
Stressed out blah blah blah mom who curses at her kid sometimes and isn't worried one wit about it,

Cursing at her in that context isn't the bad part, but making sure she knows how stressed you are about money IS. Don't let her feel that burden.

[Anonymous]

Very very rarely do I use a cuss word in front of my kids or towards my kids. But it has happened.
- an imperfect mom trying her best

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very very rarely do I use a cuss word in front of my kids or towards my kids. But it has happened.
- an imperfect mom trying her best

Me too.

[Anonymous]

I think it's very disrespectful. I was cussed at as a child and I hated it. I grumble things to myself like - I wish you would get in the fucking car - I'm so fucking tired - occasionally. But not directly to her. I'm working on it.

[Anonymous]

Although I never curse at my kids or have hardly ever cursed in earshot of them, I do yell at them, sometimes a lot, mostly when I'm tired and extremely fed up with their behavior. I know that's not great parenting, either. But at the end of the day, when I say good night to them, I kiss them and tell them I love them. And they do know it. And I know all the annoying things they did during the day doesn't mean they aren't great kids. The next day, we start over, and it keeps going. We try everyday to be better parents like they try everyday to listen better and follow directions. We fall down, then get back up. There's no other choice. You just keep going. But you gotta try to be better everyday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very very rarely do I use a cuss word in front of my kids or towards my kids. But it has happened.
- an imperfect mom trying her best

Yes. OP, hopefully what you saw at McDonalds was not representative of that parent's normal behavior. But, sadly, it may have been . . . not much you can do.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I know she's probably not reading DCUMs. Come on. That wasn't why I posted it. And I curse around my child at times (traffic near misses for example) so im far from oerfect or sitting on my high hirse judging, but I'm sorry but I just don't think it's ok to curse AT your child ever. Or at least certainly not a child in elem school. And the PP paying $400 for a birthday party and $200 for ice skating is just poor judgement. It would have been smarter to buy her the cheap $2.00 toy. Job market is rough out there.. Trust me I know, I'm about to get laid off as well but I'm still not cursing.

[Anonymous]

OP, great for you that you don't curse. You sound very judgmental, though. That mom was being so mean to her kid, it's a different thing, and you shouldn't lump her with all the PPs who are likely great moms who sometimes get frustrated and slip.

Even though the McD mom was mean in what she said and clearly does not have the wonderful cultural sophistication we do to read this great site, that doesn't mean it wasn't just a bad moment and she truly adores her kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you OP. The comment you overheard is not okay.

And yes, I do swear around my kid on occasion (I hurt myself, get cut off in traffic, etc). It just comes out. But I would never, ever swear AT my young kid in anger. I grew up in a household with lots of yelling and swearing, both in public and at home, and I always vowed to never do that to my kid. I know how much it cuts you down emotionally and I bear the scars to this day. I'm not perfect, but I do hold the line with this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh get off your high horse, OP.

I recently got laid off. Then I promptly paid $400 for DD's birthday party, $500 towards orthodontia, and $200 for her ice skating. Right after that DD overheard me venting to a friend about how scared I was, rent was coming up, etc.

Not a half hour later we were at the drugstore and DD came running over from the toy aisle with some piece of junk made in China that was totally un-needed and I'd just finished telling DD on the walk that we were then going to the grocery store to get her the special soft food she needs due to her teeth issues and I lost it and was like "Are you f*cking KIDDING me?!"

So, Dear Prissy OP,

Please stop thinking you know the whole background before you judge. Bravo to you for not cursing ever in your life. I curse. My kid will live.
Signed,
Stressed out blah blah blah mom who curses at her kid sometimes and isn't worried one wit about it,

Jesus. For your child's sake I hope you find a new job.

I sometimes curse near my children, but I try to avoid cursing AT them. I also try to avoid yelling at them. But, sometimes I slip.

Everyone slips up in some way or another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know she's probably not reading DCUMs. Come on. That wasn't why I posted it. And I curse around my child at times (traffic near misses for example) so im far from oerfect or sitting on my high hirse judging, but I'm sorry but I just don't think it's ok to curse AT your child ever. Or at least certainly not a child in elem school. And the PP paying $400 for a birthday party and $200 for ice skating is just poor judgement. It would have been smarter to buy her the cheap $2.00 toy. Job market is rough out there.. Trust me I know, I'm about to get laid off as well but I'm still not cursing.

Wait, so you know she is not reading this AND you admit you do things you don't think are okay on occasion, but when you slip up it's forgivable because... not sure, you don't say why. You just posted to make yourself feel better than a random stranger? I don't curse in traffic so I guess by your standards I'm a better parent than you. Yay me! (I also love when people say, "I have not experienced what you have but because I've come close or IMAGINED myself experiencing it I know I would handle myself better. Come back and post once you've actually been laid off. I am not that PP BTW.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh get off your high horse, OP.

I recently got laid off. Then I promptly paid $400 for DD's birthday party, $500 towards orthodontia, and $200 for her ice skating. Right after that DD overheard me venting to a friend about how scared I was, rent was coming up, etc.

Not a half hour later we were at the drugstore and DD came running over from the toy aisle with some piece of junk made in China that was totally un-needed and I'd just finished telling DD on the walk that we were then going to the grocery store to get her the special soft food she needs due to her teeth issues and I lost it and was like "Are you f*cking KIDDING me?!"

So, Dear Prissy OP,

Please stop thinking you know the whole background before you judge. Bravo to you for not cursing ever in your life. I curse. My kid will live.
Signed,
Stressed out blah blah blah mom who curses at her kid sometimes and isn't worried one wit about it,

Jesus. For your child's sake I hope you find a new job.

What a stupid (fucking) comment. Duh! Of course it would be a good thing for her to get a job for her child's sake.

[Anonymous]

Laid off or not, I would say f*%! To my child.

[Anonymous]

I try to avoid cursing to them, but honestly OP, you don't know what people are dealing with. Sometimes, parents have harsh words. Maybe she never curses, and she was under extra stress. I never thought I would say or do many things that I ended up doing out of sheer frustration.

My parents NEVER cursed, and my sister and I were in our tweens, we did something really crappy, and my dad cursed at us. He apologized later, and honestly, I don't remember what we were doing, but I do remember that we deserved it. He's an amazing dad. But he's also human.

So get off your high horse, OP. You aren't that special...

[Anonymous]

OP I have witnessed what you mentioned. I see it all the time on the bus in particular. It definitely seems more common among lower income AA moms. I know they are stressed, working crappy jobs, and relying on public transportation. but it is NOT OK to curse at you children. If thats how they act in public, imagine what is going on behind closed doors. Its not being judgmental. Its thinking about being decent and kind to children who aren't to blame for the bad decisions of parents.