Do you cuss at your children?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP I have witnessed what you mentioned. I see it all the time on the bus in particular. It definitely seems more common among lower income AA moms. I know they are stressed, working crappy jobs, and relying on public transportation. but it is NOT OK to curse at you children. If thats how they act in public, imagine what is going on behind closed doors. Its not being judgmental. Its thinking about being decent and kind to children who aren't to blame for the bad decisions of parents. [/quote

Um, maybe this is "common" among lower income moms you see on the bus because lower income people are the ones who have to ride the bus. Maybe higher HHI parents cuss in the privacy of their own cars, like one PP already mentioned.... But how would you know, since you're on the bus with the riff raff.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP I have witnessed what you mentioned. I see it all the time on the bus in particular. It definitely seems more common among lower income AA moms. I know they are stressed, working crappy jobs, and relying on public transportation. but it is NOT OK to curse at you children. If thats how they act in public, imagine what is going on behind closed doors. Its not being judgmental. Its thinking about being decent and kind to children who aren't to blame for the bad decisions of parents.



Um, maybe this is "common" among lower income moms you see on the bus because lower income people are the ones who have to ride the bus. Maybe higher HHI parents cuss in the privacy of their own cars, like one PP already mentioned.... But how would you know, since you're on the bus with the riff raff.
Anonymous
I would never curse at my child. I have though, on occasion, slipped and said a bad word in front of him. He always calls me on it though, and tells me that I said a bad word (he just turned 3).

Apparently, at preschool, they've taught him that "stupid" is a bad word too. I used to say that a lot - not calling people stupid, but referencing something, like "oh, that's stupid". I've had to be thoughful of saying "that's silly" instead, because he called me out on using stupid now.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP I have witnessed what you mentioned. I see it all the time on the bus in particular. It definitely seems more common among lower income AA moms. I know they are stressed, working crappy jobs, and relying on public transportation. but it is NOT OK to curse at you children. If thats how they act in public, imagine what is going on behind closed doors. Its not being judgmental. Its thinking about being decent and kind to children who aren't to blame for the bad decisions of parents.

...HMMM and the point of this is what? geez
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I know she's probably not reading DCUMs. Come on. That wasn't why I posted it. And I curse around my child at times (traffic near misses for example) so im far from oerfect or sitting on my high hirse judging, but I'm sorry but I just don't think it's ok to curse AT your child ever. Or at least certainly not a child in elem school. And the PP paying $400 for a birthday party and $200 for ice skating is just poor judgement. It would have been smarter to buy her the cheap $2.00 toy. Job market is rough out there.. Trust me I know, I'm about to get laid off as well but I'm still not cursing.

boy....this just proves that the entire point of your post was to make yourself feel better than that other mom...
and I'm someone who thinks what she did was inappropriate...but so is what you are doing..
Anonymous
Saying "Are you f#$@ing kidding me?" is demeaning. If your boss said that to you you would feel like a stupid cow and that would be the intention.

I'm not being sanctimonious, just truthful.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:God no. That is terrible and tacky.


Yeah - I am sure she was concerned about being tacky on the bus.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Very very rarely do I use a cuss word in front of my kids or towards my kids. But it has happened.
- an imperfect mom trying her best


Yes. OP, hopefully what you saw at McDonalds was not representative of that parent's normal behavior. But, sadly, it may have been . . . not much you can do.


If the parent acts like that in public, I'm pretty sure they're worse in private.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP I have witnessed what you mentioned. I see it all the time on the bus in particular. It definitely seems more common among lower income AA moms. I know they are stressed, working crappy jobs, and relying on public transportation. but it is NOT OK to curse at you children. If thats how they act in public, imagine what is going on behind closed doors. Its not being judgmental. Its thinking about being decent and kind to children who aren't to blame for the bad decisions of parents.


Let's clarify. The mother did not curse AT her child. She did not call him a little s#$t. She used a curse word in a sentence when speaking to him. Not ideal, but you know what - shit happens.

Beyond that - I LOVE that you single out lower income AA moms. I am a white TF kid and I curse. So there.

When I think about all the lovely, god-fearing, hard working AA people out there who would never, under any circumstance, curse at anyone, I feel sad that you are doing them this disservice.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ugh get off your high horse, OP.

I recently got laid off. Then I promptly paid $400 for DD's birthday party, $500 towards orthodontia, and $200 for her ice skating. Right after that DD overheard me venting to a friend about how scared I was, rent was coming up, etc.

Not a half hour later we were at the drugstore and DD came running over from the toy aisle with some piece of junk made in China that was totally un-needed and I'd just finished telling DD on the walk that we were then going to the grocery store to get her the special soft food she needs due to her teeth issues and I lost it and was like "Are you f*cking KIDDING me?!"

So, Dear Prissy OP,

Please stop thinking you know the whole background before you judge. Bravo to you for not cursing ever in your life. I curse. My kid will live.
Signed,
Stressed out blah blah blah mom who curses at her kid sometimes and isn't worried one wit about it,


Cursing at her in that context isn't the bad part, but making sure she knows how stressed you are about money IS. Don't let her feel that burden.


This is true. You should talk to her about changes--having to be more frugal and patient about spending--but control the information and details. There's some helpful information about this online. Sorry your family is struggling, PP.
Anonymous
I try not to yell at or speak unkindly to my kids. i'd say i do a good job. from time to time, however, something happens that makes me frustrated or angry and a g-damnit slips out. never realized how often until my 4 year old said it out of the blue in the car once. oops.
Anonymous
Hell yeah but w/ limits
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Saying "Are you f#$@ing kidding me?" is demeaning. If your boss said that to you you would feel like a stupid cow and that would be the intention.

I'm not being sanctimonious, just truthful.


Well sometimes kids need to be knocked down a few notches. Nothing wrong with that, it's what you do to prevent your kids from being entitled brats. Jesus.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Dear exhausted mom getting off the bus with her two boys,

I am sure you may be stressed out, overextended and tired but when your son asked if you could stop at mcdonald's did you really need to yell, "do you have f@*%$ money!!??"
He couldn't have been more than eight years old. He doesn't deserve to be spoken to that way!

Signed,
Stressed out, overextended, tired mom who would never curse at her child


OP. Do you understand that by posting this you are so much worse of a person than that mother?


+1. Smuggy McSmuggerton OP.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP I have witnessed what you mentioned. I see it all the time on the bus in particular. It definitely seems more common among lower income AA moms. I know they are stressed, working crappy jobs, and relying on public transportation. but it is NOT OK to curse at you children. If thats how they act in public, imagine what is going on behind closed doors. Its not being judgmental. Its thinking about being decent and kind to children who aren't to blame for the bad decisions of parents.


Let's clarify. The mother did not curse AT her child. She did not call him a little s#$t. She used a curse word in a sentence when speaking to him. Not ideal, but you know what - shit happens.

Beyond that - I LOVE that you single out lower income AA moms. I am a white TF kid and I curse. So there.

When I think about all the lovely, god-fearing, hard working AA people out there who would never, under any circumstance, curse at anyone, I feel sad that you are doing them this disservice.

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