Age gap or no?
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Anonymous
OP here. He knows her age and they were friends this whole year before he asked her out. I’ve even met him and he seems sweet. I think DD really wants to go. Does this make him a bad person if he knows her age and still asked her out? Is it weird? |
Anonymous
I don't think he's a great guy if he's asking out a high schooler. |
Anonymous
| I think the question isn't him .. it's ... are you a bad Mother. Maybe. Putting a 17 year old in a college setting. Stupid move imho. |
Anonymous
| I was 17 when I stated my freshman year of college. I turned 18 that fall. I was in some ways mature but in other ways not. She’s only a junior in high school so I would say no. |
Anonymous
Agree. But this is what most high school kids are saying today because, unlike when we were their age, it only takes about three “dates” until sexual activity is expected…….and the teen logic is that following this rule will prevent the guy from being accused of statutory rape. |
Anonymous
| My DD dated a 21 year old when she was 18. He refused to date her until she was 18 and a senior in HS. Does this boy know how old she is? My DDs boyfriend was a family friend which is why it wasn’t a big deal for us but it flamed out early, lasted a tumultuous 5 months, where he was way too demanding, even wanting to transfer to the college she was going to attend, which she didn’t want at all. They were just in two different places in life, including locations. |
Anonymous
😂 |
Anonymous
| My rule is my kids must date people their own age. |
Anonymous
Plenty of people start college at 17? One of my good friends started at 16. That being said, I would discourage this relationship, OP. They’re not in the same environment and the difference between high school and college social norms is real. A freshman and a high school senior maaaaaaybe but not a sophomore with a high school junior. |
Anonymous
|
Nope.
DS is 17y and his girlfriend is 19y - but they are both seniors in HS (due to when their birthdays are in the year and she stayed back a year after immigrating from Honodrus as a middle schooler.) But developmentally, they are in the same place (graduating/going to college.) |
Anonymous
| It doesn't make him a bad person. She is taking courses with him at college - any 17 year olds are at college. They are in the stage stage of life and maturity is pretty similar across college years. I wouldn't have any issue with it. A 2-3 year age gap to me is fine. Their ages are secondary to their maturity, being responsible, being respectful and kind, and being compatible. |
Anonymous
|
Mom, you've made this way harder on yourself by setting-up this scenario. Since here you are, I think all you can hope for is adherence to this rule: she's 17. He dates her as if he were 17 too. The youngest age and rules for that age determines it. Curfew, locations. Ideally, time spent at your house. With the family, ideally.
Good luck. Many of us would be in college at 18, so not much older but our parents didn't have to witness this. She's a junior? You redshirted her? |
Anonymous
| It’s fine. Most adult relationships are 2-3 years apart. Plenty of late birthdays enter college at 16/17 as well and have for decades. |
Anonymous
| No pp, 16 year olds are not ordinary residential students at college. |
Anonymous
| I started college at 17 too, so she's not too young to date college aged guys. It's about the person, not the age. |