I honestly don't pay attention. Maybe $100? or less a month. We really don't track it very closely. They've never gone crazy spending. Might not work for everyone but it works for us. |
$300 per month is a LOT for most families. However, you say they don't come close. My teens spend practically nothing because they hardly ever go out with their friends. We look jointly at what new clothes or gear they might need or want, then I pay, because it's all online. My son pays for a few video games with my credit card. Ditto when my daughter buys a few trinkets. OP, I don't quite understand why you're making such a fuss. Yes, teens pay for themselves when they go out, but "pay for themselves" often means with parental money. Your kid has a job. Yes, teens like to talk back. Sometimes it's in the tone, not the words. You have to pick your battles and make the rules that work for you. Your kid really isn't that bratty or out of line. if you want to shut him up, tell him that your household budget doesn't allow for too many frivolous expenses, and his friends probably have richer parents. Also be upfront with him about your ability to pay for college. Start a conversation now about costs. Teens need to understand how exorbitant they are these days! |
His tone was terrible and passive aggressive. My issue is we really do try to be mindful and kind and he starts this fight with me, not understanding that he likely does get as much money bc of the allowance. He just hates spending « his money » but then how will he learn if he can spend ours without thinking as much? He knows we are paying for college, in state probably. I don’t want to go down the richer poorer road bc I don’t think it always necessarily is what impacts how people treat this. I want a balance of him having fun but no entitlement or resentment and it is clearly not working. |
I have 2 seniors.
They have a savings account that has money from all their summer earnings + birthday money from grandparents over the years. Currently they have about 15k in those accounts. That is for college fun money (we are paying They have been getting a weekly allowance for years and that goes into a separate Greenlight account for daily fun money. We pay for car expenses including gas. Plus clothes. They pay for their entertainment, stuff for significant others, etc. We will give money for team dinners, when he gets take out if we are not cooking, etc. Well, they pay and we reimburse. |
This is very much how it works in our house as well. I pay for some things (e.g., gas, most clothing, shoes, some activities), they pay for others. I've gotten the same, "but my friends..." which I ignore and continue to do what *I* feel is appropriate for our household. |
So if you had to give a rough estimate, how much do you spend on each of them per month total? |
Allowance is $18/week ($72/month) + $50ish over the course of the month (that is basically one take out meal/week for when there is a hectic night of sports/our work schedule or some other random thing.) This doesn't count gas ($40/week) but that is almost exclusively to go to school/sports practice/run errands for us. If they were driving more for fun, they would be picking up the cost of gas. |
My kid spend about 1k per month on credit card. Mainly for gas and snacks . Food after school with friends and on weekend. Occasional Ubers when they don’t have access to the car. Occasional movies. But it adds up quickly. |
This would have pissed me off and I would have told him he can buy his own protein powder. But later we would have talked about what sort of relationship he wanted with me and how he treats me has an impact. I give my youngest $100 a month. She uses it for clothes (her choice because I would buy her clothes), nails, and going out with friends. If she’s had a month when she went out a lot or got nails she’ll ask me for money on occasion but most likely she’ll decline invites or go and not eat. Also her choice because I’d give her money. I don’t discourage that because it’s good to learn to manage money. When we go out together, I always treat even if she offers. I will also pay for car insurance and gas for her for awhile as I did with her older siblings. But I won’t buy her a car. I also pay for higher education but there’s a budget. OP I think you are doing well with teaching your kids about money. I also think all kids sometimes say stupid and thoughtless things. I’d address it but I wouldn’t let it bother me too much unless it was all the time. If it was all the time I’d be reducing the extras I give. |