Took DD to a neuropsych eval…. Was diagnosed with a personality disorder instead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think reading more about BPD and the nuances between that and ASD would help you OP. Much more similar than most people recognize.

:idea: BPD and autism are not similar at all. BPD people have no problem making friends and grasping nonverbal communication. Often when you are on their good side, BPD are charismatic and flattering. Autism is characteristized by odd/unsuccessful attempts at socializing and/or reduced interest in socializing.

PP whose son was diagnosed with BPD. What you describe as characteristic of BPD is the polar opposite of my son.

My BPD DD also. These are stereotypes.

BPD is characterized by unstable relationships. Autism is characterized by difficulty in understanding social cues. They are two totally different things.

Not understanding social cues could very easily cause unstable relationships.

Yes but nothing like the drama involved in BPD.

It's not a competition. What you think is intense drama might be mild drama for someone else - and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, being hurt by someone with BPD is not inherently worse than being hurt by someone with autism. Every situation is different.

Oh, I disagree.

Signed,
someone with family members with autism, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and bipolar disorder

DP. Disagree all you want. I have family members with all the disorders you describe plus depression, anxiety, ADHD, substance abuse and just plain old assholitis. In terms of being hurt, it makes no difference which disorder is the 'cause', the impact is the same. The 'cause' is only helpful in trying to understand the interaction (which doesn't mean it does not hurt) and how to remediate it.

Oh, and you don't get to tell someone their feelings are wrong.

Np. I’m at least a third person who disagrees with you. Intention matters to a lot of people. Being hurt by someone with BPD can be very different because of the underlying intentions. Even if the overt actions might be similar in some cases, the impact is not always the same. It can hurt far worse.

Your feelings may not be wrong, but neither are ours. You don’t get to decide that the impact is the same for everyone else.

But this is neither here nor there at this point. One can believe that the motivations of someone with BPD shouldn’t be seen as malevolent and still acknowledge that someone with BPD can cause great pain and distress to others in ways that are fundamentally different than a person with autism.

And given that OP is trying very hard to help their child, I don’t see how arguing this point is helpful in any way.

[Anonymous]

BPD persons know they are mean and do it on purpose, there is a difference between autism and NPD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is horrifying. I would disregard it completely and take her to another evaluator.

I just got around to reading this thread, but your comment really shows what's wrong with neuropsych evals. Many parents are just shopping around for evals because they want to hear that their kid has AuDHD and refuse to acknowledge that something else is wrong with them.

An expert told OP that her daughter has multiple personality disorders. The fact that you and OP just want to disregard it because it's horrifying shows where the daughter gets her narcissism from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BPD persons know they are mean and do it on purpose, there is a difference between autism and NPD.

The behaviors of people with BPD are driven by a deep sense of shame, a desperate fear of abandonment, and a lack of emotional regulation. It may seem purposeful, but it is largely out of their control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is horrifying. I would disregard it completely and take her to another evaluator.

I just got around to reading this thread, but your comment really shows what's wrong with neuropsych evals. Many parents are just shopping around for evals because they want to hear that their kid has AuDHD and refuse to acknowledge that something else is wrong with them.

An expert told OP that her daughter has multiple personality disorders. The fact that you and OP just want to disregard it because it's horrifying shows where the daughter gets her narcissism from.

I do not want to think that it is that one wants to disregard it. It's hard to be blindsided when it comes to your kid, as a parent. I got the diagnosis we expected and even that was hard. I think that OP is shocked, scared, and lacks an understanding from the tester/PHD as to how the testing bore this conclusion (which is why many above said to recontact the tester/PHD).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, being hurt by someone with BPD is not inherently worse than being hurt by someone with autism. Every situation is different.

Oh, I disagree.

Signed,
someone with family members with autism, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and bipolar disorder

DP. Disagree all you want. I have family members with all the disorders you describe plus depression, anxiety, ADHD, substance abuse and just plain old assholitis. In terms of being hurt, it makes no difference which disorder is the 'cause', the impact is the same. The 'cause' is only helpful in trying to understand the interaction (which doesn't mean it does not hurt) and how to remediate it.

Oh, and you don't get to tell someone their feelings are wrong.

Np. I’m at least a third person who disagrees with you. Intention matters to a lot of people. Being hurt by someone with BPD can be very different because of the underlying intentions. Even if the overt actions might be similar in some cases, the impact is not always the same. It can hurt far worse.

Your feelings may not be wrong, but neither are ours. You don’t get to decide that the impact is the same for everyone else.

But this is neither here nor there at this point. One can believe that the motivations of someone with BPD shouldn’t be seen as malevolent and still acknowledge that someone with BPD can cause great pain and distress to others in ways that are fundamentally different than a person with autism.

And given that OP is trying very hard to help their child, I don’t see how arguing this point is helpful in any way.

Seems you're the only one who is arguing that the level of 'hurt' depends on the diagnosis and that 'intention' matters to the victims/targets. It might matter to you but you ought to get your head out of the sand a look at all the videos of people acting horribly. No one cares or wonders what motivated the hater to be so ugly. When students erupt in the classroom or playground, no one claims witnesses are less impacted when it's done by a student with a disability. Impact, not intention, is what matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, being hurt by someone with BPD is not inherently worse than being hurt by someone with autism. Every situation is different.

Oh, I disagree.

Signed,
someone with family members with autism, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and bipolar disorder

DP. Disagree all you want. I have family members with all the disorders you describe plus depression, anxiety, ADHD, substance abuse and just plain old assholitis. In terms of being hurt, it makes no difference which disorder is the 'cause', the impact is the same. The 'cause' is only helpful in trying to understand the interaction (which doesn't mean it does not hurt) and how to remediate it.

Oh, and you don't get to tell someone their feelings are wrong.

Np. I’m at least a third person who disagrees with you. Intention matters to a lot of people. Being hurt by someone with BPD can be very different because of the underlying intentions. Even if the overt actions might be similar in some cases, the impact is not always the same. It can hurt far worse.

Your feelings may not be wrong, but neither are ours. You don’t get to decide that the impact is the same for everyone else.

But this is neither here nor there at this point. One can believe that the motivations of someone with BPD shouldn’t be seen as malevolent and still acknowledge that someone with BPD can cause great pain and distress to others in ways that are fundamentally different than a person with autism.

And given that OP is trying very hard to help their child, I don’t see how arguing this point is helpful in any way.

Seems you're the only one who is arguing that the level of 'hurt' depends on the diagnosis and that 'intention' matters to the victims/targets. It might matter to you but you ought to get your head out of the sand a look at all the videos of people acting horribly. No one cares or wonders what motivated the hater to be so ugly. When students erupt in the classroom or playground, no one claims witnesses are less impacted when it's done by a student with a disability. Impact, not intention, is what matters.

Not the only person. You should ask yourself why this matters so much to you that others hold the same opinion as you on this?

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe I’m the only one who thinks 21 is still too early to give personality disorder diagnoses. I think that’s extremely risky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, being hurt by someone with BPD is not inherently worse than being hurt by someone with autism. Every situation is different.

Oh, I disagree.

Signed,
someone with family members with autism, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and bipolar disorder

DP. Disagree all you want. I have family members with all the disorders you describe plus depression, anxiety, ADHD, substance abuse and just plain old assholitis. In terms of being hurt, it makes no difference which disorder is the 'cause', the impact is the same. The 'cause' is only helpful in trying to understand the interaction (which doesn't mean it does not hurt) and how to remediate it.

Oh, and you don't get to tell someone their feelings are wrong.

Np. I’m at least a third person who disagrees with you. Intention matters to a lot of people. Being hurt by someone with BPD can be very different because of the underlying intentions. Even if the overt actions might be similar in some cases, the impact is not always the same. It can hurt far worse.

Your feelings may not be wrong, but neither are ours. You don’t get to decide that the impact is the same for everyone else.

But this is neither here nor there at this point. One can believe that the motivations of someone with BPD shouldn’t be seen as malevolent and still acknowledge that someone with BPD can cause great pain and distress to others in ways that are fundamentally different than a person with autism.

And given that OP is trying very hard to help their child, I don’t see how arguing this point is helpful in any way.

Seems you're the only one who is arguing that the level of 'hurt' depends on the diagnosis and that 'intention' matters to the victims/targets. It might matter to you but you ought to get your head out of the sand a look at all the videos of people acting horribly. No one cares or wonders what motivated the hater to be so ugly. When students erupt in the classroom or playground, no one claims witnesses are less impacted when it's done by a student with a disability. Impact, not intention, is what matters.

Not the only person. You should ask yourself why this matters so much to you that others hold the same opinion as you on this?

DP. Okay. I don't know why you think everyone feels the same way you do but, whatever. Have a good day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, being hurt by someone with BPD is not inherently worse than being hurt by someone with autism. Every situation is different.

Oh, I disagree.

Signed,
someone with family members with autism, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and bipolar disorder

DP. Disagree all you want. I have family members with all the disorders you describe plus depression, anxiety, ADHD, substance abuse and just plain old assholitis. In terms of being hurt, it makes no difference which disorder is the 'cause', the impact is the same. The 'cause' is only helpful in trying to understand the interaction (which doesn't mean it does not hurt) and how to remediate it.

Oh, and you don't get to tell someone their feelings are wrong.

it does matter because the behavior is different. For example, I never had an autistic person deliberately ruin another person’s wedding through a calculated series of actions. But I sure know a BPD person who did that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, being hurt by someone with BPD is not inherently worse than being hurt by someone with autism. Every situation is different.

Oh, I disagree.

Signed,
someone with family members with autism, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and bipolar disorder

DP. Disagree all you want. I have family members with all the disorders you describe plus depression, anxiety, ADHD, substance abuse and just plain old assholitis. In terms of being hurt, it makes no difference which disorder is the 'cause', the impact is the same. The 'cause' is only helpful in trying to understand the interaction (which doesn't mean it does not hurt) and how to remediate it.

Oh, and you don't get to tell someone their feelings are wrong.

it does matter because the behavior is different. For example, I never had an autistic person deliberately ruin another person’s wedding through a calculated series of actions. But I sure know a BPD person who did that!

I’m sorry that you have experienced this. It sounds very difficult. But your use of deliberate and calculated indicate that you don’t understand what drives BPD behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, being hurt by someone with BPD is not inherently worse than being hurt by someone with autism. Every situation is different.

Oh, I disagree.

Signed,
someone with family members with autism, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and bipolar disorder

DP. Disagree all you want. I have family members with all the disorders you describe plus depression, anxiety, ADHD, substance abuse and just plain old assholitis. In terms of being hurt, it makes no difference which disorder is the 'cause', the impact is the same. The 'cause' is only helpful in trying to understand the interaction (which doesn't mean it does not hurt) and how to remediate it.

Oh, and you don't get to tell someone their feelings are wrong.

it does matter because the behavior is different. For example, I never had an autistic person deliberately ruin another person’s wedding through a calculated series of actions. But I sure know a BPD person who did that!

I’m sorry that you have experienced this. It sounds very difficult. But your use of deliberate and calculated indicate that you don’t understand what drives BPD behavior.

Seriously - why does that matter? I originally brought this up to discuss how the type of socially dysfunctional behavior is very different in autism vs BPD. And yes that hinges on how it is received. With autism it’s generally awkward or offputting or “inappropriate” and sometimes blunt/insulting. With BPD it’s things like direct and vivid attacks on you personally, efforts to disrupt relationships, baseless accusations, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IMO, being hurt by someone with BPD is not inherently worse than being hurt by someone with autism. Every situation is different.

Oh, I disagree.

Signed,
someone with family members with autism, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and bipolar disorder

DP. Disagree all you want. I have family members with all the disorders you describe plus depression, anxiety, ADHD, substance abuse and just plain old assholitis. In terms of being hurt, it makes no difference which disorder is the 'cause', the impact is the same. The 'cause' is only helpful in trying to understand the interaction (which doesn't mean it does not hurt) and how to remediate it.

Oh, and you don't get to tell someone their feelings are wrong.

it does matter because the behavior is different. For example, I never had an autistic person deliberately ruin another person’s wedding through a calculated series of actions. But I sure know a BPD person who did that!

I've seen the very same thing caused by a person with BPD. I think weddings are seen as a great stage for attention seekers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think reading more about BPD and the nuances between that and ASD would help you OP. Much more similar than most people recognize.

:idea: BPD and autism are not similar at all. BPD people have no problem making friends and grasping nonverbal communication. Often when you are on their good side, BPD are charismatic and flattering. Autism is characteristized by odd/unsuccessful attempts at socializing and/or reduced interest in socializing.

PP whose son was diagnosed with BPD. What you describe as characteristic of BPD is the polar opposite of my son.

My BPD DD also. These are stereotypes.

BPD is characterized by unstable relationships. Autism is characterized by difficulty in understanding social cues. They are two totally different things.

Not understanding social cues could very easily cause unstable relationships.

Yes but nothing like the drama involved in BPD.

It's not a competition. What you think is intense drama might be mild drama for someone else - and vice versa.

DP. BPD drama tends to exceed "mild drama" quite regularly.