Notify party host I will bring extra kid (pay privately) or not

[Anonymous]

DD has a birthday invite, and we have rsvp 1 kid + 1 child. I just realize that DS has a game ended shortly before the birthday party start time. If I need to drop him off back at home, I will be rushing like crazy back and off to attend the party. DH will be working at home with meeting , that's why he can't help out.

It is a public birthday indoor playground venue. I am thinking to pay DS to get in to play, then I don't have to rush home. He does not really want to interact with other younger kids like DD's friends who are 4 years younger than him. Out of manner, do I really have to let the host in advance that I will pay my son to be there privately to play? Other families will see him being there. They look so similar. If I text message host, they may want to cover him out of being nice or obligation. I can afford to get my DS in. I prefer to just notify host at the party once after I pay him to get him inside. He does not need to eat their food since I can feed him with snacks. Is that okay?

[Anonymous]

Drop off the party guest and take your other kid out for breakfast/lunch. What you are suggesting is not necessary,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drop off the party guest and take your other kid out for breakfast/lunch. What you are suggesting is not necessary,

Op here. I forgot to mention that DD is 5. It is a busy indoor playground public venue, and I don't think the host wants to take care of my 5 year old. She is too young to be dropped off at this venue.

[Anonymous]

I would let them know you are bringing him and will pay for entry and food but otherwise you’d need to cancel.

[Anonymous]

You text them and say “Hey, I will need to have DS with us, is that okay? Obviously we will pay for his admission”

Someone did this for my kid’s birthday and it was fine. I was even able to scrape together an extra goodie bag for the sibling.

[Anonymous]

DOn't say anything. Just go and pay. Maybe he can bring a friend you can also pay for, but otherwise, it's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You text them and say “Hey, I will need to have DS with us, is that okay? Obviously we will pay for his admission”

Someone did this for my kid’s birthday and it was fine. I was even able to scrape together an extra goodie bag for the sibling.

See, I would be like you, but DCUm is full of people ready to take offense at anything. path of least resistance: just show up, pay, and make sure extra kid avoids the party room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You text them and say “Hey, I will need to have DS with us, is that okay? Obviously we will pay for his admission”

Someone did this for my kid’s birthday and it was fine. I was even able to scrape together an extra goodie bag for the sibling.

I would insist on paying if someone sent me that and I was hosting.

[Anonymous]

If you tell the hosts in advance you’re doing better than half the families who came to my kid’s birthday party at a trampoline park and brought the whole damn family lol. (Yes they did pay separate for each kid, but we didn’t have enough pizza because we got about 50% more guests than we were expecting!) It’s fairly expected at these types of parties but good communication is very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your other kid can get a ride home from the game or go home with a friend for awhile. A 9 yr old doesn’t belong at a preschool party

[Anonymous]

Op here. Correction, i have rsvp " 1 kid + 1 adult". That's what I meant.

I just want to confirm that it is not rude to bring extra kid to public venue if he avoids the party room & I pay his admission fee. He may interact with his sister there, but he definitely has no interests interacting with his sister's classmates. He does not need the goodie bag, that saves host troubles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You text them and say “Hey, I will need to have DS with us, is that okay? Obviously we will pay for his admission”

Someone did this for my kid’s birthday and it was fine. I was even able to scrape together an extra goodie bag for the sibling.

I would insist on paying if someone sent me that and I was hosting.

PP here. Venue parties have limits on the amount of kids you can have, and we were already at the limit. The other parent did the socially correct thing of paying for their extra uninvited kid, and also staying and supervising them.

[Anonymous]

Is this like a Dave and Buster's type place?

[Anonymous]

I would tell the host...."hey, can't wait to come. Wanted to let you know that because of scheduling, I'll be bringing Larlo's sibling but will be paying for him separately, and he won't be a part of the party."

People have told us this before and it's totally fine. They've also not told us this and it's been totally fine. As the party host, I won't be pre-planning to pay for extra siblings, but if there's a no-show, I'd love for a random tagalong sibling to utilize what I've already paid for. That happened at the last party we threw and I was happy to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your other kid can get a ride home from the game or go home with a friend for awhile. A 9 yr old doesn’t belong at a preschool party

It sounds like it’s a public play place so there likely are already going to be 9 year olds there.

I’ve had to bring a sibling in the past. I emailed the host a heads up that in order to bring my invited child, I’d also have to bring a sibling along, but we would pay separately and my older child would do their own thing separate of the party. Turns out the host had an older child the same age as mine (and they knew each other from school) so they were like that bring him, [birthday boy]’s older brother will be glad to have another same aged kid to play with. The host paid his admission ahead of time, which was kind but totally unnecessary. I would have been happy to pay.

If it were a privately rented venue like Little Gym where it was *only* younger kids there though we probably would have skipped the party since I didn’t have childcare for my older kid. Or I’d make my 9 y/o come along and sit on the outside of the little kid activity with a book or iPad. Not sure why anyone would care about that. He would understand he isn’t a party guest and would not expect cake or anything from the little kids.