Being given a direct who cries often but is very well liked in the office

[Anonymous]

How do you manage someone who cries often in work settings but is very well liked (I.e. letting them go is frowned upon by upper mgmt hence the shift from colleague to colleague when it comes to their management)

[Anonymous]

Do they only cry in one on one conversations or in multi-person meetings? I'd ask them (during a time when they're not crying) how they'd like met to handle it when they DO cry. My instinct is to ignore the tears and power through. They're an adult and it's their job to manage their emotions.

[Anonymous]

This person has been dumped on you. It's your turn to babysit.

[Anonymous]

Your premise is suspect because you don't mention whether this person works well. Crying shouldn't matter if their work is good. If the work is NOT good, then you need to provide a lot of evidence of that to let them go.

[Anonymous]

Silo them away from everyone else. Then they can cry to their heart's content.

[Anonymous]

"Cries often?" Often? That is inappropriate and unprofessional. Why are they crying? I think what to do about it depends on why they cry. Are they crying in response to feedback when their work is not at par and you have to discuss it with them? Or are they crying in their cubicle all the time because of personal reasons? Or do you have a job, like in an ER or something, where emotional things like people dying happens and they cry while others manage not to? What are the circumstances?

I have only worked with one person who could be described as crying "often" and there was a lot she couldn't handle. Including getting to work on time or at all and so eventually she was let go for that (and again from her next job as well from what I heard).

But yeah, you haven't told us enough at all.

[Anonymous]

I have cried at work because I was in an extremely hostile work environment. When asked to speak about it, I cry because I have PTsd. Has the person cried in front of you? And why? Or did someone just tell you they cried a lot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This person has been dumped on you. It's your turn to babysit.

The fact that upper management likes them means there is more to this story than OP knows.

If this person has been “crying a lot” at work consider that maybe there’s a reason for it and try to be supportive.

[Anonymous]

Depending on the circumstances, I would ignore or ask if they need a minute to compose themselves (said nicely).

In fact, the more I think about it, crying is a normal emotional reaction, similar to anger, disdain/contempt, frustration, etc. How do you manage employees who exhibit these emotions in the workplace?

[Anonymous]

What is the actual job and are they good at it? I don’t care if my staff accountant cries all the time as long as the accounts are reconciled and the journal entries are done.

[Anonymous]

Wondering the same as everyone else here- why no mention about their actual performance?

If they do a good job, who cares about the tears. Some people are more emotional than others. I like PPs suggestion to talk to the person when they are not emoting - “I want to support you however is most helpful - when you are struggling with something, how can I help? Do you like to talk things out, or just have a safe place to vent?”

If they are bad at their job & just the CEO’s niece or something, & you just need to withstand it, then do that. When they cry, say “you seem upset, why don’t you go (to your office, the bathroom, wherever)” & move on with your day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you manage someone who cries often in work settings but is very well liked (I.e. letting them go is frowned upon by upper mgmt hence the shift from colleague to colleague when it comes to their management)

You tell them to get their shit together and that crying in the office is unprofessional and grounds for dismissal

[Anonymous]

"Crying" by itself is not the issue. You need to tell us what the real problem is. "Sobbing so loudly that it distracts others and makes them uncomfortable." "Missing meetings." "Not meeting deadlines." "Not communicating well."

+1 to the PP who said to ask the employee how they would prefer you handled it. If I was ever overwhelmed or embarrassed enough to cry at work, I would 100% want people to ignore it. But that's just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do they only cry in one on one conversations or in multi-person meetings? I'd ask them (during a time when they're not crying) how they'd like met to handle it when they DO cry. My instinct is to ignore the tears and power through. They're an adult and it's their job to manage their emotions.

Agree with this. I sometimes cry at inappropriate times and I really can’t do anything about it. Just keep a box of tissues handy and carry on as if it’s not happening.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately I cried recently expressing frustration about management’s expectations to a (non-manager) colleague who is training me. She was great about it and said basically “I can tell you’re frustrated, what do you think we should be doing instead?” I told her and she said she agreed and we decided to pitch that plan to the manager.

It had been years since I’d last cried at work, but I used to have trouble managing my perfectionism and not panicking in response to feedback. I finally figured out (a) I can’t cry and drink water at the same time and (b) nobody expected me to instantly improve the moment I heard feedback and it was okay to circle back and get more clarification.

It does make me mad that crying is such an unacceptable emotion at work while other emotions - such as anger - aren’t treated the same way. I had a supervisor who would yell, pound on the desk, and punch the wall. Somehow it was kind of “well, that’s how he gets when he’s frustrated” but when I would tear up it was “that will hold you back•