How do we politely tell DD to stay quiet about her summer?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| We currently live in a small town with few summer recreational opportunities. Thankfully we have the funds and family to do things non-locally, and so DD10 is signed up for quite a few camps and trips this upcoming summer (all things she wants to do and has asked for, so no issues there). I do realize how this looks to her classmates who are simply put in daycare for the summer. How do tell DD that she doesn't need to tell all her friends about the experiences she'll have this summer that they won't? |
Anonymous
| Does she now already know to do this at 10? We tell our kid not to brag about everything and she figured it out by 8. She can be excited about things and its ok to share a little but not brag. |
Anonymous
|
I wouldn't worry about her staying quiet about it. Focus on telling people about your summer without being boastful.
If other kids are put in daycare for the summer, I guarantee they don't give two sh*ts that your kid went to Paris. |
Anonymous
|
Yes, I would tell my child to say she's going to camp, but not sure which one - this is both true and plausible. Now whether or not that will actually happen is another question, and I would not punish a child of that age for saying a little too much.
|
Anonymous
| Don't tell her anything!! I once had the same ideas that it would be boastful to inform people but it's important for her not to feel shame or separate herself in secrecy. Someone will text you for a play date and ask "what camp?" if you say she's at a camp. Somehow it will come out and you will look cagey for keeping it a secret and just look bad. Just don't address it with her at all. She can talk about it or not. Learn from my mistakes! |
Anonymous
|
This is not something you need to try and control; it’s life. There will be people in your DD’s life who are able to do things she can’t. That’s not a reality you need to hide, it will be a fact of life forever, for everyone.
“Just going to daycare” - these kids might have plenty of fun there - school is out! As long as your kid isn’t incessantly bragging, which is a lesson in social skills. But that’s the only thing you really need to advise on. |
Anonymous
|
You may not know as much as you think you do. Our care center goes into "summer camp mode" with at least two field trips a week in the summer, including roller skating, archery center, water park, movies, bowling, ice cream shop, the zoo, the Baltimore Aquarium, a minor league baseball game, etc. So don't be so quick to assume that "just in daycare" kids are doing nothing. They also have weekly water days, theme weeks, and in-house field trips like Eco Adventures and craft instructions.
This in addition to three vacations, I'm not feeling bad for my "just in care center" kids this summer. Especially as I pick them up early almost every day in the summer to go to the pool, thanks to my laid-back work environment. |
Anonymous
Small town - we don't have zoos, water parks, baseball, and aquariums. We would do daycare if that was the case! |
Anonymous
|
Oh come on.
If her friends are in daycare they’re definitely not old enough to care or notice. “I’m going to the beach” could just as easily mean a day trip to Chesapeake beach or a couple weeks in St. Lucia. You need to get over yourself. |
Anonymous
Attempting a serious response: I don't "politely" tell my kids anything. I kindly tell them how it will be. You simply inform her that she keeps quiet about her summer unless asked, and if asked you give her truthful but vague responses she should use, like "I'll be in camp" (camp can, after all, mean anything from daycare camp to sleepaway camp in another country). Then you practice. And as another PP said, many kids may not see the differences as that big of a deal. Day care can be super fun! |
Anonymous
They do care. |
Anonymous
| 10 years can be told "everyone has different financial and family situations. You can tell you friends about your summer if asked, but no need to brag." I have a 10 year old and they already know this. |
Anonymous
Well, they don't care on Earth, but maybe they care from wherever you're posting from, so I'll try to keep an open mind. |
Anonymous
Summer daycare for older elementary kids is not the same as toddler daycare. |
Anonymous
|
Isn't summer "daycare" for 10 year olds just camp? I'm confused what all the other kids are doing...
Teach your DD not to brag in general. In this instance, maybe just coach her to say that she won't be local most of the summer...I'll be in X city with my cousins in June, etc. |