Empty nesters- What do you talk about with your spouse

[Anonymous]

Went out last night with my husband and we had absolutely nothing to talk about- Maybe spent a minute about the eclipse. He talks about his work but I can’t listen to him talk about it anymore. I work with little kids, I don’t want to talk about them.

Most of our friends have moved to Florida. I feel doomed.

[Anonymous]

Get a puppy!

[Anonymous]

I’ve had this conversation with so many of my friends who are entering empty nesting. I’m dreading it. I love my DH but the togetherness is going to be a lot. And our child is wonderful and we have always enjoyed our family unit.

I think we’ll have to find some sep hobbies.

Honestly I don’t really know and this is not something I was prepared for. Nor do I want it but I can’t reverse time and bring back childhood.

[Anonymous]

So many things! We still play the same game we played when we were dating - guessing the lifestyles and relationships of other diners at the same restaurant. We talk about books we're reading, movies we want to see, our respective volunteering, our friends, our kids, places we want to go/eat at, random neighborhood stuff going on, plans for the rest of the day/weekend, Israel, upcoming elections, concerts we're attending, and on and on.

[Anonymous]

We always have something to talk about but dining out with friends is always more fun. We are not joined at the hip 24/7 as we have different interests. Most of our talk time is around dinner time where we’ll talk about current events, our kids, who needs to do what around the house plus random stupid stuff.

[Anonymous]

Our kid, politics, work, travel, tennis, dining out, gardening. These are my interests and I think he politely listens.

[Anonymous]

I agree with getting a dog. We spend a lot of time talking about the dog. We also walk him together every evening, which is nice.

Other than that, we talk about the kids, our aging parents, neighborhood happenings, the Nationals, our next vacation, stuff we've read in the newspaper. I feel like we have pretty good conversations/connection. But going out to dinner with just the two feels very stilted. I prefer to get takeout and eat together while doing a puzzle or watching tv. We save restaurants for going out with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with getting a dog. We spend a lot of time talking about the dog. We also walk him together every evening, which is nice.

Other than that, we talk about the kids, our aging parents, neighborhood happenings, the Nationals, our next vacation, stuff we've read in the newspaper. I feel like we have pretty good conversations/connection. But going out to dinner with just the two feels very stilted. I prefer to get takeout and eat together while doing a puzzle or watching tv. We save restaurants for going out with friends.

I have to agree with getting a puppy or dog. We've had our dog nearly 2 years now and she's about 50% of our conversation. The rest is our kids, house stuff, neighborhood news. We disagree on some political issues, so stay away from certain news topics. I also agree with PP that conversation out to dinner with just us 2 does seem stilted.

[Anonymous]

OP here- we already have a dog, saved our conversations a couple years back.. now what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- we already have a dog, saved our conversations a couple years back.. now what?

Another dog, of course! A PUPPY.

[Anonymous]

The same things we’ve talked about our whole relationship. Are you saying while you had kids at home you only talked about your kids and work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same things we’ve talked about our whole relationship. Are you saying while you had kids at home you only talked about your kids and work?

OFC not. But kids were the focus. The activities, schools, friendships, playdates, sports, etc. etc. When that is gone, there is a LOT of space to fill. I have no idea how I filled that time before having a baby. It's just a blur.

Then you have them. And then it's just . . . . done. Some of us feel the grief of the loss. The confusion of what to do with our time. I know I'm struggling with that right now.

[Anonymous]

Married 31 years. Yesterday’s topics of conversation included, but we’re not not limited to:
Did the talented Mr. Ripley warrant a new series?
How much we learned from John Stewart’s interview with the head of the FTC, Lina Kahn.
The capitals chances of making it to the playoffs.
The new book my husband is reading.
Neighborhood dogs.
Whether or not the cat should go back on on allergy medication

[Anonymous]

We are retired. Last night at dinner we talked about:
The book The Women by Kristin Hannah. I loved it and he’s half way through it and really likes it.
The women’s final basketball game.
Finding someone to clean our BBQ grille before we head north. He will deal with it.

Most Monday mornings, very early, he heads out to meet friends for coffee. Today I said “are you sure you’re not having an affair” and he said “if I were I would have showered.” Good point! He still makes me laugh!

[Anonymous]

Most Monday mornings, very early, he heads out to meet friends for coffee. Today I said “are you sure you’re not having an affair” and he said “if I were I would have showered.”

Lol!