do you let friends stay at your second home?

[Anonymous]

We have a lake home that we rent out and ppl rent it year round but not so much in the winter.
We were scheduled to go a couple weeks ago but it was really bad weather so we didn't go. We had invited our friends to go with us. They do go with us several times in the summer.
We are not in town (or the state for that matter) this weekend and our friends want to go up and stay, without us.
We feel funny about it. We haven't received any rental inquiries for this weekend so I doubt it will be rented.
But, I would never ask someone this.
Is it odd?

[Anonymous]

Yes it feels awkward. Did they offer to pay like a rental? Or do they just assume they can go up because you are friends and have invited them. Can you just tell them it is rented?

[Anonymous]

It is not odd.

We have several properties in Aspen, Hamptons, SF, and NYC. Our primary is MD.

Hard no for friends without us. Not friends and not siblings, or cousins etc no one.

The only time I let someone do this was after a loss of a child.

[Anonymous]

We do this rarely. I am not a fan and I feel like one of us has to go right afterwards so that we can be sure it’s closed up properly.

My spouse let a friend visit a few times and it pissed me off when they’d use up all the shampoo (or whatever) and not replace it.

[Anonymous]

It is a hassle. I try not to tell people I have a second home.

I have two sets of people going in May and June.

I have them leave $100 cash for the maid but this still does not cover the prep and cleaning costs.

[Anonymous]

It is a hassle because it has to be prepped before and checked afterwards. I try not to do this.

[Anonymous]

these are good ideas.
Yes, the thought of "will they leave it clean enough" to be rented is one I'm currently wondering.
They would pay, I think, but that would feel funny too.
The only ppl we have let use it without us is our adult children, who pay for the cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:these are good ideas.
Yes, the thought of "will they leave it clean enough" to be rented is one I'm currently wondering.
They would pay, I think, but that would feel funny too.
The only ppl we have let use it without us is our adult children, who pay for the cleaning.

You're already renting it. Just ask them to pay for the cleaning like you'd have any renters do. If they're gracious people they'll probably volunteer that and also but a nice gift.

[Anonymous]

You let strangers stay in your lake house so clearly it’s not an issue of privacy.

You invited these friends to stay in your lake house so clearly they are decent people. Presumably you’d rent the place to them?

So you just don’t want to share your property with friends who are close enough to vacation with, even though it’s sitting empty on this weekend they asked to go.

That’s one kind of way to be in this world.

[Anonymous]

We have a condo in NYC. We don't allow anyone outside the family to stay there. If you're not blood, married in, or adopted in, you can't stay.

[Anonymous]

If you already rent it out I don’t see the issue. I would ask them to pay whatever costs are associated though—cleaners, etc.

[Anonymous]

I would say no. It’s weird and entitled for them to ask, particularly if not accompanied by an offer to pay.

[Anonymous]

It just feels weird that we’re not there with them. I can’t explain it.
We would not charge them.

[Anonymous]

I do for certain friends. No one who would want to take kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You let strangers stay in your lake house so clearly it’s not an issue of privacy.

You invited these friends to stay in your lake house so clearly they are decent people. Presumably you’d rent the place to them?

So you just don’t want to share your property with friends who are close enough to vacation with, even though it’s sitting empty on this weekend they asked to go.

That’s one kind of way to be in this world.

I guess the other way is to be, takers. Lots of those.